/O      J  Ml  «'CXVIIA 


DUE  2  WKS  FROMDATE  RECEIVED 


DUE:  OCT  2  2 
,CLA  ACCESS 


THE  FLINT   HEART 


UNIT.  OF  CALIF.  LIBRARY.  f.OS   ANGFT.FS 


The  exact  shape  of  a  bright  black  heart 


THE  FLINT  HEART 

A   FAIRY   STORY 


BY 

EDEN    PHILLPOTTS 

WITH  SIXTEEN  FULL  PAGE  ILLUSTRATIONS 
BY  CHARLES  FOLKARD 


NEW  YORK 

E-P- BUTTON  &  COMPANY 
31  West  Twenty-Third  Street 


Copyright,  1910 
BY  E.  P.  DUTTON  &  COMPANY 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I    THE  MYSTERY  MAN n 

II  THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM    ...     22 

III  THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT 39 

IV  MERRIPIT  FARM 57 

V  THE    FLINT    HEART    GETS    TO    WORK 

AGAIN 68 

VI    THE  MEETING 81 

VII    DE  QUINCEY 90 

VIII    THE  ZAGABOG 109 

IX    THE  ENTERTAINMENT 121 

X    THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY 135 

XI    THE  SAD  STRANGER 154 

XII  THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO  ....   169 

XIII  THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR 181 

XIV  THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE 192 

XV    THE  GALLOPER 202 

XVI  THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING  ....  216 

XVII    THE  EXAMINATION 230 

XVIII    THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS 244 

XIX  MR.  MELES  .                                            .  262 


2132259 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

XX  THE  DEPUTATION 270 

XXI  '  SEND  FOR  CHARLES  ! ' 282 

XXII  THE  SENTENCE 298 

XXIII  THE  FIGHT 306 

XXIV  A  MESSAGE  FROM  THE  ZAGABOG  .     .     .318 
XXV  *  GOOD-BYE,  FLINT  HEART  1 '  .     .     .     .  327 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

The  exact  shape  of  a  bright  black  heart  .  Frontispiece 

PAGE 

"  Look !  "  Fum  said,  "  the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder !  "    26 
Charles  was  staring  at  his  father 66 

Charles  found  himself  on  equal  terms  with  the 

little  fairy  man 94 

The  ladies  were   brilliant  in  every  colour  of  a 

rainbow 112 

The  Snick  announced  the  Zagabog  would  like  to 

say  four  words 126 

"  The  Snick  is  consulting  my  volumes  of  Who's 

Who" 154 

"Who  are  you?"  asked  Charles 162 

All  the  musicians  went  off  save  seven  and  the 

conductor        .  188 

The  reader  then  recited  the  Zagabog's  message  .    194 

"  Tis  my  business  to  get  you  humans  into  a  mess 

in  these  here  bogs  "       .......  208 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

The  Galloper  fell  on  his  knees 254 

The  spokesmen,  for  the  deputation,  were  six  in 

number 282 

"  Take  your  hat  off !  "  said  the  King  ....  290 
In  the  midst  tripped  the  hot-water  bottle  .  .  .  320 
Charles  struck  the  Flint  Heart  three  times  .  .  330 


THE    FLINT   HEART 

CHAPTER  I 

THE   MYSTERY    MAN 

Very  many  years  ago — perhaps  five  thou- 
sand, perhaps  more — there  was  a  wonderful 
and  a  busy  people  swarming  all  over  Dart- 
moor. And  if  you  don't  know  where  Dart- 
moor is,  get  your  map  of  England,  and  you'll 
find  it  in  Devonshire.  Some  day,  if  you  hap- 
pen to  be  lucky,  you  may  go  there  for  a  holi- 
day, and  then  I  can  promise  you  a  mighty  treat. 
But  you  won't  see  exactly  what  I'm  going  to 
show  you  now,  because  the  folk  who  begin 
this  story  have  all  vanished  and  their  houses 
have  nearly  all  vanished  too. 

They  lived  in  the  New  Stone  Age,  and  if 
you  think  that  sounds  dull,  you  never  made 

ii 


12  THE  FLINT  HEART 

a  bigger  mistake  in  your  life.  It  was  the 
liveliest  age  before  history.  In  fact,  nobody 
ever  had  a  dull  moment. 

Both  the  New  Stoners  and  the  Old  Stoners 
too  have  long  since  rolled  away ;  but  when  you 
go  to  Dartmoor  you  will  see  what  they  left 
behind  them  in  the  shape  of  hundreds  and 
hundreds  of  other  stones.  Some  stand  in  cir- 
cles, and  some  stand  in  rows,  and  some  stand 
all  alone;  but  you  will  mark  in  a  moment,  if 
your  eyes  are  worth  calling  eyes,  that  these 
stones  never  happened  by  chance.  They  are 
very  different  from  the  tors  and  "clitters"  and 
rock  masses  which  are  flung  about  all  over 
Dartmoor,  as  if  the  giants  had  been  having  a 
battle  there  and  tried  to  find  who  could  fling 
the  biggest  lump  at  his*  enemy. 

If  you  had  seen  the  Moor  when  the  New 
Stoners  lived  on  it,  you  would  have  noticed 
strange  little  villages  of  very  quaint-looking 
round  huts,  like  giant  beehives  in  clusters. 
And  about  them  stood  walls,  and  little  folds 
for  cattle,  and  circles  of  stones  dotted  in 


THE  MYSTERY  MAN  13 

rings,  where  perhaps  the  Houses  of  Parlia- 
ment met  to  fling  more  stones  at  each  other. 
You  will  see  also  long  rows  of  stones  stretch- 
ing far  away  to  lonely  spots  on  distant  tors, 
where  the  great  warriors  and  chiefs  were 
buried. 

You  know  these  people  had  never  heard  of 
metal,  and  so  used  nothing  but  stones.  There- 
fore we  call  their  days  the  "Stone  Age."  We 
can't  exactly  say  that  they  were  "behind  the 
times" ;  but  they  were  a  good  deal  before  them ; 
which  is  quite  as  bad,  if  not  worse,  because 
they  could  not  even  produce  a  packet  of  pins, 
or  a  tintack,  or  a  darning  needle.  Metal  had 
not  yet  been  discovered  by  them.  They  knew 
not  that  there  were  such  things  as  tin,  or  iron, 
or  gold,  or  silver,  or  copper,  or  lead.  Dart- 
moor was  full  of  good  useful  tin  under  their 
very  feet;  the  rivers  were  full  of  tin  also;  but 
they  did  not  guess  that,  and  they  went  on  pain- 
fully hammering  away  at  the  stones  and  doing 
the  best  they  could  with  the  granite  of  the 
Moor  and  the  splinters  of  flint,  which  they 


14  THE  FLINT  HEART 

brought  from  far  off  and  chipped  into  arrow- 
heads and  scrapers  and  spear-heads,  and  many 
other  useful  things. 

They  lived  in  the  beehive  huts,  and  these 
were  fairly  cosy  during  the  winter,  but  in  sum- 
mer-time must  have  been  rather  stuffy.  Their 
homes  were  made  of  huge  stones  arranged  in 
rings  and  planted  tight  together  and  padded 
with  peat.  The  roof  was  built  up  of  the  skins 
of  wild  beasts  stretched  on  sticks,  but  a  hole 
was  left  for  the  smoke  of  the  fire  to  get  out; 
and  there  was  another  hole  in  the  side  of  each 
hut  to  let  the  New  Stoners  get  in.  They  had 
no  doors,  but  crawled  in  on  hands  and  knees, 
and  then  lowered  a  leathern  curtain  to  keep 
the  cold  from  coming  in  after  them. 

The  fire  burnt  in  the  middle  of  each  hut ;  and 
when  the  day's  work  was  done,  and  the  hunt- 
ing or  fighting  over  and  the  children  put  to 
bed,  the  grown-up  folk  would  assemble  round 
their  fires;  and  the  men  would  make  spears, 
and  the  women  would  darn  the  men's 
leathern  shirts  with  fishbone  needles,  or  do 


THE  MYSTERY  MAN  15 

fancy  work,  using  bears'  claws  or  wolves' 
teeth  instead  of  beads.  Then  they  would  talk 
of  the  times  and  shake  their  heads;  for  I  can 
tell  you  the  times  were  pretty  hard,  as  you 
would  expect  them  to  be  in  an  Age  of  Stone. 
Not  that  they  knew  how  badly  they  were  off. 
On  the  contrary,  they  always  thought  the 
best  times  were  gone,  and  had  not  the  slightest 
idea  that  they  were  yet  to  come.  And  the  old 
people  all  said,  "Ah!  ah!  for  the  good  Old 
Stoners  and  their  fine  days  before  the  world 
went  so  fast  and  was  so  full  of  strange  novel- 
ties!" But  the  young  people  said,  "Oh!  oh! 
you  ancient  white-headed  sticks-in-the-mud, 
we  refuse  to  believe  any  time  was  better  than 
these  merry  days  of  the  New  Stoners." 
Which  was  rude;  but  exactly  the  same  thing 
is  going  on  still.  For  the  old  people  believe 
in  the  old  times,  and  the  middle-aged 
people  believe  in  the  middle-aged  times,  and 
the  young  people  believe  in  the  present 
times,  especially  if  they  happen  to  be  holiday 
times.  But  hardly  anybody  believes  in  the 


16  THE  FLINT  HEART 

future  times.  Yet,  for  my  part,  though  I 
sha'n't  be  there,  I  believe  in  them  with  all  my 
might,  and  feel  sure  that  they  will  be  more 
splendid  than  any  times  we  have  ever  had  yet. 
And  I  hope  you  will  live  long  enough  to  see 
them  arrive.  As  for  the  New  Stoners,  the 
Bronze  men  ran  into  them  while  they  were  still 
whining  about  the  good  old  times;  and  then 
they  very  soon  forgot  what  it  felt  like  to  have 
nothing  but  stone  to  work  with,  and  wondered 
how  anybody  had  ever  managed  to  get  on  with- 
out metal. 

The  arrival  of  the  first  pin  was  one  of  the 
greatest  events  in  Dartmoor  history.  It 
came  in  a  ship  to  Plymouth,  and  a  great  chief 
had  it  as  a  present  on  his  jubilee.  But  the 
great  chief's  wife  very  soon  got  it  out  of  him, 
and  the  first  New  Stoner  to  be  pricked  with 
it  was  the  great  chief's  wife's  boy  baby,  while 
he  was  being  logged  in  his  wolf-skin  cradle 
by  the  great  chief's  wife's  baby's  nurse. 

But  from  that  pin  to  an  arrow-head  was  but 
a  matter  of  a  moment;  and  then  followed 


THE  MYSTERY  MAN  17 

daggers  and  helmets  and  targets,  and  hair- 
pins and  safety-pins  and  hat-pins,  and  buttons 
and  fire-irons  and  frying-pans,  and  toasting 
forks  and  ploughshares  and  pruning-hooks 
and,  in  fact,  all  the  blessings  of  civilisation  that 
could  be  hoped  for  until  those  two  noisy  things, 
printing  and  gunpowder,  were  invented. 

AND  Now, 

after  all  this  talk,  the  story  begins. 

There  was  once  a  New  Stoner  whose  name 
was  Brokotockotick,  and  there  was  another 
New  Stoner  whose  name  was  merely  Fum. 
Brokotockotick — we  will  call  him  Brok  for 
short,  as  most  people  did  behind  his  back, 
though  he  wouldn't  have  liked  it — was  a 
fighter;  and  Fum  was  a  man  of  mystery. 
They  belonged  to  a  tribe  which  lived  in  a 
village  called  Grimspound,  under  Hameldon 
in  the  middle  of  Dartmoor;  and  the  tribe  was 
a  very  important  one,  and  Brok  and  Fum  were 
the  most  important  people  in  it.  Brokotocko- 
tick— whose  name  sounds  to  me  more  like  the 


i8  THE  FLINT  HEART 

cuckoo  clock  out  of  order  than  anything  sensi- 
ble— was  the  head-man  of  the  clan,  and  a 
warrior  of  high  renown,  and  Fum  was  a  good 
many  things  rolled  into  one.  He  was  the 
Lord  Chancellor  to  begin  with,  and  he  was  the 
Lord  Chief  Justice  too.  He  was  also  the  only 
doctor  in  the  tribe;  and,  as  if  all  that  was  not 
enough,  during  his  spare  time  he  made  poetry 
and  manufactured  charms  to  keep  off  the 
Bugaboos.  There  are  no  Bugaboos  on  Dart- 
moor now,  but  there  were  once.  They  van- 
ished away  with  the  Stone  Age.  And  Fum 
knew  all  about  the  Bugaboos,  and  could  fur- 
nish charms  for  catching  them  or  keeping  them 
off.  The  brave  New  Stoners  liked  one  charm ; 
the  timid  New  Stoners  preferred  the  other. 
Fum  was  paid  in  sheep  and  cattle  for  his  charms. 
Probably  the  sheep  weren't  quite  as  good 
as  our  prize  Dartmoors  nowadays ;  but  mutton 
was  mutton  even  then,  and  the  mystery  man 
loved  nothing  better  than  a  good  chump  chop. 
Therefore,  when  people  wanted  his  charms 
they  always  brought  a  live  sheep;  and  if  they 


THE  MYSTERY  MAN  19 

wanted  something  extra  strong  they  had  to 
bring  two.  Then  Fum  would  make  the 
charm,  and  often,  if  he  was  feeling  cheerful 
and  amiable,  he  would  keep  the  customer  and 
recite  one  of  his  finest  pieces  of  poetry. 

These  sagas,  or  sayings,  of  Fum's  were  very 
well  thought  of  in  those  days,  and  if  the  New 
Stoners  had  known  how  to  make  books  he 
might  have  done  well  and  sold  his  poems, 
nicely  bound  in  wolf-skin  or  bear-skin,  for  at 
least  a  shoulder  of  lamb  a  copy;  but  it  was 
a  dark  prehistoric  age,  and  the  great  idea  had 
not  struck  him.  He  merely  learned  his  own 
poems  by  heart  and  recited  them  for  his 
friends;  which,  after  all,  is  the  best  way  to 
publish,  if  your  friends  are  patient  and  kind. 

Some  poets  before  Fum's  time  lifted  up  their 
voices  and  sang.  And  the  first  New  Stoner 
who  sang  made  everybody  jump,  I  can  tell 
you.  In  fact,  he  was  so  amazing,  and  so  won- 
derful, and  so  unlike  everybody  else,  that  they 
took  him  out  to  the  top  of  a  high  hill  and 
chopped  his  head  off  with  a  flint  axe — just 


20  THE  FLINT  HEART 

for  a  warning  to  other  people  not  to  be  too 
clever.  But  the  second  poet  who  found  that 
he  could  sing  was  cleverer  still,  and  he  told  the 
people  exactly  what  he  was  going  to  do  before 
he  began.  So  they  were  ready  for  him  and 
didn't  jump,  and  thought  it  was  beautiful. 
In  fact,  they  made  a  tremendous  fuss  about 
him  and  bragged  about  him  to  other  New 
Stone  tribes  who  had  no  singers.  Which 
shows  that  you  may  do  anything  new  in 
reason,  so  long  as  you  don't  make  people  jump 
too  much,  but  give  them  fair  warning. 

And  this  is  the  end  of  the  first  chapter. 
There  is  no  special  reason  why  it  should  be; 
but  it  looks  about  long  enough,  and  I  like  to 
keep  my  chapters  fairly  short,  because  the  long 
ones  get  puffed  up  and  sneer  at  the  little  ones, 
though  often  the  little  ones  are  much  the  best 
and  the  long  ones  are  frightfully  dull.  Of 
course,  in  this  book  about  the  wonderful  and 
never-to-be-forgotten  Flint  Heart  there  must 
not  be  a  single  dull  chapter,  if  I  can  help  it. 
And  if  you  find  one,  please  write  me  and  tell 


THE  MYSTERY  MAN  21 

me  which  it  is.  Then  I  shall  soon  look  after 
it,  and  may  even  drop  it  out  of  the  story  alto- 
gether, if  it  does  not  try  to  improve  and 
brighten  itself  up. 


CHAPTER  II 

THE    MAKING    OF   THE    CHARM 

Fum  had  his  charm  shop  some  way  from  the 
village,  and  often  hid  himself  there  for  days 
at  a  time;  because  it  is  no  good  being  a  man 
of  mystery  if  you  don't  keep  it  up  and  do  mys- 
terious things.  So  he  built  a  special  hut 
down  by  the  river  Dart  at  a  place  called  Post- 
bridge,  and  he  went  there  twice  a  week  to  make 
charms.  And  if  there  were  a  lot  of  charms 
on  hand  and  not  much  for  the  Lord  Chancellor 
to  do,  and  not  much  for  the  doctor,  he  went 
down  to  Postbridge  three  times  a  week  and 
hid  there,  and  nobody  was  admitted  except 
on  business.  All  his  charms  were  made  of 
flint,  for  remember  always  that  this  was  the 
Stone  Age. 

Fum  got  these  flints  from  a  long  way  off, 
and  then,  with  an  immense  deal  of  time  and 

22 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM       23 

patience,  he  hammered  away  at  them  and 
chipped  and  chipped  and  chipped  them  into 
arrow-heads  and  spear-heads  and  other  use- 
ful and  necessary  things.  But  the  charms 
that  he  made  fetched  more  mutton  than 
the  other  articles,  and  were  really  easier  to 
make  too;  though  Fum  never  told  anybody 
that.  On  the  contrary,  he  pretended  that 
they  were  fearfully  difficult,  and  declared 
that  he  could  only  make  them  at  certain  times 
when  the  Thunder  Spirit  was  with  him. 
People  thought  this  was  mystery;  but  as  a 
matter  of  fact  it  was  merely  business. 

Fum  sat  one  day  chipping  a  flint  brooch  for 
Mrs.  Brokotockotick,  the  chief's  wife,  when 
there  came  to  him  a  young  warrior  of  the  clan 
called  Phuttphutt.  He  was  a  tall  strong  New 
Stoner,  with  black  hair,  and  he  wore  a  brown 
bear-skin  round  his  body  and  a  look  of  great 
discontent  upon  his  face.  He  had  nothing  else 
on  at  all,  except  one  heron's  feather  stuck 
behind  his  ear.  This  was  not  a  pen,  but  an 
order  or  distinction — the  order  of  the  G.H.F. 


24  THE  FLINT  HEART 

or  Grey  Heron  Feather.  It  was  a  military 
order,  and  could  only  be  won  by  a  soldier  who 
had  slain  fifty  enemies  with  his  own  hand. 

"Good  morning,  Fum,"  said  Phuttphutt.  "I 
know  there  is  no  admittance  here  except  on 
business ;  but  I  have  come  on  business.  I  want 
an  expensive  and  important  charm." 

"Sit  down  and  tell  me  about  it,"  answered 
Fum.  He  dropped  his  tools,  pushed  away  the 
brooch  for  Mrs.  Brok — it  was  not  going  on 
too  well,  and  promised  to  be  one  of  his  failures 
— got  up  from  his  work-table,  which  was  an 
old  tree-stump,  and  stretched  his  arms  and 
legs. 

"The  position  is  this,"  began  Phutt.  We 
can  leave  out  the  rest  of  his  name  except  on 
State  occasions.  "I  want  to  know  why  Brok- 
otockotick  is  the  chieftain  of  this  tribe.  I  want 
to  know  why  he  should  lord  it  over  a  man  like 
me.  I  want  to  know  if  I  shouldn't  make  quite 
as  good  a  chief  as  he  does ;  and  I  also  want  to 
know  how  to  set  about  becoming  chief  in  his 
place." 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM      25 

"You  want  to  know  a  lot  of  things,"  an- 
swered Fum. 

"I  do,"  admitted  Phutt.  "Take  an  instance. 
You  remember  that  in  the  great  battle  with  the 
tribe  on  the  other  side  of  the  river  I  killed  four- 
teen men  and  wounded  ten  more." 

"You  did,"  admitted  Fum,  "and  I  pro- 
posed and  seconded  the  vote  of  thanks  in  the 
House  of  Parliament." 

"Well,  you  will  recollect  that  among  other 
rare  spoils  I  took  with  my  own  hands,  when  the 
survivors  of  the  beaten  tribe  ran  for  their  lives, 
there  were  a  white  mole-skin  war-waistcoat 
from  the  body  of  the  chief  and  a  silver  fox- 
skin  petticoat  the  property  of  the  chief's  wife  ?" 

"Quite  true." 

"And  they  were  the  most  wonderful  and 
beautiful  things  in  the  whole  lodge,  and  natu- 
rally I  thought  I  ought  to  have  the  war-waist- 
coat and  my  wife  ought  to  have  the  silver-fox 
petticoat.  Yet  who  wear  them  now?" 

"Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brokotockotick  wear  them," 
answered  Fum. 


26  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Exactly.  He  took  them  away.  He  said 
they  were  his  by  right.  He  grabbed  all  the 
best  things  and  left  me  all  the  second  best. 
And  what  I  want  to  know  is,  why  ?" 

"Because  he  was  the  stronger." 

"Not  at  all,"  said  Phutt.  "I  am  stronger,  I 
am  younger ;  and  my  muscles  are  bigger.  I  am 
a  G.H.F.  as  well  as  him.  In  the  last  battle  he 
only  killed  seven  men  and  a  boy.  That  shows 
I'm  a  better  warrior  than  Brok." 

"A  better  warrior,  perhaps;  but  not  a 
stronger  man.  Your  grammar  is  bad  too. 
He's  harder-hearted;  he's  got  a  more  powerful 
will.  He  was  born  to  rule;  you  were  not.  If 
you  want  to  be  at  the  top  of  the  tree  in  this 
tribe  you've  got  to  be  as  hard-hearted  as  a  wolf. 
That's  where  he  beats  you — you're  too  soft, 
my  boy." 

Phutt  thought  about  this. 

"You're  right,"  he  said.  "Well,  then,  you 
know  the  sort  of  charm  I  must  have.  Give  me 
a  hard  heart,  Fum — the  harder  the  better." 

The  man  of  mystery  was  a  good  deal  older 


"Look!"  Fum  said,  "the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder!" 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM       27 

than  Phutt,  and  his  own  heart  was  not  very 
hard. 

"It  can  be  done,"  he  answered;  "but  think 
twice." 

"If  it  can  be  done,  do  it,"  said  Phutt. 

Fum  shook  his  head. 

"If  this  is  done,  there  will  be  no  more  peace  in 
the  tribe  till  you  have  become  chief." 

"It  won't  take  long  if  your  charm  is  strong 
enough,"  answered  Phutt,  G.H.F.  "You 
know  how  hard  Brok's  heart  is;  then  you've 
only  got  to  make  mine  twice  as  hard  and — " 

"But  there's  another  side,"  explained  Fum. 
"It's  true  you'll  be  chief,  but  you'll  very  likely 
lose  the  affection  of  the  tribe.  Brok  is  the 
head-man,  but  he  isn't  the  favourite  man. 
They  don't  shout  for  him  as  they  do  for  you. 
The  children  don't  weave  garlands  of  foxgloves 
for  him  as  they  do  for  you.  The  women  don't 
make  him  slippers  or  necklaces  of  wolf's  teeth, 
as  they  do  for  you." 

"Bah !"  cried  Phutt,  "who  wants  the  children 
bothering  round  him,  or  necklaces  of  wolf's 


28 

teeth  ?  Give  me  my  white  mole-skin  war-waist- 
coat and  unlimited  power." 

Still  Fum,  who  was  a  great  lover  of  peace, 
as  all  the  best  mystery  men  are,  tried  to  change 
Phutt's  mind ;  but  the  young  warrior  was  firm. 
Then  the  charm-maker  thought  of  a  way  out 
of  the  difficulty. 

"As  a  matter  of  fact,  such  a  thing  as  you 
want  would  be  frightfully  expensive,"  he 
said. 

"How  much?"  asked  Phutt. 

"Oh,  far  more  than  you  could  pay." 

"How  much  ?"  repeated  Phutt. 

"It  would  take  the  chief  himself  to  pay  it,  I 
assure  you." 

"How  much?" 

Thus  driven  into  a  corner,  Fum  had  to  an- 
swer, and  he  made  the  price  ridiculously  high. 

"Thirty-two  sheep  and  thirty-two  lambs," 
he  said. 

Then  he  heaved  a  sigh  of  relief,  for  he  felt 
pretty  sure  that  Phutt  would  not,  even  if  he 
could,  pay  such  a  price  as  that. 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM      29 

The  other  considered,  and  Fum  tried  yet 
again  to  influence  him. 

"What's  the  use?"  he  continued.  "What's 
the  good  of  a  hard  heart,  even  if  you've  got 
one?  A  soft  heart  wins  much  pleasanter 
things ;  and  to  be  head  of  a  tribe  like  this  is  not 
at  all  a  pleasant  thing.  Look  here,  I'll  give 
you  a  very  fine  charm  for  catching  white  moles, 
and  then  you'll  soon  be  able  to  get  your  wife 
to  make  you  a  white  mole-skin  war-waistcoat 
of  your  own.  And  it  will  be  a  new  one,  and 
no  doubt  fit  you  much  better  than  the  other." 

But  Phutt  was  not  listening. 

"This  charm  will  make  my  heart  just  twice 
as  hard  as  Brok's  ?"  he  asked. 

"It  will;  and  so  you'll  have  just  twice  as 
many  difficulties  as  Brok." 

"And  I  shall  be  just  twice  as  well  able  to 
tackle  them." 

Then  Phutt,  who  was  no  hand  at  figures, 
asked  Fum  to  show  him  exactly  how  many 
thirty-two  sheep  and  thirty-two  lambs  would 
be,  and  Fum  arranged  thirty-two  big  lumps 


30  THE  FLINT  HEART 

of  flint  for  the  sheep  and  thirty-two  little  ones 
for  the  lambs. 

"I'll  call  again  the  day  after  to-morrow," 
said  Phutt,  "and  then  I'll  see  if  I  can  pay  you." 

He  put  all  the  stones  into  a  leather  bag  and 
went  off  to  his  flock  of  sheep,  which  lived  out- 
side the  main  great  wall  of  Grimspound  vil- 
lage, and  were  driven  inside  at  night  and 
tended  by  a  shepherd.  Then  he  made  the 
shepherd  drive  the  sheep  in  a  row  before  him, 
and  he  put  down  a  flint  stone  as  each  passed. 
He  found  when  they  had  all  gone  by  that  there 
were  no  flints  left.  Therefore  his  total  flock 
just  sufficed  to  pay  Fum  for  the  promised 
charm. 

Phutt  was  well  pleased  at  this  and,  accord- 
ing to  his  promise,  visited  Fum  again  on  the 
following  day. 

"I  find,"  said  he,  "that  I  can  pay  for  the 
charm,  so  you  may  set  about  it.  Here  are 
your  flint  stones  back.  I  have  got  exactly  as 
many  sheep  and  lambs  as  there  are  stones  in 
this  bag." 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM      31 

"Remember,"  said  Fum,  "you  will  be  left 
without  any  at  all." 

But  Phutt  only  laughed  at  that. 

"You're  not  such  a  very  clever  man  as  you 
make  out,  it  seems  to  me,"  he  answered. 
"Why,  when  my  heart  turns  hard,  I  shall  jolly 
soon  have  as  many  sheep  as  I  want,  and  as 
many  cows  too,  not  to  mention  as  many  of 
everything  else." 

"True,"  said  Fum.  "I  had  overlooked 
that." 

"When  shall  I  have  the  charm?"  asked 
Phutt. 

"As  soon  as  I  can  make  it.  In  a  month,  if 
all  goes  well.  But  flint  is  an  unkind  stone — 
you  never  know  if  it  will  split  right  or  wrong." 

"In  a  month,  then,  I  shall  return,"  said 
Phutt ;  "and  on  the  day  the  charm  is  handed  to 
me  my  sheep  shall  be  driven  into  your  fold." 

Off  he  went,  and  Fum  took  a  stone  there  and 
then  and  began  to  give  it  a  few  rough  pre- 
liminary blows.  But,  at  the  very  first  stroke, 
a  remarkable  thing  happened.  The  stone 


32  THE  FLINT  HEART 

broke  into  three  pieces,  and  the  middle  piece 
was  in  the  exact  shape  of  a  bright  black  heart 
with  a  hole  in  it.  Of  course,  Fum  couldn't  be- 
lieve his  eyes.  But  there  was  no  mistaking  the 
object.  He  had  earned  thirty-two  sheep  and 
thirty-two  lambs  at  a  single  blow!  Still  he 
knew  right  well  that  such  a  thing  had  not  hap- 
pened by  chance.  He  was  aware  that  the 
great  and  powerful  and  much-to-be-dreaded 
Spirit  of  the  Thunder  had  helped  him. 

Now  the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder  is  as  mis- 
chievous and  far  more  wicked  than  a  school- 
boy. He  had  played  Fum  some  strange 
tricks  before,  and  on  this  occasion,  greatly 
though  he  loved  a  chop,  or  a  nice  saddle  of 
mutton  with  rowanberry  jelly,  yet  the  mystery 
man  would  gladly  have  given  up  his  bargain 
and  thrown  the  Flint  Heart  into  the  river 
rather  than  hand  it  to  Phutt.  But  he  dared 
not  do  any  such  thing,  because  he  knew  that 
the  Thunder  Spirit  had  helped  him;  and  to 
have  any  difference  with  the  Spirit  of  the 
Thunder  was  quite  out  of  the  question 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM       33 

in  New  Stone  days.  The  Spirit  of  the 
Thunder  talks  Death,  and  every  word  of  his  lan- 
guage is  strong  enough  to  burn  up  even  a  mys- 
tery man.  Fum  remembered  the  last  mys- 
tery man  and  what  became  of  him  only  too 
well.  He  was  called  Sminth,  and  he  quar- 
relled with  the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder ;  and  when 
the  Spirit  answered  back,  all  that  was  left  of 
Sminth  was  a  little  bit  of  charcoal  about  half 
the  size  of  a  cocoanut.  You  see,  the  Spirit  of 
the  Thunder  always  will  have  the  last  word. 

So,  taking  one  thing  with  another,  Fum  felt 
that  the  responsibility  must  rest  with  the 
Spirit  of  the  Thunder,  and  he  went  to  his  door 
and  called  after  Phutt. 

The  whole  making  of  the  Heart  had  occu- 
pied but  one  minute  and  thirty  seconds,  and 
Phutt  was  still  within  earshot.  Therefore  he 
heard  and  returned. 

His  surprise  at  seeing  the  Heart  was  very 
considerable,  and  he  felt  suspicious  and  in- 
clined to  doubt  if  Fum  had  fairly  earned  his 
flock. 


34  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"You  may  take  it  or  leave  it,  and  I  wish 
you'd  leave  it,"  said  the  mystery  man.  "/ 
don't  want  you  to  have  it.  And  as  sure  as  my 
name  is  Fum,  you'll  repent  it." 

But  Phutt  thought  not.  He  and  Fum  took 
hands  and  walked  round  and  round  the  Flint 
Heart,  and  Fum  lifted  up  his  light  baritone 
voice,  and  sang  a  song,  and  Phutt,  who  was 
a  tenor,  replied,  also  in  verse;  because  a  New 
Stoner's  bargain  was  always  ratified  in  that 
manner.  These  are  their  words,  done  into 
modern  English,  and,  I  regret  to  say,  quite 
spoiled  in  translation. 

Fum  began : 

"  By  the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder,  do  not  take  this 

direful  charm, 
So  deadly  and  so  dangerous,  so  full  of  hidden 

harm. 

Oh,  change  your  mind ;  be  good  and  kind 
As  you  were  wont  to  be; 
Your  family,  dear  Phutt,  I  know, 
Will  much  regret  to  see 
A  husband  and  a  father  dear 
Abandon  love  and  rule  by  fear." 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM       35 

But  Phutt  would  not  take  the  hint,  though 
Fum  sang  beautifully,  and  there  were  tears  in 
his  voice  and  even  in  his  eyes  as  he  danced 
round  and  round. 

The  young  warrior  shook  his  head,  cleared 
his  throat,  and  answered  thus : 

"  This  black  flint  heart  I  welcome ;  it  shall  hang 

upon  my  vest; 
For  Stoners  New  a  hard  flint  heart,  believe 

me,  Fum,  is  best. 
A  chip  of  night, 
A  charm  of  might 
To  startle  and  surprise, 
To  frighten  men  and  women  all 
And  make  them  rub  their  eyes. 
For  Phutt  shall  ever  reign  by  fear  — 
Oh,  Spirit  of  the  Thunder,  hear !  " 

They  danced  round  eighteen  times,  which 
the  occasion  demanded,  because  eighteen  is  the 
magical  New  Stone  number.  Then  they 
stopped  and  Fum  dried  his  eyes,  and  Phutt, 
stringing  the  Flint  Heart  on  a  leather  bootlace, 
hung  it  round  his  neck  and  went  to  look  at  him- 
self in  a  pool  of  water.  But  he  didn't  see 


36  THE  FLINT  HEART 

himself  reflected  there.  Instead  he  was 
rather  alarmed  to  observe  gazing  up  at  him 
a  dark,  terrible,  and  wonderful  phantom. 
This  phantom  was  not  exactly  ugly — indeed, 
some  people  might  have  admired  it ;  but  it  was 
solemn  and  strange,  and  its  eyes  were  the  cop- 
per-colour of  the  sky  before  storm,  and  its 
hair  was  the  lightning,  twisted,  tangled,  tor- 
mented over  its  forehead  into  a  fury  of  fire. 
You  never  saw  such  lovely  hair — all  rose  and 
blue  and  dazzling  flame-colour. 

Phutt  started  back  and  looked  aloft,  and  saw 
in  the  sky  the  amazing  and  terrific  shape  that 
had  thrown  this  picture  into  the  pool. 

Fum  was  not  so  much  astonished,  because 
he  had  met  the  wonder  before. 

"Look!"  he  said,  "the  Spirit  of  the  Thunder! 
Hark!  It  speaks!" 

Out  of  the  darkened  zenith,  where  the  daz- 
zling diamond-bright  arch  of  the  Spirit's  hair 
made  the  daylight  wan,  there  came  a  peal  of 
many  thunders.  The  awful  music  rang  and 
rattled  and  roared;  and  the  rocky  hills  caught 


THE  MAKING  OF  THE  CHARM        37 

the  noise  and  flung  it  backwards  and  for- 
wards among  them. 

"Now  you've  done  it !"  said  Fum ;  "I  wouldn't 
be  you  for  all  the  sheep  on  Dartmoor." 

But  Phutt  was  not  alarmed  after  the  first 
shock.  He  looked  up  quite  calmly  and  smiled 
and  nodded. 

"That's  all  right,  Thunder  Spirit,"  he  said. 
"We're  not  deaf!" 

Of  course,  to  be  rude  to  the  Thunder  Spirit 
may  have  been  rather  brave  of  Phutt,  but  it 
was  also  rather  foolish,  and  Fum  felt  ex- 
ceedingly uneasy.  He  feared,  indeed,  that  this 
rash  young  New  Stoner  would  instantly  be 
swept  away  by  a  flash  of  lightning  for 
his  pains.  The  Thunder  Spirit,  however, 
did  nothing.  He  had  a  true  sense  of  humour, 
and  the  idea  of  this  human  atom  talking  to  him 
so  cheekily  much  amused  the  great  being. 
So  he  broke  out  into  a  rattling  peal  of  laughter 
that  shook  Dartmoor  to  the  roots  and  knocked 
the  upper  storeys  off  seven  of  the  highest  tors ; 
then  he  gathered  his  garment  of  sooty  cloud 


38  THE  FLINT  HEART 

about  him  and  drew  the  cowl  of  the  rain  over 
his  glittering  hair  and  swept  away  in  tempest 
and  darkness. 

After  he  had  gone  the  sky  turned  blue  again ; 
but  it  was  not  nearly  so  blue  as  Fum. 

The  man  of  mystery  went  back  into  his 
workshop  and  picked  up  Mrs.  Brok's  brooch; 
while  Phutt,  eager  to  test  the  power  of  the 
Flint  Heart,  made  all  haste  to  return  to  Grims- 
pound. 

On  the  way  he  met  three  different  beasts, 
and  considered  that  this  accident  was  a  good 
omen. 

The  first  was  a  deer,  and  he  slew  it  and  said, 
"Good,  I  shall  have  the  swiftness  of  the  deer." 

The  second  was  a  bear,  and  he  slew  it  and 
said,  "Better,  I  shall  have  the  strength  of  a 
bear." 

The  third  was  a  fox,  and  he  slew  it  and  said, 
"Best,  I  shall  have  the  cunning  of  the  fox!" 

And  so  he  came  back  to  Grimspound. 


CHAPTER  III 

THE   REIGN    OF    PHUTT 

At  the  great  entrance  in  the  main  wall  that 
ran  all  round  the  village  three  children  were 
sitting  in  the  road  playing  at  knuckle-bones. 
Their  hair  was  black  and  their  eyes  were 
black,  and  their  mouths  were  purple  because 
they  had  all  been  eating  whortleberries.  They 
wore  no  clothes,  and  their  little  bodies  were 
hard  and  strong  and  their  little  muscles  were 
coming  on  well.  They  laughed  at  Phutt  as  he 
approached,  and  asked  him  to  come  and  join 
the  game ;  but  they  didn't  laugh  twice,  because 
Phutt  told  them  to  get  out  of  his  way,  and 
before  they  had  time  to  do  so  he  kicked  them 
out.  The  infant  New  Stoners  flew  in  one 
direction;  their  knuckle-bones  flew  in  another. 
A  woman  standing  by  thought  that  she  must  be 
in  a  nightmare  to  see  such  a  horrid  sight;  but 

39 


40  THE  FLINT  HEART 

after  she  had  pulled  her  pigtail  to  prove  that 
she  was  awake,  she  ran  screaming  down  the 
high  street  of  Grimspound  and  let  it  be  known 
that  the  great  warrior  Phutt  had  gone  mad 
and  was  killing  the  children  at  the  gate.  Then 
the  father  of  the  children  hastened  out  and 
met  Phutt,  and  used  some  rather  strong  New 
Stone  words,  such  as  "Spzflutz"  and 
"Bbjkfjiuk"  and  "Bubblexg,"  which  we  have 
lost  the  art  of  pronouncing  (if  it  can  be  con- 
sidered a  loss) ;  and  when  he  had  done  Phutt 
took  his  flint-headed  axe  and  hit  the  father 
of  the  family  on  the  head  with  it,  so  that  he 
fell  down  and  died  upon  the  spot.  There  was 
really  no  arguing  with  Phutt  now. 

Of  course,  during  those  days  people  were 
naturally  a  little  more  prickly  than  they  are  in 
the  twentieth  century ;  but  even  for  a  man  who 
had  missed  going  to  school  Phutt  went  too 
far.  To  question  his  judgment  meant  a 
broken  jaw  or  a  dig  in  the  pit  of  the  stomach 
that  would  have  settled  anybody  but  a  Stone 
Man  on  the  spot ;  while  those  unwise  members 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT          41 

of  the  clan  who  openly  differed  from  him  found 
their  heads  cloven  in  twain  before  they  could 
take  their  hats  off. 

Mrs.  Phutt  very  properly  sided  with  her  hus- 
band. She  felt  that  it  was  only  right  and 
respectable  to  sink  or  swim  with  him,  what- 
ever he  did;  but  the  thirteen  little  Phutts,  as 
children  will,  refused  to  hide  their  private 
opinions  of  the  change  that  had  come  over 
daddy.  They  howled  if  he  looked  at  them,  and 
ran  for  protection  to  the  great,  lean,  wolfish 
sheep-dogs  that  guarded  the  folds  by  night. 

But  after  Phutt  had  talked  to  the  sheep-dogs 
even  they  went  in  fear,  and  the  moment  they 
heard  his  voice  they  put  their  tails  between  their 
legs  and  bent  their  heads  and  bristled  and 
growled  and  showed  their  teeth  and  skulked 
with  glimmering  red-hot  eyes  away. 

Then,  after  three  days  of  this  sort  of  thing, 
the  tribe  sent  a  deputation  to  their  chief  beg- 
ging that  the  head  of  Phutt  might  be  taken  off 
as  quickly  as  possible  in  the  interests  of  peace 
and  progress.  The  man  of  mystery,  Fum  him- 


42  THE  FLINT  HEART 

self,  composed  the  petition;  but  even  he 
trembled  a  little  when  he  delivered  it  before 
Brok,  because  nobody  had  been  more  surprised 
than  Fum  to  find  what  a  frightfully  strong 
charm  it  was  that  he  had  managed  to  make  for 
Phutt. 

The  big  men  of  the  tribe — all  that  were  left, 
for  Phutt  had  killed  a  good  many — went  in  a 
procession  to  Brokotockotick  and  pushed  Fum 
forward.  They  had  chosen  an  afternoon  when 
Phutt  was  from  home  killing  bears;  and  Fum 
rather  gabbled  the  petition,  for,  like  everybody 
else,  he  was  in  a  terrible  fright  that  Phutt 
would  return  before  any  plans  could  be  made. 

"May  it  please  your  gracious  Goodness,  we, 
the  loyal  and  faithful  people  of  the  loyal  and 
faithful  city  of  Grimspound,  do  implore  and 
beseech  and  beg  and  entreat  your  genial 
Mightiness  to  restrain,  sit  on,  squash,  squelch, 
and  otherwise  smash  that  high  and  mighty  and 
far-too-much-puffed-up  person  known  as  Phutt 
for  shortness,  whose  real  name  is  Phuttphutt, 
from—" 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  43 

"Take  breath/'  said  the  chief.  "There  is  no 
hurry,  my  dear  Fum.  I  am  disengaged  until 
supper-time.  These  legal  forms  of  speech  are 
exceptionally  trying  to  a  stout  and  short- 
winded  gentleman  like  yourself,  because  of  the 
lack  of  stops." 

Which  shows  what  a  wise,  considerate,  and 
reasonable  person  Brok  was  for  those  days. 

Fum  thanked  him,  and  the  rest  applauded 
with  their  eyes  nervously  turned  to  the  gate. 
But  Phutt  was  not  yet  in  sight. 

"We  therefore  beg,  implore,  beseech,  and 
also  pray  that  it  may  please  your  cheerful  and 
kind-hearted  Amiability  to  stand  between  us 
and  the  awful  severity  of  Phutt,  and  we  may 
add  that  he  has  destroyed  many  of  your  King- 
ship's subjects  and  fighting  men  and — " 

"He's  coming,  he's  coming!"  cried  several 
of  the  older  warriors.  They  were  very  ancient, 
and  their  hair  was  white,  and  their  nerves  were 
not  what  they  had  been.  Now  their  knees 
knocked  together,  and  they  exhibited  all  the 
worst  signs  of  funk. 


44  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"The  sooner  he  comes  the  better,"  said  Brok. 
"What  I  hear  annoys  me  very  much.  It  is 
quite  wrong,  and  not  at  all  nice  of  him.  Are 
there  not  plenty  of  our  enemies  to  kill,  if  he 
wants  to  kill  people?  I  don't  like  this  loose 
way  we  are  falling  into  of  killing  one  another 
without  a  proper  reason.  It  isn't  gentlemanly, 
and  it  isn't  a  good  example  for  the  children. 
What's  more,  I  won't  have  it.  Tell  him  to 
come  here  and  stand  in  front  of  me." 

"I  regret  to  say  that  he  won't  be  ordered," 
explained  Fum.  "Only  yesterday  two  cour- 
ageous people  tactfully  hinted  to  Phutt  that  his 
conduct  threw  him  open  to  criticism.  His 
reply  was  to  cut  them  both  in  half  across  the 
middle — like  two  packs  of  cards." 

"Then  it  is  time  for  me  to  act,"  declared  the 
chief.  "Phutt  must  be  cautioned,  and  if  it 
happens  again  he  shall  be  punished." 

The  great  Brok  rose  off  his  granite  throne, 
hitched  his  robes  about  him,  and  sent  a  boy  for 
his  crown.  The  robes  were  made  of  black 
bear-skins,  dotted  with  white  rabbits'  tails ;  and 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  45 

nobody  but  Brok  might  wear  this  quaint  and 
pleasing  raiment  under  pain  of  death;  because 
it  was  the  recognised  garment  of  the  chief. 
Brok's  crown  was  made  of  kingfishers' 
feathers,  and  it  gave  him  quite  a  stylish  look, 
though  he  wore  it  rather  farther  on  the  back 
of  his  head  than  crowns  are  worn  now.  That, 
however,  is  a  matter  of  taste,  which  did  not 
detract  from  Brok's  regal  appearance  in  the 
eyes  of  his  subjects. 

As  Phutt  wouldn't  come  to  him,  Brok,  with 
true  philosophy,  sent  for  his  chair  of  State  and 
went  to  Phutt.  Four  New  Stoners  carried 
the  chair,  and  the  entire  population  of  men, 
women,  children,  dogs,  and  perambulators 
came  behind. 

The  bold  Phutt  stood  at  his  door  eating  a 
piece  of  cake  for  his  tea.  Close  at  hand  Mrs. 
Phutt  was  skinning  the  bear  which  her  hus- 
band had  brought  home  on  his  shoulders. 

"Good  afternoon,  Phutt,"  said  Brok. 

"Afternoon,"  said  Phutt,  with  his  mouth 
full. 


46  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"You're  having  your  tea,  I  observe,"  said 
Brok  very  politely. 

"You  observe  right,"  answered  Phutt. 

"Does  it  occur  to  you  that  a  good  many 
other  brave  men  would  also  be  having  their 
teas  at  this  moment  if  you  had  not  slain  them  ?" 
asked  the  chief. 

"Pooh!  Don't  be  sentimental!"  answered 
Phutt. 

Then  he  went  on  with  his  cake. 

Brok  took  off  his  crown  and  scratched  his 
head.  It  was  a  natural,  if  not  a  kingly,  action. 
The  silence  was  almost  painful.  You  could 
have  heard  anybody  wink. 

"Am  I  your  chief,  or  am  I  not?"  asked  Brok 
calmly. 

"You  are  not,"  answered  Phutt. 

"Then  you  stand  convicted  of  treason  to  the 
throne,"  replied  Brok;  "and  you  know  what 
the  punishment  for  that  is." 

Brok  began  to  get  angry,  for  the  scorn  and 
insolence  in  Phutt's  eye  was  hard  to  bear. 

"Who  took  my  white  mole-skin  war-waist- 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  47 

coat  and  silver-fox  petticoat?"  asked  Phutt 
passionately. 

He  had  finished  his  tea,  and  his  fingers  were 
playing  with  the  edge  of  his  terrible  flint  axe. 

"They  were  not  yours,"  answered  Brok. 
"The  spoils  of  a  slain  chief  belong  to  the  vic- 
torious chief  and  nobody  else.  As  a  matter  of 
fact,  I  may  tell  you  that  the  moth  has  got  into 
the  war-waistcoat  rather  badly." 

"That  is  neither  here  nor  there,"  answered 
Phutt.  "What  I  say  is  that  I  deny  your  right 
to  the  chieftainship  of  this  clan;  and,  in  fact, 
I  claim  it  for  myself." 

"Perhaps  you'll  tell  me  why,"  suggested 
Brok. 

"Because  I'm  stronger  and  bigger  and 
younger  and  a  better  manager,"  said  Phutt. 

"You  may  be,"  answered  Brok,  "though  I'm 
not  prepared  to  admit  all  that.  But,  as  I  am 
chief,  and  these  gentlemen  and  ladies  are  per- 
fectly satisfied  with  the  way  I  and  my  wife 
manage  things,  it  ill  becomes  you  to  talk  this 
nonsense.  You  are  in  a  minority  of  one." 


48  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"So  be  it,"  returned  Phutt.  "Then  who  will 
join  the  minority?" 

None  answered,  and  the  intrepid  Phutt 
moistened  his  hands  and  swung  his  battle-axe. 

"If  you  won't  all  join  the  minority,  then  you 
shall  all  join  the  majority!"  he  cried,  and  with 
this  dreadful  threat  he  shouted  to  the  Spirit  of 
the  Thunder  to  lend  him  a  hand,  and  boldly 
attacked  the  entire  clan !  His  first  awful  blow 
laid  Brokotockotick  dead  at  his  feet;  and  the 
Thunder  Spirit,  though  he  did  not  actually 
take  sides  with  Phutt  and  kill  anybody,  yet 
rattled  and  roared  a  good  deal  and  made  it 
pretty  clear  that  he  was  in  favour  of  a  change. 

So  the  rest  of  the  braves  yielded  without 
more  unpleasantness,  because  their  wives  im- 
plored them  to  do  so  for  the  sake  of  the  chil- 
dren, and  Phutt  promised  them  all  a  little 
present  on  the  occasion  of  his  next  birthday. 
He  immediately  put  on  the  bear-skin  and  rab- 
bit-tails and  the  kingfisher  crown,  and  every- 
body bowed  down  and  asked  what  his  first 
order  as  chief  was  going  to  be. 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  49 

And  he  said:  "Take  Brok  and  build  a  huge 
and  solemn  funeral  fire  and  burn  him  with  all 
proper  respect  on  the  top  of  it.  As  for  his  wife 
and  family,  they  may  choose  whether  they  will 
be  burnt  with  him  or  not.  I  want  them  to 
please  themselves.  For  the  rest,  everything 
that  was  Brok's  is,  of  course,  mine;  and  after 
we  have  given  him  a  splendid  funeral  and  Fum 
has  sung  a  funeral  song  to  last  over  three  days, 
then  I  shall  ascend  the  granite  throne  and  we 
will  rejoice  for  a  month,  and  eat  and  drink 
day  and  night  until  we  nearly  burst  ourselves. 
And  after  that  we  shall  want  some  hard  work 
and  exercise,  so  I  shall  lead  you  against  the 
enemy." 

The  businesslike  way  in  which  Phutt  made 
all  these  arrangements  impressed  everybody. 

He  seemed  to  calm  down  again  after  poor 
Brok  was  burnt,  and  he  insisted  on  a  magnifi- 
cent grave  being  built  for  the  late  chief's  ashes ; 
but  it  was  put  up  miles  and  miles  away  from 
Grimspound;  because,  if  there  is  one  thing  a 
New  Stoner  is  horribly  frightened  of,  it  is  a 


50  THE  FLINT  HEART 

ghost;  so  when  anybody  had  the  misfortune  to 
die  suddenly — as  generally  happened — he  was 
taken  far  away  to  be  buried  or  burnt,  in  order 
that  his  ghost  might  get  lost  in  the  middle  of 
the  Moor  and  not  by  any  evil  chance  find  the 
way  back  to  his  old  home. 

So  Phutt  reigned  in  place  of  Brok ;  and  I  am 
not  going  to  tell  you  any  of  the  things  that  he 
did,  because  they  were  exceedingly  horrid  as  a 
rule.  He  won  all  his  battles  and  always  had 
his  own  way,  and  the  people  hated  the  ground 
he  walked  on,  and  did  everything  he  told  them 
instantly,  because  he  never  spoke  twice.  He 
defeated  all  the  neighbouring  tribes,  and  those 
he  didn't  kill  he  took  for  slaves.  Poor  Mrs. 
Phutt  couldn't  stand  it,  so  she  died.  She  was 
a  nice  sensible  woman,  though  not  equal  to  the 
glory  of  being  a  chief's  wife.  In  fact,  the 
grandeur  killed  her,  and  also  the  sorrow  of 
knowing  what  people  really  thought  of  Phutt 
behind  his  enormous  back.  But  he  didn't 
care.  He  didn't  even  go  into  mourning.  He 
married  twenty-seven  more  wives  and  bullied 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  51 

them  all.  Among  other  things  that  he  did  was 
to  destroy  all  the  Bugaboos  but  one,  which  he 
kept  on  a  chain  to  frighten  the  children.  He 
also  made  several  new  roads,  and  invented  a 
new  chimney  that  prevented  the  huts  of  his 
town  from  being  full  of  smoke  when  the  wind 
was  in  the  west — which  it  generally  was.  And 
he  caused  his  tribe  to  become  the  fiercest  and 
most  cruel,  and  most  powerful  tribe  on  Dart- 
moor. And  whenever  he  had  a  birthday,  which 
was  about  once  a  fortnight,  he  made  the  people 
set  up  a  huge  stone  in  his  honour.  And  many 
of  these  stones  are  still  standing  on  Dartmoor, 
so  you  will  see  them  when  you  go  there. 

Yet,  despite  the  fact  that  he  had  made  them 
so  strong  and  terrible;  despite  the  fact  that 
everybody  had  sheep  and  cattle  and  skins  and 
luxuries;  despite  the  fact  that  he  was  the  first 
New  Stoner  who  broke  soil  and  planted  seed  in 
it;  despite  the  fact  that  he  was  the  first  New 
Stoner  to  invent  a  sling  and  hurl  stones  at  the 
enemy;  despite  the  fact  that  he  patented  a 
splendid  trap  for  wolves,  and  arranged  an 


52  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Empire  Day,  and  made  the  little  New  Stoners 
all  walk  two  and  two  singing  about  the  size  of 
the  dominions  of  Phutt  and  the  blessing  of  liv- 
•ing  under  Phutt,  and  the  importance  of  binding 
the  outlying  districts  to  the  main  camp,  and 
such  like — despite  all  these  facts,  nobody  liked 
him,  because  he  ruled  entirely  by  fear.  And  to 
be  always  frightened  is  a  bad  thing  and  gets 
on  people's  nerves  after  a  time.  And  they 
never,  never  really  care  for  the  person  who 
treats  them  so,  however  great  and  grand  and 
clever  he  may  be. 

Fum  had  always  to  be  making  poetry  in  his 
old  age,  and  it  bored  him  a  good  deal  some- 
times; but  with  practice  even  Empire  Day 
poetry  came  pretty  easy  to  him;  which  was 
lucky,  for  he  had  to  invent  thousands  of  poems 
on  that  subject. 

But,  despite  all  his  splendour,  Phutt  was  a 
cloudy  and  careworn  man.  He  looked  back 
sometimes  to  the  days  when  he  had  a  soft  heart. 
But  I  don't  honestly  think  he  ever  wanted  to  go 
back.  At  any  rate,  he  stuck  tight  to  his  ter- 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  53 

rible  charm,  and  when  he  began  to  grow  old  he 
decided  that  no  future  chief  of  his  clan  would 
ever  get  on  without  it.  So  he  made  Fum 
promise  to  hand  the  Flint  Heart  to  a  certain 
young  warrior — his  own  grandson,  in  fact — 
who  was  to  succeed  him. 

And  Fum  promised,  but  he  did  not  keep  his 
word.  He  was,  of  course,  frightfully  old  him- 
self now,  and  would  have  been  dead  and  buried 
ages  ago  but  for  the  fact  of  being  a  mystery 
man.  A  mystery  man  cannot  die  under  two 
hundred  years,  and  if  he  is  careful  and  doesn't 
go  out  at  night  and  only  eats  rice-pudding  and 
mutton-chops,  he  may  live  to  be  five  hundred. 
At  any  rate,  Fum  told  a  lie,  and  I  am  the  last  to 
excuse  him  for  that.  Instead  of  handing  the 
Flint  Heart  to  the  new  chief  when  Phutt  closed 
his  eyes  and  passed  away,  he  buried  it  with 
Phutt;  because  you  see  he  knew  only  too  well 
what  it  meant,  and  he  felt  that  the  tribe  had 
now  reached  a  point  when  it  could  get  on  with- 
out quite  such  a  harsh  and  stern  man  as  Phutt 
to  lead  it. 


54  THE  FLINT  HEART 

'  'King  hearts  are  more  than  coronets/ ' 
said  Fum  to  himself — quoting  Tennyson, 
funnily  enough.  "Anyway,  I'll  take  what 
risk  there  is  and  bury  the  charm  with  him. 
And  if  the  Thunder  Spirit  makes  a  fuss  and 
burns  me  up — well,  really  I  don't  much  mind. 
I've  lived  a  very  interesting  life,  and  I  shall 
escape  having  to  write  any  more  Empire 
poetry.  In  fact,  nothing  is  so  bad  but  that  it 
might  be  worse." 

So  after  they  had  burnt  Phutt — for  he  de- 
cided before  he  died  that  he  would  be  burnt  and 
then  buried — Fum  dropped  the  Flint  Heart 
privately  into  his  ashes.  And  Phutt  slept 
under  the  heather,  and  the  finest  thing  in  cairns 
that  you  can  well  imagine  was  erected  over  him. 
And  everybody  hoped  with  all  their  might  that 
Phutt's  ghost  would  keep  quiet  and  not  come 
worrying  round  Grimspound  afterwards  on 
moonshiny  nights. 

And  the  Thunder  Spirit  did  nothing,  for  he 
was  busy  somewhere  else  at  the  critical  mo- 


THE  REIGN  OF  PHUTT  55 

ment;  so  Fum  had  to  make  up  more  Empire 
poetry  after  all.  But  his  magnum  opus,  or 
masterpiece,  which  would  have  been  the  "Saga 
of  Phutt,"  in  three  hundred  and  seventy  verses, 
he  did  not  live  to  finish.  He  had  learned  and 
committed  to  his  amazing  memory  two  hundred 
and  fourteen  verses  when  there  came  a  dread- 
ful and  fatal  incursion  of  a  tribe  from  Cosdon 
Beacon,  on  the  north  side  of  Dartmoor.  They 
fell  upon  Grimspound  by  night,  and  because  the 
new  chief  was  an  intelligent  New  Stoner  who 
didn't  like  bloodshed,  and  believed  that  it  was 
better  far  to  rule  by  love  than  fear,  and  was,  in 
fact,  several  thousand  years  ahead  of  his  time, 
therefore  he  and  his  folk  had  to  pay  the  usual 
penalty  of  being  so  much  wiser  than  everybody 
else.  In  fact,  they  all  perished  and  Grims- 
pound ran  streams  of  gore,  and  the  scene  was 
such  that  I  hate  even  to  think  of  it,  and  won't 
write  a  word  more  about  it.  Then  the  con- 
quering tribe  started  their  Empire  Day,  and 
made  their  tinkling  rhymes ;  and  in  their  turn, 


56  THE  FLINT  HEART 

after  many  years,  gave  place  to  other  and 
stronger  people,  according  to  the  way  of  things 
that  changes  never. 

And  now  we  drop  the  curtain  for  a  moment, 
and  alter  the  scenery  a  little  and  give  the  Moor 
time  to  rest  and  get  over  all  those  fearful 
troubles  that  Grimspound  has  seen.  The  first 
act  of  the  story  of  the  Flint  Heart  is  ended,  and, 
since  there  is  an  interval  of  five  thousand  years 
between  the  first  act  and  the  second,  there 
ought  to  be  plenty  of  time  for  you  to  have  a 
sponge-cake  and  a  glass  of  ginger-beer,  if  not  a 
whole  Christmas  dinner,  before  we  go  on  again. 


CHAPTER  IV 

MERRIPIT    FARM 

A  place  like  Dartmoor  doesn't  change  in  a 
hurry,  but  thousands  and  thousands  of  years 
leave  a  mark  even  there ;  and  now  you  will  find, 
after  all  this  time  has  passed,  that  it  looks 
rather  different.  The  village  of  Grimspound  is 
deserted;  the  beehive  roofs  are  gone  and  only 
the  stones  remain.  The  men  and  women  and 
children,  the  dogs  and  cattle  and  fierce  beasts, 
have  all  vanished.  The  walls  of  the  city  are 
broken  and  shattered.  The  stream  that  ran 
through  the  midst  of  it  has  nearly  dried  up,  and 
heather  and  brake-fern  and  whortleberries  and 
rushes  and  sedges  and  grass  fill  the  homes  of 
the  old  New  Stoners.  Over  the  mighty  cairn 
where  Phutt  was  buried  on  Fur  Tor  grows  a 
great  mound  of  gorse,  and,  as  you  would 
expect,  it  is  the  toughest  and  prickliest  gorse  on 

57 


58  THE  FLINT  HEART 

the  whole  of  Dartmoor;  because  its  roots  are 
down  in  the  dust  of  that  tough  and  prickly  hero. 

And  now  I'll  surprise  you.  Though  all 
these  thousands  and  thousands  of  years  have 
passed,  two  of  the  principal  characters  in  the 
story  are  still  as  lively  as  ever.  One  is  the 
Thunder  Spirit,  who  roars  and  rattles  about  on 
Dartmoor  just  as  he  used  to  do  in  the  good  old 
New  Stone  days;  and  the  other  is  the  Flint 
Heart.  You  see  the  Heart  was  buried  with 
Phutt,  to  keep  it  out  of  mischief,  and  it  has 
kept  out  of  mischief  ever  since;  but  unluckily 
it  has  not  turned  into  dust,  as  Phutt  did.  In 
fact,  if  you  should  ask  it  how  it  is,  it  might 
answer  "Doing  quite  nicely,  thank  you,  and 
thoroughly  rested  and  perfectly  ready  to  begin 
business  at  once !" 

And  now,  if  you  look  round,  you  will  find 
that  a  new  order  of  things  has  begun  on  Dart- 
moor. In  the  low  places,  or  snug  spots 
sheltered  under  the  hills  and  besides  the  spark- 
ling rivers,  many  a  house,  such  as  you  are  ac- 
customed to  see,  has  sprung  up.  There  are 


MERRIPIT  FARM  59 

farms  and  cottages,  and  even  the  pigs  and  cows 
have  much  better  dwellings  than  the  New 
Stoners  were  wont  to  live  in. 

One  of  those  houses  is  called  Merripit  Farm, 
and  it  lies  in  the  great  valley  under  Merripit 
Hill,  a  few  miles  from  poor  old  ruined  Grims- 
pound.  There  are  a  good  many  other  farms 
in  this  valley;  but  long  before  men  found  the 
place  the  pixies  discovered  it. 

Pixies,  of  course,  are  the  same  as  fairies,  and 
their  first  cousins  are  the  brownies  and  the 
elves,  and  the  kobolds  and  the  trolls,  and 
the  fays  and  the  sylphs,  and  the  sprites  and  the 
gnomes ;  and  the  second  cousins  are  the  bogies 
and  the  bogles,  the  flibbertigibbits  and  the 
deevs,  the  urchins  and  the  dwarfs,  and  the 
dwergers  and  the  pigwidgeons  and  the  Pucks, 
and  the  Will-o'-the-wisps  and  the  Jack-o'- 
lanterns  and  the  Jacky-toads  and  the  imps ;  and 
their  water-cousins  are  the  Nereids  and  mer- 
men and  mer-girls  and  mer-boys,  and  the 
naiads  and  the  kelpies  and  the  nixies;  and 
their  third  cousins — twenty  times  removed, 


60  THE  FLINT  HEART 

I  am  glad  to  say — are  the  spooks  and  the 
banshees,  and  the  goblins  and  the  hobgoblins, 
and  the  hobble-godlins  and  the  hobblebob- 
ble-goblins,  and  the  wraiths  and  the  wisht- 
nesses,  and  the  cacodemons  and  the  furies,  and 
the  harpies  and  the  succubus  and  the  succuba, 
and  the  fiends  of  the  air  and  the  earth  and 
the  water,  and  the  vampires  and  the  ghouls, 
and  the  afrits  and  ogres  and  ogresses.  And  if 
you  don't  believe  in  these  folk,  I  can  only  say 
that  you  are  making  a  mistake  and  you'll  live 
to  find  it  out  sooner  or  later.  All  the  very  best 
people,  including  Mr.  Stead  and  Sir  Oliver 
Lodge,  believe  in  spooks,  if  they  don't  believe  in 
the  other  things ;  and  it  seems  to  me  both  un- 
kind and  silly  to  make  such  a  fuss  about  the 
spooks  and  write  whole  books  about  them  and 
take  no  notice  of  all  the  others.  As  for  me,  I 
know  Dartmoor  pretty  well,  and  I  believe  in 
everything  that  happens  there.  I  have  seen  a 
Jack-o'-lantern  with  my  own  eyes,  and  I  can't 
say  more  than  that.  And  not  to  believe  in 
Devonshire  pixies — well,  you  might  just  as  well 


MERRIPIT  FARM  61 

not  believe  in  Devonshire  cream  or  Devonshire 
mud,  or  any  other  of  the  fine  things  that  belong 
to  Devonshire.  And,  besides  all  these  argu- 
ments to  prove  that  there  are  such  things,  this 
story  will  be  full  of  pixies  in  a  moment;  so 
that's  proof  positive  and  an  end  of  the  matter. 
And  the  boy  or  girl  who  still  holds  out,  and 
says  that  he  or  she  does  not  believe  in  them,  had 
better  be  sent  to  bed  at  once ;  and  if  he  doesn't 
get  his  nose  pinched  blue  before  the  morning, 
or  if  she  doesn't  find  her  hair  in  a  proper  tangle 
when  the  time  comes  for  combing  it  to-morrow, 
I  shall  be  a  good  deal  surprised. 

But  now  we  must  go  to  Merripit  Farm ;  and 
the  first  thing  you'll  see  there  is  a  rough  ridic- 
ulous dog  without  a  tail  and  with  his  hair  all 
down  over  his  blue  eyes.  He  is  an  old  English 
sheep-dog,  and  he  looks  as  much  like  a  monkey 
as  a  dog.  But  he  means  well,  and  he  has 
brains  in  his  head  and  knows  a  good  many 
things  you  don't  and  never  will,  and  can  do 
a  good  many  things  you  can't  and  never  can. 
And  he  believes  in  the  pixies  with  all  his  might, 


62  THE  FLINT  HEART 

and  would  no  more  give  up  believing  in  them 
than  he  would  give  up  a  bone  if  he  had  the  luck 
to  find  one. 

Here  comes  his  master — a  very  big  man, 
you  see — with  a  red  neck  and  pale  hair,  and  a 
fat,  clean-shaved,  good-natured  face.  He  is 
called  Billy  Jago,  and  his  wife  is  called  Sally 
Jago,  and  his  children  are  called  John  and 
Mary  and  Teddy  and  Frank  and  Charles  anc[ 
Sarah  and  Jane  and  Unity;  and  his  baby  is 
called  Dicky,  and  his  dog  is  called  Ship. 

John  and  Mary  and  Sarah  and  Jane  are 
very  brown,  and  their  eyes  are  brown,  too,  like 
their  mother's;  and  Charles  and  Teddy  and 
Frank  and  Unity  are  fair,  with  yellow  hair 
and  grey  eyes,  like  their  father's ;  and  the  baby, 
Dicky,  has  struck  out  a  new  idea  of  his  own, 
and  his  eyes  are  as  blue  as  the  sky  in  August 
and  his  hair  is  as  red  as  the  brake-fern  when 
winter  comes.  You  see  them  all  looking 
rather  smart,  because  it  is  Sunday,  and  they 
have  got  their  best  clothes  on.  John  is  eighteen 
and  quite  grown  up,  so  his  clothes  are  not  inter- 


MERRIPIT  FARM  63 

esting;  but  Mary  has  on  a  plum-coloured 
dress  with  a  red  bow  in  her  hair  and  a  clean 
pinafore;  and  Teddy  wears  a  knickerbocker 
suit  made  out  of  green  cloth,  with  a  red  tie; 
and  Frank  is  dressed  just  the  same. 
Charles  has  a  grey  suit  with  a  yellow  tie 
and  a  Scotch  cap,  which  is  his  great  joy;  and 
Sarah  and  Jane  are  clothed  alike  in  dark- 
blue  dresses  with  light-blue  bows  and  white 
stockings;  and  as  for  Unity,  she  has  Sarah's 
last  year's  dress  cut  down,  so  she  doesn't 
really  count  yet.  Besides  she  is  only  five,  and 
nobody  gets  very  exciting  till  they  grow  rather 
older  than  that.  Of  course  I  don't  mean  by 
this  that  it  is  not  a  very  right  and  proper 
thing  to  be  five.  All  the  most  successful  and 
pleasant  people  in  the  world  have  been  five 
once,  and  even  three,  and  two.  There  is 
nothing  to  be  ashamed  of  in  being  five;  but 
if  that  is  the  case  with  you,  you  must  choose 
your  friends  either  among  other  people  of  five 
or  among  people  who  are  over  fifty.  And  if 
you  feel  a  doubt  about  the  age  you  have  only 


64  THE  FLINT  HEART 

to  ask,  and  if  the  people  you  want  to  know 
also  want  to  know  you,  they  will  instantly  de- 
clare they  are  five  or  fifty,  as  the  case  may  be. 

The  Sunday  dinner  at  Merripit  Farm  was  a 
very  good  one  indeed.  It  began  with  a  goose, 
went  on  to  a  plum-pudding  and  mince-pies,  and 
finished  up  with  ten  oranges  and  ten  sticks  of 
the  best  milk  chocolate  and  ten  little  puppets 
made  to  represent  Father  Christmas.  Their 
heads  screwed  off  quite  simply,  and  they  were 
full  of  mixed  sweets. 

You  will  naturally  be  rather  surprised  at 
such  a  noble  meal.  But  I  must  tell  you  that 
it  was  Christmas  Day  as  well  as  Sunday,  and 
the  young  Jagos  had  been  expecting  this  fine 
feed  for  twelve  months — ever  since  last 
Christmas  Day,  in  fact.  They  all  ate  too 
much,  I'm  sorry  to  say — all  but  Charles  and 
Unity  and  the  baby.  But  there  was  a  differ- 
ence between  them,  because  Charles  and 
Unity  stopped  quite  of  their  own  accord,  and 
the  baby  would  have  been  eating  still,  only  his 
mother  took  him  to  bed. 


MERRIPIT  FARM  65 

These  children  were  all  very  interesting  and 
all  very  different.  John  was  grown  up,  as  I 
mentioned  before,  and  he  was  going  to  be  a 
farmer  like  his  father.  Mary  was  fifteen,  and 
she  helped  her  mother  and  sang  songs  rather 
nicely.  Teddy  was  not  particularly  gifted, 
but  he  could  catch  trout  in  the  streams  better 
than  any  of  the  rest  of  the  family,  and  that 
was  his  strong  point.  Frank  could  imitate 
the  noise  of  ducks  and  turkeys  and  fowls — not 
that  that  was  much  use.  Charles  was  the 
reader,  and  I  believe  he  had  more  brains  than 
any  of  them,  though  nobody  took  him  very 
seriously  except  Unity  and  the  baby.  Sarah 
and  Jane  were  twins,  and  thought  alike,  and 
did  the  same  things,  and  were  naughty  to- 
gether, and  good  together,  and  had  colds  in 
their  noses  together,  and  got  mumps  together, 
and  were  lost  together  on  the  Moor  once  for 
nearly  two  days,  which  was  the  finest  thing  they 
had  so  far  done,  and  they  were  rescued  to- 
gether and  shared  the  fame  of  it.  Unity  had 
made  no  great  mark  in  history  so  far,  but  she 


66  THE  FLINT  HEART 

was  the  prettiest  of  them  all,  and  she  always 
put  me  in  mind  of  a  little  white  ragged-robin 
that  had  just  suddenly  come  out  by  the  river, 
and  was  looking  round  it  with  much  surprise  at 
the  extraordinary  world  into  which  she  had 
budded  and  bloomed.  Unity,  in  fact,  was 
always  ragged  and  always  surprised.  On 
Sundays  she  was  not  ragged,  but  she  made 
up  for  that  by  going  to  church  and  being  more 
surprised  than  ever.  And  she  began  every 
sentence  with  "I  wonder";  and  she  was  quite 
right  and  quite  wise  to  be  so  much  astonished 
at  things  in  general,  because  everybody  ought 
to  be  astonished  at  pretty  nearly  everything 
that  happens  when  they  are  five.  The  age 
when  nothing  astonishes  you  is  eighteen;  but 
after  that,  as  you  grow  older  and  older,  things 
gradually  begin  to  astonish  you  again,  until 
when  you  get  quite  old — say  from  forty  to  a 
hundred — much  that  happens  will  amaze  you, 
and  you'll  find  the  world  as  puzzling  and  won- 
derful at  the  end  as  you  did  at  the  beginning. 
But  eighteen  is  the  grand  age,  and  remember 


Charles  was  staring  at  his  father 


MERRIPIT  FARM  67 

never  to  be  astonished  when  you  reach  it. 
John  Jago  was  eighteen,  and  he  was  grown 
up,  and  he  never  was  astonished — not  even 
when,  in  the  middle  of  the  Christmas  dinner, 
his  father  said  a  very  astonishing  thing. 

What  it  was  and  what  came  of  it  you  shall 
hear  in  the  next  chapter. 


CHAPTER  V 

THE  FLINT  HEART  GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN 

"Up  along  by  Fur  Tor,  when  I  was  riding 
the  pony  over  and  having  a  look  for  the  foal 
Nat  Slocombe  have  lost,  I  failed  in  with  a 
foreigner/'  said  Mr.  Jago. 

When  he  said  "foreigner,"  he  didn't  mean 
what  you  mean.  He  was  not  speaking  of  a 
Frenchman  or  a  Russian,  a  negro  or  an  Indian. 
He  merely  meant  a  stranger.  The  "foreigner" 
very  likely  had  only  come  from  some  town  a 
few  miles  off.  In  this  case,  however,  he  had 
come  from  rather  a  long  way  off,  for  he  lived 
in  London  and  was  a  very  clever  man. 

"Yes,"  continued  Mr.  Jago,  "a  lean  slip  of 
a  chap,  long  in  the  legs  wi'  a  learned-looking 
nose,  built  for  poking  into  things.  And  he'm 
terrible  interested  in  they  old  roundy-pound- 
ies  up  to  Grimspound,  and  the  old  stones 

68 


6g 

that  the  old  men  heaved  up  and  stuck  all  over 
the  Moor;  and  he've  offered  me  ten  pound — 
ten  pound! — if  I'll  do  a  job  for  him  up  'pon 
top  of  Fur  Tor." 

"Ten  pound,  father!"  cried  Mrs.  Jago;  and 
all  the  little  Jagos  also  cried  "Ten  pound, 
father!" 

All  except  John,  who  was  grown  up;  and, 
of  course,  he  was  not  astonished  at  anything, 
owing  to  his  age. 

"Yes,"  declared  Mr.  Jago;  "but  I'm  very 
much  afraid  he  might  as  easy  and  safely  have 
offered  a  hundred,  for  'tis  doubtful  whether 
I  can  do  it.  In  a  word,  he  says  there  ought 
to  be  bronze  hid  in  some  of  the  old  men's 
graves  about  'pon  the  Moor.  And  if  so  be  as 
I  dig  up  a  bit  here,  there,  or  anywhere,  he'll 
give  me  the  money." 

"  'Tis  a  wild  goose  chase,"  said  Mrs.  Jago, 
"and  well  you  know  it.  The  last  learned  fool 
as  corned  up  here  spent  six  months  digging 
and  delving,  and  what  did  he  find?  Some 
ashes,  and  a  few  odd  bits  of  cracked  cloam,  and 


70  THE  FLINT  HEART 

three  amber  beads,  the  like  of  which  he  might 
have  bought  to  Plymouth  for  two  pence.  You 
mind  your  own  business,  Billy.  Us'll  hear  you 
•be  going  to  dig  at  a  rainbow  foot  for  rainbow 
gold  next.  And  I  lay  this  here  gentleman's 
gold  be  rainbow  gold  and  no  better." 

"What's  rainbow  gold,  mother?"  asked 
Charles.  He  was  the  only  one  of  the  young 
Jagos  who  ever  asked  questions,  but  he  asked 
a  great  many  more  than  his  parents  could 
answer. 

"It's  stuff  and  nonsense,"  said  Mrs.  Jago, 
"that's  what  it  is." 

"The  gentleman's  name  be  Nicodemus  Nes- 
tor Frodsham  Perke,  F.R.S.,  British  Museum," 
said  Mr.  Jago.  He  read  a  card  that  he  had 
drawn  out  of  his  pocket. 

"Well,  let  him  go  and  perk  somewhere  else," 
said  Mrs.  Jago.  "Us  haven't  got  no  use  for 
him." 

If  she  had  known  what  a  terrifically  great 
swell  Professor  Nicodemus  Nestor  Frodsham 
Perke  was,  I  don't  suppose  that  Mrs.  Jago 


GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN          71 

would  have  said  this  rather  rude  and  silly 
thing ;  but  few  were  more  learned  than  he,  and 
he  had  written  a  long  book  about  the  New 
Stone  Age,  where  this  story  began,  and  the 
Bronze  Age  that  followed  it;  and  in  this  re- 
markable book  he  had  proved  that  there  must 
be  bronze  hidden  in  the  old  graves  on  Dart- 
moor. Which  shows  you  what  a  jolly  clever 
man  he  was;  because  a  common  man  would 
have  waited  till  somebody  found  the  bronze 
and  then  gone  on  with  his  book  afterwards; 
but  Professor  Perke  would  have  thought  that 
stupid.  So  he  discovered  the  bronze  in  his 
book  first  and  then  went  down  to  find  it  on 
Dartmoor  afterwards.  He  felt  sure  that  his 
book  must  be  right,  and  though  other  profes- 
sors, with  noses  even  sharper  than  his,  had 
said  unkind  things  about  the  book  and  declared 
there  was  no  bronze  on  Dartmoor,  yet  many 
people  felt  that  it  was  perfectly  absurd  to  sup- 
pose a  book  that  had  taken  a  wise  man  five 
years  to  write,  and  had  two  hundred  and  twenty 
pictures  and  one  thousand  and  six  pages,  not 


72  THE  FLINT  HEART 

to  mention  the  appendix,  could  possibly  be 
wrong.  So  sensible  people  all  agreed  with  the 
great  and  learned  professor  that  if  there 
wasn't  any  bronze  hidden  on  Dartmoor,  some- 
body was  very  much  to  blame  for  it. 

"Of  course,  I  ban't  a-going  to  waste  my 
time  with  the  man,"  explained  Mr.  Jago ;  "but 
as  to-morrow's  a  holiday  and  there's  nought 
for  me  to  do,  I  shall  just  help  him  a  bit.  That 
old  grave  as  he've  found  under  Fur  Tor  have 
never  been  broke  open  by  the  look  of  it,  and 
nobody  but  him  would  have  found  it,  for  'tis 
right  in  the  midst  of  the  prickliest  fuzz-bush 
as  ever  I  corned  across.  But  to-morrow  I  be 
going  to  break  it  open — just  for  to  see  if  any- 
thing be  there.  And  no  harm's  done  since 
the  day  be  a  holiday." 

"More  fool  you,"  said  Mrs.  Jago. 

But  when  the  next  day  came  Mr.  Billy  put  on 
his  working  clothes  and  went,  and  Charles 
went  with  him  to  help  carry  his  furse-hook 
and  pick  and  spade  and  basket,  and  Ship  went 
with  them  to  have  a  bit  of  sport,  for  he  was 


GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN          73 

a  hard-working  dog  and  enjoyed  a  holiday  as 
much  as  anybody  when  he  got  one. 

They  reached  the  spot,  but  the  Professor  was 
not  there.  As  a  matter  of  fact  he  had  sat  down 
two  miles  off  to  rest,  and  been  so  much  inter- 
ested in  his  great  and  wonderful  thoughts  that 
he  had  quite  forgotten  to  rise  again.  He  had 
suddenly  struck  upon  quite  a  new  way  of  ex- 
plaining Dartmoor,  and  why  Dartmoor  was 
Dartmoor,  and  where  it  had  come  from,  and 
what  it  looked  like  millions  of  years  ago — long, 
long  before  even  the  New  Stoners  had  arrived 
upon  it.  Which  subject  so  much  interested 
Professor  Perke,  that  he  sat  there  and  filled 
three  notebooks  with  wonderful  ideas;  and 
then  suddenly  he  sneezed  forty-two  times  run- 
ning, and  found  that  he  had  got  the  worst  cold 
he  had  ever  had  in  his  life.  So  he  thrust  the 
notebooks  into  his  pockets,  and  went  to  the 
farm  where  he  was  lodging,  and  put  his  feet 
into  hot  water  and  mustard,  and  tallowed  his 
nose,  and  took  a  favourite  medicine  of  his,  and 
then  retired  to  bed  and  stopped  there  for 


74  THE  FLINT  HEART 

three  days.  All  that  time  he  never  once 
thought  of  Mr.  Jago;  but  it  didn't  much 
matter,  because  Mr.  Jago  never  once  thought 
of  him. 

What  really  did  happen  was  this:  Charles 
and  his  father  and  Ship  arrived  at  the  old 
cairn,  and,  little  knowing  that  one  of  the  most 
famous  men  who  had  ever  been  a  great  and 
powerful  and  terrible  chief  in  the  old  days 
was  buried  beneath  it,  cut  down  the  furzes,  and 
hacked  away  the  peat  and  heather,  and  threw 
open  the  tomb  as  if  they  were  merely  dig- 
ging potatoes.  It  was  the  grave  of  the 
great  Phutt  that  they  opened,  and,  of  course, 
they  found  no  bronze  there,  because,  as  you 
may  remember,  Phutt  was  a  New  Stone  man, 
and  he  passed  away  some  years  before  the 
arrival  of  the  first  pin  on  Dartmoor.  So  Billy 
Jago  found  no  bronze  in  the  grave  of  Phutt; 
in  fact,  I  was  going  to  say  he  found  nothing 
at  all,  and  it  is  a  pity  for  him  that  I  cannot  do 
so;  but  something  he  did  find,  and  he  picked 
it  up  and  put  it  in  his  pocket. 


GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN          75 

"The  gentleman  might  like  this  here  funny 
old  stone,"  he  said. 

"  'Tis  a  piece  of  flint,  father,"  declared 
Charles. 

"Of  course  'tis — any  fool  can  see  that," 
answered  his  father;  and  he  spoke  so  roughly 
that  Charles  felt  much  astonished,  and  started 
away  from  him.  Because  Billy  Jago,  as  a  rule, 
was  the  kindest  father  that  ever  loved  a  parcel 
of  boys  and  girls;  and  it  amazed  his  son  to 
hear  this  sharp  word.  But  if  he  had  known 
half  as  much  as  you  know,  he  would  not  have 
been  amazed  at  all. 

What  had  happened  was  this:  Billy  Jago 
was  carrying  the  Flint  Heart  in  his  waistcoat 
pocket,  and  the  charm,  after  such  a  long  rest, 
felt  bubbling  over  with  wickedness,  and  was 
delighted  to  get  to  work  again  without  the 
least  delay. 

If  Charles  had  chanced  to  look  south- 
south  by  west  at  that  moment,  he  would  have 
seen  the  Thunder  Spirit  laughing  over  the 
edge  of  a  black  cloud ;  but  he  was  staring  at  his 


76  THE  FLINT  HEART 

father,  and  so  missed  the  sight.  As  for  Billy, 
he  loaded  his  pipe,  lighted  it,  and  then  turned 
to  Charles. 

"Pick  up  the  tools  and  carry  'em  home,"  he 
ordered. 

"All  of  them,  father !"  cried  Charles. 

"Yes,  all  of  'em.  You  heard  what  I  said. 
You  ain't  deaf,  are  you  ?" 

His  father  strode  off,  and  Charles  stood 
almost  as  still  as  the  granite  stones  of  Phutt's 
grave.  He  had  never  been  so  much  surprised 
in  his  life,  and  presently  his  astonishment 
turned  into  grief.  He  cried  a  little,  for  he  was 
only  twelve  and  he  loved  his  father  exceedingly. 
Then  he  dried  his  eyes,  got  the  tools  together, 
and  found  that  he  could  just  carry  them.  So 
he  whistled  to  Ship,  and  together  the  dog  and 
the  boy  started  for  home. 

But  long  before  they  got  there,  Charles  felt 
the  weight  of  the  tools  was  more  than  he  could 
bear,  and  Ship,  who  happened  to  be  a  very 
observant  dog,  noticed  his  difficulty,  so  he 


GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN  77 

caught  the  pick  in  his  teeth  and  dragged  it 
along  to  help  Charles. 

Progress  was  slow,  and  it  had  grown  dark 
before  they  got  home  to  Merripit;  but  it  could 
not  be  called  "Merry"  any  more,  for  the  Flint 
Heart  had  arrived  and  set  to  work  at  once. 
When  Charles  came  in,  he  found  his  mother 
in  a  fearful  rage,  walking  up  and  down  the 
kitchen ;  and  John,  who  was  grown  up,  sat  by 
the  fire  nursing  a  black  eye  and  trying  not  to 
look  astonished;  and  Mary  was  getting  the 
twins  into  bed ;  and  Teddy  was  under  the  table 
shivering  with  fear;  and  Frank  was  hiding 
behind  the  settle ;  and  Unity  was  merely  won- 
dering ;  and  the  baby  was  sound  asleep. 

His  mother  turned  to  Charles  at  once  and 
began  to  question  him. 

"All  along  of  that  wretch  of  a  man — no 
doubt,"  she  said.  "I  suppose  he've  made  his 
ten  pounds,  and  now  he  feels  too  grand  and 
fine  for  his  own  home  and  his  wife  and 
childer." 


78  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Do  please  give  me  something  to  eat,"  said 
Charles.  "I'm  terrible  hungry,  and  father 
left  me  to  drag  home  all  the  tools,  and  but  for 
Ship  here,  who  helped,  and  who's  terrible 
hungry  too,  I  should  never  have  fetched  'em 
all  back." 

"Who  was  this  here  man?"  asked  his 
mother,  while  she  got  Charles  something  to 
eat.  "I  should  think  'twas  Old  Scrat  himself 
from  the  way  your  father's  going  on.  He's 
bewitched  and  overlooked  by  the  evil  eye — so 
sure  as  I'm  alive." 

"Nobody  came  near  us,"  explained  Charles 
with  his  mouth  full.  "We  dug  and  dug,  and 
found  nought  but  a  bit  of  flint  with  a  hole  in  it. 
And  then,  so  sudden  as  a  flash  of  lightning,  fa- 
ther turned  on  me  and  spoke  as  never  he  spoke 
afore,  and  ordered  me  to  bring  home  the  tools, 
and  went  off  without  me.  And,  by  the  looks 
of  you  all,  he  wasn't  no  better  when  he  got 
back." 

Teddy  spoke  and  told  Charles  what  had 
happened. 


GETS  TO  WORK  AGAIN          79 

"He  corned  in  shouting  out  for  his  dinner, 
and  when  mother  said  'twasn't  ready,  he  said 
it  ought  to  be,  and  John  stood  up  for  mother, 
and  father  knocked  him  edgewise  over  the 
fender,  and  just  look  at  John's  eye!  And  I 
hooked  it  after  that,  and  so  did  Frank,  for  we 
thought  'twould  be  our  turn  next.  Then  he 
went  for  mother  again,  and  when  we  come 
back  they  was  having  a  pretty  set-to — wasn't 
you,  mother?" 

"I  doubt  he's  gone  mad — or  else  the  pixies 
are  playing  a  game  with  him,"  said  Charles. 

Then  Teddy  went  on : 

"But  as  a  rule  when  father  and  mother 
have  words,  mother  gets  the  best  of  it — don't 
you,  mother?  Only  this  time  father  got  the 
best  of  it.  And  he  ate  up  all  the  tid-bits  of 
the  dinner,  and  then  off  he  went,  because  he 
said  he  wanted  to  pluck  a  crow  with  Mr. 
French  down  in  the  valley.  He  said  he  didn't 
see  why  Mr.  French  should  be  the  leading  man 
in  Postbridge,  and  he  wasn't  going  to  stand 
it.  And  goodness  knows  what'll  happen  next." 


80  THE  FLINT  HEART 

At  that  moment  a  terrible  noise  broke  out 
down  by  the  garden  gate.  Men  were  shout- 
ing and  dogs  were  barking.  Then  there  was  a 
crash,  and  Ship  rushed  out  to  see  who  the  dogs 
were,  and  Charles  rushed  out  to  see  who  the 
men  were.  But  Mrs.  Jago  stopped  where  she 
was,  and  so  did  John,  who  was  grown  up,  and 
so  did  Mary  and  Teddy  and  Frank  and  Unity. 
They  had  been  so  much  terrified  already  that 
they  felt  it  did  not  much  matter  what  hap- 
pened. 

Mrs.  Jago  sighed,  and  John  asked  for  an- 
other piece  of  brown  paper  for  his  eye. 

Then  the  master  of  the  house  came  in,  and 
Charles  followed  him. 


CHAPTER  VI 

THE    MEETING 

Mr.  Jago  was  quite  pleased,  but  he  did  not 
show  pleasure  in  the  old  and  kindly  fashion; 
he  came  in  very  roughly  and  slapped  his  leg 
and  explained  that  he  had  done  a  good  stroke 
of  business. 

"Met  old  Bassett  going  down  the  road,  and 
I  offered  him  a  bit  more  for  that  field  of  his 
than  French  offered,  and  now  I've  got  thicky 
meadow  that  I've  been  wanting  this  many  a 
day.  I've  just  been  one  too  many  for  French ; 
and  when  I  met  him  I  told  him  what  I'd  done, 
and  he  got  in  a  proper  rage  and  hit  me,  and 
then  I  gave  him  one  on  the  head  and  rolled  him 
over  in  the  hedge !" 

After  explaining  all  this,  Mr.  Jago  called 
for  his  supper  and  behaved  roughly  and  un- 
kindly; but  he  did  not  strike  anybody,  and  he 

81 


82  THE  FLINT  HEART 

did  not  talk  to  anybody  but  John,  who  was 
grown  up,  and  also  had  two  black  eyes.  His 
father  seemed  quite  to  have  forgotten  that  he 
had  just  hurt  John  so  cruelly  with  his  fist,  and 
he  talked  about  the  future  as  if  he  and  John 
were  the  best  of  friends. 

"We'll  soon  wake  this  place  up!"  he  said. 
"Everybody's  asleep  here.  If  we  get  to  work 
and  harden  our  hearts  against  all  their  non- 
sense, we'll  come  out  at  the  top  of  them  all  by 
this  time  next  year.  I  know  how  to  get  the 
best  of  them,  and  I'm  going  to  do  it,  and  John's 
going  to  help." 

He  explained  to  John  a  number  of  horrid 
ideas  that  had  occurred  to  him.  They  were 
not  exactly  the  sort  of  ideas  that  occurred  to 
Phutt  when  he  owned  the  Flint  Heart,  be- 
cause the  world  had  moved  on  a  good  deal 
since  Phutt's  time;  and  among  other  things 
that  had  come  into  it  were  policemen. 

Policemen  have  quite  spoiled  a  good  many 
of  the  fine  and  dashing  deeds  people  used  to 
do,  because  they  interfere  and  march  you  off 


THE  MEETING  83 

to  prison ;  and  there's  nothing  in  the  least  fine 
or  dashing  about  being  locked  up.  But  Billy 
Jago  knew  that  there  were  policemen  and 
prisons,  and  he  had  no  wish  to  quarrel  with 
the  one  or  find  himself  in  the  other;  so  he 
planned  his  future  accordingly.  His  ideas 
were  quite  as  hard  and  cruel  as  Phutt's  ideas, 
only  instead  of  carrying  them  out  like  Phutt, 
and  knocking  people's  heads  off,  and  burning 
their  houses  down,  and  stealing  their  cattle,  he 
had  to  trust  to  cleverness  in  business  and  hard- 
ness in  all  his  dealings.  There  are  all  sorts 
of  dodges  in  business,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  and 
Billy  Jago,  who  was  once  such  an  honest  and 
straight  and  kind-hearted  man,  seemed  now 
not  only  to  have  learned  every  one  of  these 
abominable  dodges,  but  also  to  have  become 
horribly  clever  at  putting  them  into  practice. 
The  thing  that  puzzled  Mrs.  Jago  most  of  all 
was  to  know  how  and  where  her  husband  had 
picked  up  these  wicked  tricks.  And,  of  course, 
he  couldn't  tell  her  himself  because  he  didn't 
know.  But  you  and  I  know  only  too  well  that 


84  THE  FLINT  HEART 

it  was  Flint  Heart  that  taught  him.  And  men 
who  used  to  laugh  at  Billy  and  call  him  a  good- 
natured  fool  and  everybody's  friend,  laughed 
no  more.  Or  if  they  did,  it  was  on  the  wrong 
side  of  their  mouths.  And  laughing  on  the 
wrong  side  of  your  mouth  is  almost  as 
painful  as  having  a  tooth  out,  as  you  can 
easily  prove  if  you  care  to  try  it.  First  laugh 
on  the  right  side  of  your  mouth,  which  is  the 
side  you  always  laugh  upon;  then  turn  your 
laugh  over  carefully  with  your  tongue  to  the 
wrong  side,  and  you  will  find  it  hurt  like  any- 
thing. It  sounds  quite  different,  too,  when  you 
laugh  on  that  side. 

Time  passed,  and  Billy  began  to  be  a  marked 
man.  He  was  very  nearly  marked  in  a  way 
he  didn't  much  like,  for  an  enemy — he  had  a 
lot  of  enemies  now,  I  regret  to  say — hid  behind 
the  hedge  on  a  dark  night,  knowing  that  Billy 
must  pass  that  way;  and  when  he  came  along 
— whistling  and  very  pleased  with  himself 
over  a  good  stroke  of  business — the  enemy 
flung  a  brickbat  at  him  and  nearly  hit  him 


THE  MEETING  85 

on  the  head.  And  Mr.  Jago  heard  where  the 
brickbat  had  come  from,  and  he  jumped  into 
the  hedge,  and  for  once  in  a  way  behaved  ex- 
ceedingly like  Phutt,  and  thrashed  his  enemy 
until  the  man  wriggled  about,  like  a  worm  on 
a  hook,  and  yowled  for  mercy. 

But  in  his  home,  I'm  thankful  to  tell  you, 
Billy  gradually  grew  a  little  calmer.  Even 
the  charm  couldn't  keep  up  the  pressure  above 
a  certain  number  of  pounds  to  the  square  inch 
of  his  heart;  and  sometimes  Billy  relaxed  and 
laughed  among  his  children,  and  was  quite 
the  nice  old  amiable  father  he  had  been.  But 
these  good  moments  only  happened  very  oc- 
casionally when  the  Flint  Heart  was  tired,  and, 
between  them  he  behaved  in  a  fierce  and  harsh 
and  savage  manner. 

At  last  the  children  and  Ship  held  a  meet- 
ing about  it  in  the  wood-house,  and  Charles 
took  the  chair,  because  John  was  grown  up,  as 
I  think  I  told  you,  and  it  looked  as  though 
John  was  going  to  imitate  his  father. 

Charles   said:     "Brothers   and  sisters   and 


86  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Ship,  we  have  assembled  here  to  find  out  some 
way  to  make  father  nice  again  as  he  used  to 
be." 

And  all  the  children  answered,  "Hear,  hear !" 

Then  Ted  addressed  the  meeting,  and  he 
said :  "Father's  a  regular  right-down  beast." 

And  Charles  said:  "Order!  Order!  The 
question  before  the  meeting  is  how  to  make 
him  nicer.  Besides,  you'll  hurt  Ship's  feel- 
ings if  you  say  that." 

Then  Frank  sat  down,  and  Teddy  got  up  and 
spoke,  and  he  said :  "Let's  give  him  a  present." 

And  all  the  children  said :     "Hear,  hear !" 

So  it  was  decided  to  give  him  a  present. 

Then  Mary  got  up  and  asked :  "Where  are 
we  going  to  get  it  from  ?" 

And  all  the  children  said :     "Hear,  hear !" 

The  twins  never  had  spoken  in  public,  and 
they  wouldn't  break  their  rule. 

Charles  called  upon  them,  but  they  refused; 
he  urged  them,  but  they  were  firm  and  shook 
their  heads.  Then,  in  order  of  seniority,  it 
was  Ship's  turn,  and  he  barked  very  loudly  and 


THE  MEETING  87 

wagged  his  tail,  with  such  unusually  far- 
reaching  wags,  that  he  almost  knocked  Charles 
out  of  the  chair. 

And  all  the  children  said :     "Hear,  hear !" 

And  now,  if  you're  really  as  clever  as  I 
take  you  to  be,  you  will  bowl  me  over  and  con- 
vict me  of  telling  a  dreadful  story.  Not  this 
dreadful  story  of  the  Flint  Heart,  but  an- 
other dreadful  story  of  the  dog  called  Ship. 
Because,  when  he  first  appeared,  I  mentioned 
quite  distinctly  that  he  was  an  old  English 
sheep-dog  without  any  tail;  and  now  I  have 
gone  and  given  him  a  splendid  tail,  and,  worse, 
I  have  made  him  wag  it,  and  nearly  knock 
Charles  out  of  the  chair  at  the  meeting  with  it. 

How  am  I  going  to  get  out  of  that  fix  ? 

I  will  tell  you  the  truth,  and  the  truth  has  got 
quite  as  many  people  out  of  a  fix  in  its  time  as 
it  has  got  other  people  into  a  fix.  The  truth, 
then,  is  that  Ship  had  no  tail  of  his  own,  but, 
for  an  important  thing  like  this  meeting,  he 
borrowed  a  tail  from  a  collie  dog  who  also  lived 
at  Merripit.  He  hired  the  tail  for  one  after- 


88  THE  FLINT  HEART 

noon — just  as  people  sometimes  hire  a  suit  of 
black  velvet  and  a  sword  when  they  are  going 
to  attend  a  King's  levee;  and  he  paid  two  bones 
and  a  bit  of  rabbit's  skin  for  it. 

And  now  we  must  really  get  back  to  the 
meeting. 

Ship  merely  lent  the  meeting  his  moral  sup- 
port: he  was  not  much  use,  because  nobody 
knew  what  his  barks  meant ;  but  Charles  hoped 
better  things  from  Unity.  She  had  to  speak 
last,  and  she  was  a  practised  speaker,  and  knew 
exactly  what  she  wanted  to  say  before  she 
began. 

She  said:  "I  wonder  if  big  brother  Charles 
had  not  better  go  to  the  Pixies  for  father's 
present." 

And  all  the  children  said:  "Hear,  hear! 
Hear,  hear!" 

And  Ship  barked  "Hear,  hear !" 

And  Charles  bowed  and  was  bound  to  admit 
that  Unity  had  made  the  cleverest  and  most 
practical  speech  at  the  meeting. 

"I  will  do  my  best,"  he  told  them.     "We've 


THE  MEETING  89 

none  of  us  ever  seen  a  Pixie;  but  we  all  know 
very  well  there  are  such  people,  and  to-morrow 
evening  I'll  go  alone  to  the  Pixies'  Holt,  and  I 
hope  I  may  have  the  luck  to  see  one  and  speak 
to  him.  And  if  he'll  only  be  so  good  as  to 
listen,  something  may  come  of  it." 

After  that  the  meeting  broke  up,  but  not  be- 
fore Mary  had  proposed  a  vote  of  thanks  to 
Charles  for  taking  the  chair  and  for  what  he 
promised  to  do. 


CHAPTER  VII 

DE   QUINCEY 

Of  course,  you  always  skip  scenery  in  books, 
and  so  do  many  other  people  older  than  you 
are,  who  ought  to  know  better.  And  many 
people  skip  scenery  in  life  also,  and  never  want 
to  look  at  it,  and  would  rather  be  shopping  or 
walking  down  a  street  than  watching  the  most 
beautiful  sunset  or  beholding  mountains  or 
rivers  or  the  wonder  of  the  sea. 

But  you'll  have  to  read  these  few  words 
about  the  Pixies'  Holt,  and  if  you  miss  one  of 
them  the  pixies  will  be  much  annoyed  with  you, 
because  they  think  very  highly  of  the  entrance 
to  their  domain,  and  have  spent  much  time  and 
trouble  in  making  it  what  it  is. 

Their  haunt  lies  hidden  among  great  trees, 
where  stands  a  cluster  of  rocks,  all  covered 
with  moss  and  lichens  and  tufts  of  grass. 

90 


DE  QUINCEY  91 

The  grasses  come  and  go  according  to  the  sea- 
sons, so  that  in  Summer  the  great  rocks  have 
green  hair,  and  in  Autumn  their  hair  turns  yel- 
low, and  in  Winter  it  fades  and  disappears 
under  the  razor  of  the  east  wind,  so  that  the 
rocks  are  bald  until  the  grasses  sprout  in 
Spring. 

It  was  Spring  when  Charles  went  to  the  Holt 
hoping  to  see  a  pixie,  and  he  found  a  little 
dingle  of  the  woods  knee-deep  in  bluebells, 
with  the  great  green-haired  rocks  towering 
up  above  them.  The  bluebells  nodded  and 
swayed,  and  scented  the  air  to  the  very  en- 
trance of  the  cave  among  the  boulders  where 
fairies  were  believed  to  dwell.  You  went  in 
between  two  great  masses  of  stone,  richly  deco- 
rated with  dark  moss ;  and  first  you  came  to  a 
front  hall,  so  big  that  a  couple  of  foxes  could 
easily  dance  upright  there;  and  then  you  came 
to  an  inner  chamber,  only  large  enough  to  hold 
one  little  child;  and  then  you  came  to  a  huge, 
mysterious,  pitch-black  hole ;  and  what  was  be- 
yond that  none  knew  exactly.  But  that  it  was 


92  THE  FLINT  HEART 

the  high  road  into  an  important  pixy  city  few 
sensible  people  pretended  to  doubt. 

Charles  sat  down  among  the  bluebells,  and 
waited  very  patiently  indeed.  And  his  patience 
was  rewarded,  for  he  saw  some  exceedingly 
curious  things  that  are  only  seen  by  patient 
people  sitting  quite  still  in  woods.  I  cannot, 
however,  stop  to  talk  about  the  squirrels  and 
humble-bees  and  birds  and  other  busy  folk, 
because  many  people,  far  cleverer  and  patienter 
than  I  am,  have  written  whole  fat  books  about 
them.  All  I  must  do  is  to  tell  how  Charles 
saw  a  pixy,  and  who  it  was,  and  what  he  talked 
about. 

A  brown  thing  emerged  from  the  main  en- 
trance of  the  rocks,  and  first  Charles  thought 
it  was  a  weasel,  and  then  he  thought  it  was 
a  stoat;  but  it  happened  to  be  neither  of  these 
beasts,  as  Charles  soon  saw,  for  it  stood  on  its 
hind-legs  and  stretched  its  little  arms,  and  then 
walked  forward  six  paces  and  then  stood  still 
again.  Its  countenance  was  old,  its  cheeks 
were  thin,  and  its  forehead  was  larger  than 


DE  QUINCEY  93 

the  whole  of  the  rest  of  its  face.  It  had  grey 
whiskers  and  a  sharp  nose,  and  a  sort  of  hood 
of  dead  fern-colour  ending  in  a  point,  which 
hung  down  over  one  ear.  It  wore  a  long  cloak, 
which  nearly  reached  the  ground,  but  was 
belted  at  the  waist.  Under  its  arm  was  a  little 
book — far,  far  smaller  than  the  tiniest  "tiny" 
book  that  was  ever  offered  for  sale  in  one  of 
those  splendid  book  catalogues  that  kind  book- 
sellers often  send  to  me. 

The  pixy  stood  on  tiptoe  and  smelt  a  blue- 
bell; then  he  sniffed  the  air,  like  a  little  mouse 
that  has  just  come  out  of  its  hole  to  seek  for 
adventures ;  and  then  he  sat  down  on  the  blade 
of  a  wood-rush,  sighed,  put  on  a  tiny  pair  of 
double-glasses,  and  opened  his  tiny  book. 

Charles  thought  that  he  had  better  speak  be- 
fore the  pixy  began  to  read  and  got  interested, 
because  he  loved  books  himself  and  knew  how 
hard  it  is  to  leave  them  when  you  have  once 
started.  So  he  said,  "If  you  please,  sir,  may 
I  talk  to  you?" 

The  pixy  looked  up,  as  we  look  up  into  the 


94  THE  FLINT  HEART 

sky  when  it  thunders.  He  did  not  answer  im- 
mediately, but  took  a  wee  telescope  out  of  his 
cloak  and  attentively  examined  Charles,  who 
towered  above  him. 

"You  are  a  human  boy,  I  see,"  he  said  at 
last.  His  voice  was  thin  and  sharp,  like  the 
sound  made  by  the  wings  of  some  flies  when 
they  hang  in  the  air;  but  he  spoke  quite  dis- 
tinctly, and  Charles  heard  him  very  well. 

"Yes,"  he  answered,  "I'm  twelve,  and  I  have 
a  good  many  brothers  and  sisters,  and  my  name 
is  Charles." 

"Any  relation  of  the  great  Charles  ?"  inquired 
the  fairy. 

"D'you  mean  King  Charles?" 

"No,"  answered  the  pixy,  "I  do  not.  I  mean 
Charles  Dickens.  For  practical  purposes,  in 
the  history  of  this  country  there  is  only  one 
Charles." 

"I'm  afraid  I'm  not,"  said  the  visitor.  "I 
never  heard  of  him." 

"So  much  the  worse  for  you,"  answered  the 
pixy.  Then  he  began  to  read  his  book  again. 


Charles  found  himself  on  equal  terms  with  the  Uttle  fairy  man 


DE  QUINCEY  95 

"The  question  is  if  I  may  have  a  few  words 
on  a  sad  subject,"  said  Charles. 

The  pixy  shut  his  book. 

'  There  is  only  one  sad  subject/'  he  said. 
"And  I  am  always  quite  ready  to  discuss  it. 
But  let  me  first  reduce  you  to  a  more  convenient 
size.  Have  no  fear:  when  our  talk  is  at  an 
end  I  will  restore  you  to  your  present  absurd 
dimensions." 

Charles  was  a  good  deal  puzzled  at  this 
speech,  but  he  felt  no  fear.  The  pixy  took  a 
pencil  from  his  pocket  and  made  a  little  dia- 
gram on  Charles's  boot.  Then  he  spoke  a 
magic  word,  and  in  an  instant  Charles  found 
himself  on  equal  terms  with  the  little  fairy 
man.  Another  strange  thing  also  happened, 
for  he  now  saw  that  the  wild  wood  and  the 
bluebells  and  the  great  masses  of  rock  were  in 
reality  not  wild  at  all.  From  his  present 
height  of  three  inches  and  a-quarter  he  per- 
ceived that  the  bluebells  were  growing  in  stately 
and  regular  avenues,  with  walks  and  sidewalks 
between  them;  that  the  entrance  to  the  cave 


96  THE  FLINT  HEART 

was  no  rough  hole  between  two  lumps  of  rocks, 
but  a  magnificent  and  beautiful  gateway  of  glit- 
tering granite  covered  with  wonderful  decora- 
tions in  grey  and  black.  All  was  thought  out 
and  carefully  planned,  even  to  the  spider's  web 
that  held  a  dead  leaf  above  the  entrance,  as 
though  it  had  been  a  flag  at  the  gate  of  a  city. 

"Recline  here,"  said  the  pixy,  "and  we  will 
discuss  the  saddest  subject  in  the  world.  I  may 
tell  you  that  my  name  is  De  Quincey." 

"Indeed,"  said  Charles. 

"Yes,"  answered  the  fairy.  "The  original 
great  De  Quincey,  as  you  may  or  may  not  know, 
was  a  learned  Theban  who  wrote  books — the 
most  wonderful  books,  in  my  opinion.  So, 
when  the  time  came  for  me  to  choose  a  name, 
I  called  myself  De  Quincey." 

"Do  fairies  choose  their  own  names?"  asked 
Charles. 

"Certainly.  Why  not?  At  twenty-one 
years  of  age  we  are  called  upon  to  give  our- 
selves a  name.  The  great  name  of  'De 
Quincey'  was  not  appropriated  in  Fairyland, 


DE  QUINCEY  97 

so  I  took  it.  And  this  brings  me  naturally  to 
the  saddest  subject  in  the  world.  I  refer  to  the 
music  of  English  prose.  It  has  gone.  We 
have  lost  it.  The  music  of  prose  is  a  thing  of 
the  past !" 

He  took  out  his  handkerchief,  and  was  evi- 
dently going  to  cry. 

"Don't  cry — explain,"  said  Charles.  "I 
don't  know  what  you  mean  by  the  music  of 
prose." 

"Then  read  Sir  Thomas  Browne  and  Milton 
and  De  Quincey  and  Landor  and  Ruskin,"  said 
the  fairy.  "Walter  Landor,  let  me  tell  you,  is 
an  immortal  banner  on  the  topmost  turret  and 
battlement  of  our  glorious  mother-tongue!" 

"Dear  me!"  said  Charles,  "how  beautifully 
you  talk.  I  do  wish  I  understood  these  things." 

"I  always  talk  like  that  when  I  get  excited," 
answered  De  Quincey.  "Nobody  can  ever  say 
that  I  do  not  sustain  the  charms  and  cadences 
of  the  language.  If  I  ask  for  another  cup  of 
tea  at  breakfast,  it  is  done  like  an  artist;  but 
I  am  not  appreciated.  Who  cares  for  the  music 


98  THE  FLINT  HEART 

of  English  prose  nowadays?  Nobody — no- 
body. And  that  is  the  saddest  thing — in  fact, 
the  only  really  sad  thing  in  the  world." 

"Was  Shakespeare  anybody  much?"  asked 
Charles.  He  had  not  read  many  books,  but  once 
on  a  time  some  people  lodged  at  Merripit  in  the 
Summer — a  reading  party  of  young  men  from 
Oxford — and  one  of  them  had  left  behind  a 
copy  of  "A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream." 

"Take  off  your  hat  when  you  mention 
that  name!"  ordered  the  fairy;  and  Charles 
did  so. 

"Remember  that  when  anybody  speaks  of 
Shakespeare  you  uncover  your  head,"  repeated 
De  Quincey ;  and  Charles  saw  that  he  had  taken 
off  his  brown  cowl,  and  was  quite  bald  under 
it. 

"The  same  remark  applies  to  Milton,"  he 
added.  "And  as  to  Shakespeare  being  any 
good,  he  is  not  merely  some  good,  but  all 
good — the  most  superlative,  supreme  trans- 
cendent, and  paramount  artist  this  world  has 
known.  I  speak  as  a  poet  myself. 


DE  QUINCEY  99 

"Have  you  read  his  funny  book  about  the 
pixies?"  asked  Charles. 

"Before  you  were  born  or  thought  of,"  an- 
swered De  Quincey.  "He  paid  Fairyland  a 
visit  in  order  to  write  it.  That  was  before  my 
time,  I  grieve  to  say,  but  vivid  traditions  exist 
amongst  us.  Shakespeare  has  been  in  Fairy- 
land more  than  once.  But  we  are  forgetting 
the  music  of  English  prose.  The  loss — the 
heart-breaking  loss !" 

His  lip  went  down  and  he  drew  out  his 
pocket-handkerchief  once  more. 

"Don't  interrupt  me  again,"  he  said  to 
Charles,  "because  I  will  cry.  It  is  a  case  for 
many  and  bitter  tears." 

He  wept,  and  Charles  noticed  that  each  drop 
was  like  a  little  seed-pearl.  They  rolled  down 
on  either  side  of  the  fairy's  nose  and  pattered 
and  hopped  on  the  ground  as  though  they  had 
been  hail ;  but,  unlike  hail,  they  did  not  melt. 

Charles  was  much  interested. 

"Excuse  me,"  he  said,  "but  might  I  have 
some  of  those?" 


ioo  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Some  of  what?"  asked  the  fairy.  The 
worst  part  of  his  weeping  was  over  and  he  be- 
gan to  give  long  gasps  and  dry  his  eyes. 

"Some  of  those  beautiful  tears,"  said 
Charles. 

'Tears,  idle  tears,  I  know  not  what  ye 
mean/  "  quoted  De  Quincey.  "  All  the  same," 
he  added,  "I  know  what  ye  mean.  Yes,  you 
can  have  them;  but  they  will  be  of  little  use 
to  you.  The  tears  of  fairies  are  the  seed  of 
the  flower  euphrasy — known  to  you  as  'eye- 
bright.'  " 

"Of  course,"  said  Charles.  "It  grows  all 
over  the  Moor." 

"Sow  these  fond  drops,"  said  the  fairy, 
"and  euphrasy  will  spring  up.  Sometimes  it 
is  white  and  sometimes  it  is  purple.  Experi- 
ment has  proved  that  my  tears  always  come 
up  purple.  I  may  mention  that  Milton  refers 
to  the  herb  in  Taradise  Lost.' ' 

Neither  spoke  for  a  long  time  after  that; 
then  Charles,  who  had  a  kind  heart  and  liked 
to  talk  of  things  that  he  knew  interested  peo- 


DE  QUINCEY  101 

pie,  asked  the  pixy  what  his  book  was,  be- 
cause he  thought  it  would  please  De  Quincey 
to  talk  about  it. 

"The  work  I  am  perusing  happens  to  be 
a  dictionary,"  answered  the  fairy.  "There  is 
much  pleasure  and  profit  to  be  won  from  the 
pages  of  a  dictionary.  I  have  read  every  let- 
ter of  the  alphabet,  and  made  a  study  of  each 
— all  but  'z.'  You  may  have  observed  that 
I  never  use  any  word  beginning  with  that  let- 
ter. The  reason  is  that  I  have  not  yet  studied 
it." 

"I  know  two  words  beginning  with  *z,'  "  de- 
clared Charles. 

"You  surprise  me,"  answered  the  fairy.  "I 
should  not  have  expected  that.  What  are 
they?" 

"Zebra  and  Zany,"  answered  Charles. 

"Thank  you;  the  zebra  I  have  met  with  in 
works  on  natural  history,"  replied  De 
Quincey;  "but  I  cannot  say  that  the  word 
'zany'  is  familiar  to  me.  What  do  you  mean 
by  it?" 


T02  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"A  chap  who  is  a  bit  soft  in  his  wits — who 
has  got  a  bee  in  his  bonnet." 

"Capital!"  said  the  other.  "I'm  tired  of 
calling  the  fairies  fools;  now  I  can  call  them 
'zanies'  instead.  It  will  make  a  change." 

"Surely  no  fairies  are  fools?"  asked 
Charles  with  great  surprise.  "I  thought  they 
were  all  as  sharp  as  needles." 

"Far  from  it.  In  fact,  no  more  sharp  as 
a  rule  than  anybody  else.  We  have  just  as 
many  fools  among  us  as  you  have,  or  the  birds 
have,  or  the  beasts  have.  Society  of  all  ranks 
consists  mostly  of  fools.  We  people  with 
brains — I  include  you,  because  you  know  two 
words  beginning  with  V — we  clever  people, 
I  say,  have  to  think  for  the  poor  stupids  who 
can't  think  for  themselves." 

"And  now,"  said  Charles,  "I'll  tell  you  what 
I  have  come  about.  It  was  very  lucky  that  I 
met  such  a  wonderful  and  clever  pixy,  for  if 
most  of  them  are  thick-headed,  of  course  they 
couldn't  have  helped  me." 

He  then  told  De  Quincey  about  his  father 


DE  QUINCEY  103 

and  how  he  had  changed.  He  also  mentioned 
the  Meeting,  and  the  resolve  that  everybody 
had  come  to  at  it. 

"And  then,  after  we'd  decided  upon  a  beau- 
tiful present  for  my  father,  to  get  him  back 
into  a  good  temper,"  explained  Charles,  "the 
question  was,  What  should  it  be?  And  my 
sister  Unity  thought  that  I  should  come  and 
ask  the  pixies.  And  here  I  am." 

De  Quincey  thought  for  a  few  moments. 
He  had  not  the  slightest  idea  what  sort  of 
present  the  children  should  get  for  Billy  Jago; 
but  he  pretended  he  knew  all  about  it. 

"The  problem  is  not  difficult  of  solution," 
he  said;  "indeed,  I  could  have  given  you  the 
answer  in  an  instant.  Many  far  more  pro- 
found cases  than  this  have  come  under  my 
notice,  and  I  have  never  had  anybody  find 
fault  with  my  decisions.  But  it  happens  that 
on  the  night  of  Tuesday  next  the  Zagabog — 
a  'z/  by  the  way — visits  us.  The  Court  is 
entertaining  him  at  a  banquet,  and  we  shall 
have  a  very  brilliant  evening,  with  plenty  of 


104  THE  FLINT  HEART 

good  music  and  some  recitations  and  dancing, 
and  a  dinner  of  thirty-eight  courses,  embrac- 
ing ices  and  the  best  of  wines." 

"Very  interesting  indeed,"  said  Charles; 
"but  I'm  afraid  it  won't  help  me." 

"  It  may  or  it  may  not,"  answered  De 
Quincey ;  "that  rests  with  you.  The  Zagabog, 
of  course,  knows  everything.  I  suppose  you 
were  aware  of  that?" 

"I  never  heard  of  him,"  confessed  Charles. 

"And  never  heard  of  his  Agent  in  Advance, 
the  Snick?" 

"Never,"  said  Charles. 

"Then  I  withdraw  what  I  said  about  you 
being  a  clever  person,"  declared  the  fairy. 

"I'm  very  sorry,"  answered  Charles  humbly ; 
"but  it  was  no  good  pretending  I  did  if  I 
didn't." 

"Not  a  bit,"  admitted  the  other.  "The 
Zagabog  is  easily  the  best,  most  brilliant,  and 
wisest  creature  in  the  universe.  What  he 
doesn't  know  doesn't  matter.  Now  I  will  tell 
you  what  I  can  do.  Our  leading  statesmen, 


DE  QUINCEY  105 

philosophers,  and  men  of  letters  have  each  re- 
ceived permission  to  bring  one  guest  to  the 
banquet.  You  may  come  as  my  guest,  and  I 
have  little  or  no  doubt  that  the  Zagabog,  if  I 
make  a  favour  of  it  with  the  Snick,  will  an- 
swer your  question." 

"This  is  very  kind,  I'm  sure,  and  I  don't 
know  how  to  thank  you,  dear  Mr.  De 
Quincey,"  said  Charles. 

"You  may  have  it  in  your  power  to  do  me  a 
service  on  some  future  occasion,"  said  the 
fairy.  "It  is  not  probable,  because  we  move 
in  very  different  walks  of  life;  but  the  world 
is  full  of  possibilities,  as  you  will  find  when 
you  grow  older  and  more  intelligent.  We 
shall  expect  you,  then,  at  eight-fifteen  for  eight- 
thirty.  Be  punctual,  for  the  King  is  the  soul 
of  punctuality.  It  is  his  only  strong  point,  be- 
tween ourselves." 

"I  will  be  there;  but  it  seems  almost  too 
much  to  have  dinner  with  the  King  and  the 
Zagabog  and  the  Snick — and  you,"  said 
Charles. 


io6  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"It  is  dazzling,  no  doubt,  and  a  great 
experience  for  a  human  boy,"  admitted  De 
Quincey.  "You  must  not,  of  course,  expect 
to  be  the  Guest  of  the  Evening,"  he  added. 
"The  Zagabog  is  the  Lion  of  the  occasion. 
He  has  not  visited  us  since  1704,  the  year  of 
the  Battle  of  Blenheim  in  the  reign  of  Queen 
Anne.  You  will  come  merely  as  my  friend. 
But  I  may  tell  you  that  any  friend  of  mine  will 
have  a  certain  amount  of  attention  paid  him." 

"I  hope  not,"  said  Charles.  "I  only  want 
just  to  sit  in  a  corner  and  see  it  all.  Or  I 
might  help  with  the  dishes." 

De  Quincey  was  much  annoyed  at  this. 

"You  must  come  in  the  spirit  of  a  guest,  not 
in  the  spirit  of  a  footman,"  he  said.  "  You 
must  be  as  grand  and  haughty  as  you  know 
how — out  of  compliment  to  me.  I  need  hardly 
say  that  we  dress  for  dinner." 

"Of  course,"  said  Charles;  "so  do  I." 

"  Indeed !"  exclaimed  De  Quincey.  "For- 
give me  for  the  remark;  but  I  should  hardly 
have  expected  that  you  did." 


DE  QUINCEY  107 

"Always,"  said  Charles;  "and  also  for 
breakfast  and  supper." 

"I  must  make  a  note  of  that,"  declared  De 
Quincey,  "because  it  is  strong  support  of  one 
of  my  most  cherished  theories.  I  have  always 
held  that  to  dress  for  dinner  is  a  pure  conven- 
tion. Why  dress  for  dinner  if  you  don't  dress 
for  breakfast?" 

"Why,  indeed  ?"  said  Charles. 

"There  is  no  explanation,"  answered  De 
Quincey.  "And  I  hope,  during  the  course  of 
the  banquet,  that  you  will  take  occasion  to  men- 
tion pretty  loudly  how  you  always  dress  for 
breakfast." 

"Certainly,  if  you  wish  it,"  said  Charles. 
"I  wonder  you  don't." 

"I  thank  you,"  answered  De  Quincey.  "It 
will  show  that  you  possess  the  priceless  gift  of 
originality,  and  may  add  to  your  importance. 
Remember  that  when  you  arrive  here  you  wait 
until  my  Secretary  appears.  I  shall  be  too 
busy  to  come  myself,  for  I  shall  be  putting  the 
finishing  touches  to  the  Ode.  But  my  Secre- 


108  THE  FLINT  HEART 

tary  will  be  ready  to  reduce  you  to  a  reason- 
able size;  and  after  that  he  will  conduct  you 
into  the  entrance  hall." 

Charles  collected  De  Quincey's  tears  in  a 
bluebell;  then  the  fairy  bowed  and  wished  him 
"good-day." 

"And  good-afternoon  to  you,  sir,  and  thank 
you  very  much  indeed  for  all  your  kindness," 
said  Charles. 

The  next  moment  De  Quincey  had  touched 
his  boot  and  said  a  magic  word;  whereupon 
Charles  shot  up  to  his  full  height  of  five  feet 
one  inch.  It  felt  quite  dangerous  to  be  so  ter- 
rifically large  again,  and  he  found  that  to  his 
human  eyes  the  fairy's  tears  looked  like  finest 
dust.  So  when  he  got  home  he  sowed  them 
in  the  garden  and  stuck  a  label  over  them  and 
wrote  on  it.  "Mr.  De  Quincey's  tears — to  turn 
into  'eyebright.' ' 

Then  he  called  another  Meeting  and  told 
everybody  all  about  the  things  that  he  had  seen 
and  heard. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

THE   ZAGABOG 

After  Charles  had  told  the  Meeting  all  about 
what  had  happened,  Unity  spoke  to  him  pri- 
vately. 

"I  wonder,"  she  asked,  "if  I  might  come  to 
the  fairies'  party  ?" 

Charles  explained  that  she  had  not  been  in- 
vited; but  Unity  seemed  to  think  that  didn't 
much  matter,  and,  as  Charles  loved  Unity  bet- 
ter than  anything  in  the  world,  he  consented 
to  take  her. 

"I  wonder,"  said  Unity,  "if  Ship  might  come 
to  the  party  ?" 

"He  might  come  to  see  us  safe  home  after- 
wards," answered  Charles.  "But  of  course  he 
couldn't  actually  come  to  the  party." 

So  it  was  left  like  that,  and  when  the  night 
arrived,  Unity  and  Charles  and  Ship  went  off 
109 


no  THE  FLINT  HEART 

quietly  without  telling  anybody  about  it  but  the 
members  of  the  Meeting.  Of  course,  if  John 
had  found  out  he  would  have  stopped  them, 
because  John  was  grown  up;  so  they  didn't 
mention  it  to  him;  and  they  didn't  mention  it 
to  their  mother,  and  of  course  they  didn't  men- 
tion it  to  their  father,  as  they  were  going  en- 
tirely on  his  account  to  hear  the  wise  Zagabog 
tell  them  concerning  the  gift  that  was  to  make 
Mr.  Billy  Jago  nice  and  kind  again. 

Ship  went  too,  and,  in  the  dimpsy  light  of  a 
June  evening,  they  arrived  at  the  Pixies'  Holt 
at  eight-fifteen  for  eight-thirty,  as  the  fairy  had 
directed. 

De  Quincey's  Secretary,  who  waited  for 
them,  was  a  small  middle-aged  fairy  with 
rather  a  sad  face.  He  had  long  been  accus- 
tomed to  do  exactly  what  he  was  told,  and  he 
never  argued  about  anything,  and  you  never 
knew  what  was  really  his  own  opinion  of  any- 
body. This  concealment  was  bad  for  him  and 
made  him  look  sick.  He  worked  the  charm, 
first  on  Charles,  who  found  himself  three 


THE  ZAGABOG  in 

inches  and  a-half  high;  and  then  on  Unity, 
who  found  herself  two  inches  and  a-half  high ; 
and  then  on  Ship,  who  found  himself  one  inch 
and  a-half  high,  and  was  very  much  surprised 
at  the  change. 

And  Unity  said,  "I  wonder  if  Ship  might 
come  to  the  party  now  ?" 

And  Ship  didn't  wonder  at  all,  but  declared 
that  he  was  coming. 

Of  course  they  quite  understood  what  he 
said,  because  if  you  are  once  reduced  to  fairy 
size  you  become  able  to  understand  all  lan- 
guages, as  all  real  fairies  do. 

So  Charles  asked  the  Secretary,  and  he  re- 
plied that  it  was  not  his  business,  and  he  would 
not  say  whether  Ship  might  go  to  the  party. 
But  he  explained  that  a  good  many  important 
squirrels  and  several  water-voles  and  a  hedge- 
hog and  certain  nice  birds  were  coming  to  the 
party,  so  he  didn't  suppose  that  one  more  crea- 
ture would  matter. 

Then  he  led  the  way,  and  Charles  and  Unity 
and  Ship  followed  him. 


112  THE  FLINT  HEART 

The  bluebells  at  the  entrance  of  the  Pixies' 
Holt  each  had  a  glow-worm  sitting  on  the  top 
of  it,  so  the  visitors  entered  through  a  glim- 
mering little  avenue  of  lights;  and  inside  they 
found  a  great  crowd  of  fairies  and  other  things 
all  chatting  and  waiting  for  dinner  to  be  an- 
nounced. The  men  fairies  were  in  evening 
dress,  which  consisted  of  black  and  white  bean- 
flowers,  and  the  ladies  were  brilliant  in  every 
colour  of  a  rainbow  or  a  beautiful  summer 
garden.  Their  gowns  were  made  entirely  of 
flower-petals,  such  as  the  blossoms  of  wild 
geraniums,  buttercups,  columbines,  violets, 
eglantines,  honeysuckles,  and  other  lovely 
things. 

De  Quincey  was  running  about  in  a  very 
excited  manner,  and  when  he  saw  Charles, 
Unity,  and  Ship  he  came  forward. 

Charles  explained  why  he  had  brought  the 
others,  and  De  Quincey  did  not  conceal  his 
astonishment ;  but  it  was  clear  that  Unity  made 
a  great  impression  on  him  from  the  first,  and, 


The  ladies  were  brilliant  in  every  colour  of  a  rainbow 


THE  ZAGABOG  113 

indeed,  a  little  crowd  collected  round  her  the 
moment  that  she  arrived. 

She  looked  very  lovely  and  less  ragged  than 
usual,  because  she  and  Charles  had  both  man- 
aged to  put  on  their  Sunday  best  before  they 
started;  but  it  was  clear  that  even  their  best 
clothes  did  not  much  please  De  Quincey. 

"This  will  never  do,"  he  said,  quoting  the 
words  of  one  of  the  most  mistaken  men  who 
ever  lived.  "You  shall  come  with  me,  Charles. 
Convention  demands  a  beanflower  costume  on 
the  present  occasion ;  and  as  for  your  sister,  the 
ladies  will  see  to  her.  Be  quick:  there  is  just 
time  before  the  banquet  is  served." 

Some  girl  fairies  took  Unity  and  soon 
dressed  her  in  blue  speedwells,  which  made 
her  look  quite  delicious ;  while  Charles  was  hur- 
ried off  to  De  Quincey's  private  house  in  the 
High  Street  of  Fairyland,  and  the  Secretary 
found  an  old  bean-flower  suit  that  fitted  him 
fairly  well,  though  far  too  tight  at  the  shoul- 
ders. As  for  Ship,  he  was  not  expected  to 


114  THE  FLINT  HEART 

dress,  and  the  red  ribbon  round  his  neck  made 
him  far  more  dressy  than  any  of  the  other 
beasts,  who  had  merely  combed  their  fur  or 
feathers  and  washed  their  paws  or  claws,  as 
the  case  might  be,  and  come  as  they  were. 

Presently  a  gong  sounded  and  the  guests 
streamed  into  the  banqueting-hall.  It  was 
lighted  from  the  roof  by  something  that  looked 
like  a  baby  sun ;  but  the  colour  was  that  pecul- 
iarly radiant  shade  you  may  have  seen  some- 
times at  breakfast  when  there  has  been  a  pot 
of  salmon  and  shrimp-paste  to  eat  with  your 
bread-and-butter.  A  delicate  and  very  beauti- 
ful beam  of  salmon-and-shrimp  light  spread 
through  the  apartment,  and  everybody's  face 
shone  with  a  pink  glow  that  added  much  to  the 
natural  beauty  of  the  fairies,  and  made  the  old 
ones  look  merely  middle-aged  and  the  middle- 
aged  appear  quite  young  again. 

Covers  were  laid  for  three  hundred  and 
thirty-five  persons ;  but  the  beasts  sat  at  a  table 
apart,  though  near  enough  to  hear  the  songs 
and  speeches.  Their  dishes  were  slightly  dif- 


THE  ZAGABOG  115 

ferent  from  those  brought  to  the  other  diners. 
Ship  sat  between  a  lady  stoat  and  a  lady  pheas- 
ant. They  tried  to  look  at  life  with  each 
other's  eyes,  and  taught  each  other  many  things 
worth  knowing. 

Unity  would  sit  beside  Charles,  and  De 
Quincey  sat  on  her  right,  and  on  Charles's  left 
sat  a  very  beautiful  fairy  called  Lady  Godiva, 
after  the  sweet  heroine  of  that  name. 

At  the  top  of  the  table  were  the  King  and  the 
Queen,  with  the  Guest  of  the  Evening,  the 
Zagabog,  between  them.  The  King  and  the 
Queen  were  elderly,  but  still  handsome;  the 
Zagabog  was  not  merely  elderly,  but  very 
nearly  as  ancient  as  the  earth  itself.  He  be- 
longed to  the  grand  old  order  of  creatures  that 
began  soon  after  the  Earth  flew  off  from  the 
Sun  and  set  up  being  a  planet  on  her  own  ac- 
count. His  friends  were  the  Thunder  Spirit, 
the  Spirit  of  the  Rain,  the  Spirit  of  Burning 
Mountains,  and  others  equally  important  and 
powerful.  But  he  was  older  than  all  the  rest, 
and  also  more  wonderful  and  more  wise. 


n6  THE  FLINT  HEART 

He  wore  nothing  but  gold,  and  behaved  in 
the  kindliest  manner  to  great  and  small.  His 
table  manners  were  homely,  and  he  knew  every- 
thing. 

Strictly  speaking,  he  was  not  beautiful,  ex- 
cept his  pale-green  eyes.  His  back  was  round, 
his  nose  was  large  and  long,  his  hands  were 
really  more  like  paws  than  hands,  and  his  tail 
was  ratty,  but  very  neat  and  always  well  cared 
for. 

The  Snick  really  looked  more  remarkable 
than  the  Zagabog,  though  he  was  only  an 
Agent  in  Advance.  He  wore  black,  with  an 
old-fashioned  stock  and  a  bunch  of  seals  and 
the  hood  of  a  Cambridge  Master  of  Arts.  He 
put  on  a  great  deal  of  "side,"  and  made  a  great 
deal  of  unnecessary  difficulty  always  about  the 
Zagabog,  and  pretended  that  he  was  booked  up 
for  years  and  years  in  advance,  and  altogether 
behaved  in  such  a  way  that  you  might  have 
thought  he  was  the  great  man  and  the  humble 
Zagabog  a  mere  nobody. 

Music  played  during  the  banquet,  and  there 


THE  ZAGABOG  117 

was  much  conversation.  Everybody  thought 
the  Zagabog  appeared  in  very  good  form ;  and 
this  was  true,  because  he  always  enjoyed  his 
visits  to  the  fairies,  and  was  especially  fond  of 
their  present  King  and  Queen. 

The  Zagabog  went  round  the  world  paying 
visits  of  this  kind,  and  seeing  where  he  could 
be  useful  and  make  people  happier  and  wiser. 
His  life  was  a  ceaseless  round  of  visits.  He 
lived  in  a  golden  island  behind  the  sunset,  but 
was  seldom  there  for  more  than  a  few  weeks 
in  the  winter,  and  then  only  that  he  might  take 
a  rest-cure ;  and  his  busy  life  was  spent  among 
birds  and  beasts  and  the  things  under  the  sea. 
He  regarded  a  visit  to  the  fairies  as  more  of 
a  holiday  than  serious  work,  for  they  always 
did  everything  they  could  to  give  him  a  pleas- 
ant time.  Of  course  he  had  to  be  made  small 
when  he  came  to  see  them,  but  his  real  size  was 
huge — in  fact,  as  big  as  the  Thunder  Spirit 
and  the  rest  of  those  mighty  people. 

The  banquet  consisted  of  the  best  fairy  food, 
and  I  shall  not  tell  you  about  it,  because  you 


ii8  THE  FLINT  HEART 

will  only  grow  discontented  with  what  you 
have  at  home  and  want  to  taste  the  magical 
dishes  and  drink  the  magical  wine,  which  never 
gets  into  your  head,  but  only  into  your  heart. 
So  we  will  go  on  to  the  time  when  nearly  every- 
body had  had  enough,  except  a  few  of  the 
beasts,  who  had  had  too  much.  Then  the 
Snick,  who  was  Master  of  the  Ceremonies, 
stood  up  in  his  place  at  the  bottom  of  one  of  the 
tables,  wiped  his  mouth  in  a  rose-leaf  napkin, 
and  rapped  loudly  with  the  drumstick  of  a 
roasted  grasshopper. 

Everybody  cheered  him,  and  the  Snick,  who 
liked  fame — even  the  fame  that  belongs  to  an 
Agent  in  Advance — bowed  to  the  right  and 
bowed  to  the  left  and  bowed  to  the  high  table 
where  royalty  sat. 

Then  he  said:  "Your  Majesties,  Mr.  Zaga- 
bog,  ladies  and  gentlemen  and  beasts,  our  en- 
tertainment this  evening  is  various  and 
picturesque,  gorgeous  and  refined,  harmonious 
and  artistic.  The  first  item  will  be  an  Ode 
composed  and  written  by  the  fairy  poet,  De 


THE  ZAGABOG  119 

Quincey.  It  is  entitled  'Mr.  Zagabog/  and  it 
will  give  you  a  brief  sketch  of  the  life-history, 
achievements,  and  precious  peculiarities  of 
your  honored  guest." 

There  was  a  great  stir.  The  Zagabog 
smiled  out  of  his  gentle  green  eyes  and  took 
wine  with  De  Quincey.  Then  the  soloist  stood 
up,  and  the  chorus  stood  up,  and  the  band 
tuned  up;  because  De  Quincey  was  not  only  a 
poet,  but  a  musician,  and  he  had  written  the 
music  of  the  Ode  and  arranged  all  the  parts  and 
everything.  It  was,  in  fact,  a  cantata — so  he 
said.  In  order  to  conduct,  he  got  on  to  the 
table.  His  baton  was  a  furze-needle  and  he 
tapped  one  of  the  wine-goblets — the  seed-case 
of  a  campion — that  he  might  command  atten- 
tion and  silence  the  conversation. 

Then  the  opening  bars  of  the  Ode  were 
given.  It  began  rather  solemnly,  but  worked 
up  into  a  spirited  air  before  the  solo.  The  first 
soloist  was  one  of  the  greatest  singers  that 
Fairyland  has  ever  known.  She  called  her- 
self Madame  Melba,  and  her  voice  was  like  the 


120  THE  FLINT  HEART 

little  twitter  of  the  swallows  when  they  are 
catching  flies  for  their  young  ones.  The  gen- 
tleman soloist  was  known  as  Sir  Charles  Sant- 
ley,  and  his  high  notes  sounded  like  a  bee  in  a 
cowslip,  only  with  more  feeling.  They  sang 
alternate  verses,  while  the  chorus  struck  in  at 
the  end  of  each  verse. 

I  cannot  give  you  the  music  of  this  great 
performance,  because  it  is  copyrighted ;  but  the 
words  I  have  in  my  possession.  They  are, 
however,  far  too  important  words  for  the  end 
of  a  chapter,  and  I  shall  begin  the  next  one  with 
them. 


CHAPTER  IX 

THE  ENTERTAINMENT 

The  first  item  was  the  great  "Song  of  Mr. 
Zagabog" ;  and  it  went  like  this : 

i. 
We  shall  sing  the  magic  Story  of  an  Isle  beyond 

the  Sun, 

Of  a  precious  golden  island  never  seen  by  anyone ; 
So  listen,  listen,  listen  to  our  soft  and  limpid  lays 
Of  the  Island  and  the  Zagabog  from  old  pre- 
Cambrian  days. 

Chorus, 

The  mild  and  humble  Zagabog, 
The  tender-hearted  Zagabog 
With  prehistoric  ways. 

n. 
Upon  his  wondrous  head  he  wore  a  gold  and  ruby 

crown, 
His  eyes  were  green  and  rather  sad,  his  tail  hung 

meekly  down; 
But  on  a  throne  of  early  mud  he  comfortably  sat 

121 


122  THE  FLINT  HEART 

And  ruled  his  Golden  Island  in  a  way  we  marvel 
at. 

He  was  a  peaceful  Zagabog, 
A  practical  old  Zagabog, 
And  quite  unique  at  that. 

in. 

For  Nature  only  made  but  one,  though  we  shall 

never  know 

Why  just  a  single  Zagabog  exhausted  Nature  so. 
His  subjects  first  were  trilobites,  the  newest  of 

the  new, 

And  then  came  other  bygone  beasts  that  leapt  and 
swam  and  flew. 

But  all  obeyed  the  Zagabog, 
The  good  primeval  Zagabog: 
Which  they  were  right  to  do. 

IV. 

From  periods  ante-Primary  he  dated,  as  we  know, 
And  with  the  keenest  interest  observed  that  won- 
drous show 
Of  shells  and  fish  and  monstrous  efts  and  dragons 

on  the  wing; 

Then  noted  down  the  changes  that  the  rolling 
ages  bring. 

That  scientific  Zagabog, 

That  most  observant  Zagabog: 

And  he  loved  everything. 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT          123 

v. 

Some  twenty  million  years  rolled  by,  and  all  the 

Isle  went  well; 
Great  palms  grew  on  the  mountain-tops,   huge 

ferns  adorned  the  dell; 
And  everywhere  huge  reptiles  took  their  Mesozoic 

ease, 

And  ate  each  other  frequently,  with  snap  and 
sneeze. 

But  their  beloved  Zagabog, 
Their  wise  and  wakeful  Zagabog, 
They  always  tried  to  please. 

VI. 

For  in  those  Secondary  times,  when  monsters  had 

their  day, 
Triassic  and  Jurassic  giants  about  his  feet  would 

play; 
And  through  the  air  there  sometimes  came  the 

Archaeopteryx — 

A  funny  sort  of  feathered  thing  where  bird  and 
dragon  mix. 

"Your  fossil,"  said  the  Zagabog, 
The  humour-loving  Zagabog, 
"Will  put  them  in  a  fix!" 

VII. 

He  made  no  laws,  he  made  no  fuss ;  he  just  sat  on 
his  throne 


124  THE  FLINT  HEART 

With  a  genial  simplicity  peculiarly  his  own. 
The  Plesiosaur,  the  Teleosaur,  the  Early  Croco- 
dile, 

The  weird  Cretaceous  ocean-folk,  who  never, 
never  smile — 

All  worshipped  their  old  Zagabog, 
Their  quaint  benignant  Zagabog, 
In  his  enchanted  Isle. 

VIII. 

More  ages  passed,  more  monsters  passed,  and  oth- 
ers took  their  place ; 
The  Zagabog  he  still  went  on  from  endless  race 

to  race, 
Till  Toxodons  and  Mammoths  came,  with  Sloths 

of  stature  grand, 

Whose  small  relations  still  hang  on  in  many  a 
sunny  land. 

And  though  an  old-time  Zagabog, 
A  right-down  Early  Zagabog, 
He  gave  them  all  his  hand. 

IX. 

For,  rich  with  the  wide  wisdom  of  a  million  mil- 
lion years, 

He  always  an  optimist  and  felt  no  growing  fears, 

Till  Palaeolithic  ages  brought  Dame  Nature's 
latest  joys, 

And  all  his  Golden  Island  rang  and  rippled  with 
the  noise. 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT         125 

"Good  gracious !"  said  the  Zagabog ; 
"God  bless  us!"  cried  the  Zagabog; 
"They're  fairy  girls  and  boys !" 

x. 

All  together: 

About  his  throne  with  laughter  shrill  the  tiny 

people  came 
And  climbed  upon  his  aged  knees  and  bade  him 

make  a  game. 
And  still  he  rules  and  still  he  helps  the  fairies 

with  their  fun. 

Of  course,  he'll  never  die  himself,  there  being 
only  one — 

One  calm  persistent  Zagabog, 
One  dear  pre-Cambrian  Zagabog, 
Beyond  the  setting  sun. 

This  very  fine  song  of  the  history  of  the  Zag- 
abog was  much  admired,  and  the  Zagabog  him- 
self liked  it  as  well  as  anybody.  First  he 
called  up  De  Quincey  and  patted  him  on  the 
back  and  shook  hands  with  him ;  and  then  the 
solo  singers,  and  the  chorus,  and  the  orchestra 
were  all  brought  up  to  be  complimented.  And 
everybody  agreed  that  it  was  quite  the  best 
song  that  De  Quincey  had  made.  He  got  so 


126  THE  FLINT  HEART 

excited  that  Charles  was  afraid  he  would  break 
down  and  cry  again ;  but  he  recovered  presently 
and  bowed  to  everybody,  and  then  returned  to 
his  seat  and  dashed  off  a  filbert-shell  of  dry  old 
wortleberry  wine  (vintage  1862).  He  was 
then  quite  himself  once  more  and  ready  to 
criticise  the  next  item  on  the  programme. 

But  there  followed  a  brief  delay.  The  Zag- 
abog  signalled  to  the  Snick,  and  the  Snick  has- 
tened to  his  side,  and  the  Zagabog  whispered 
to  him.  Then  the  Snick  announced,  in  his 
most  important  tone  of  voice  that,  with  the  per- 
mission of  his  Majesty,  the  Zagabog  would 
like  to  say  four  words. 

Everybody  cheered  and  the  King  answered : 
"Certainly — as  many  words  as  you  please,  Mr. 
Zagabog." 

But  the  Zagabog  only  used  the  four  that  he 
wanted  to,  and  they  were  very  simple. 

He  said :  "Please  may  I  smoke  ?" 

And  when  the  King  had  given  permission  he 
brought  out  his  cigar-case  and  selected  a  cigar 
and  bit  the  top  off.  Then  the  Snick  struck  a 


The  Snick  announced  the  Zagabog  would  like  to  say  tour  words 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT         127 

match  and  held  it  to  the  cigar,  and  the  Zaga- 
bog,  now  perfectly  happy,  blew  a  column  of 
smoke  into  the  air  and  settled  down  to  enjoy 
the  next  item  on  the  programme.  I  cannot  tell 
you  what  sort  of  cigars  he  smoked,  because,  if 
it  was  known,  nobody  would  ever  smoke  any 
other  sort;  but  I  may  mention  this:  it  was  a 
cheap  cigar,  and  in  the  advertisements  we  are 
always  told  that  it  possesses  the  delicious 
flavour  and  aroma  of  the  old  Havana  of  a  hun- 
dred years  ago;  and  yet  the  price  brings  it 
within  the  reach  of  the  most  modest  purse.  So, 
when  you  see  that  advertisement,  you  will  know 
the  sort  of  cigar  the  Zagabog  liked  and  still 
likes. 

Pixies  never  smoke.  Tobacco  does  not 
agree  with  them ;  besides,  many  fairies,  such  as 
the  trolls  and  dwergers  and  kobolds  and  other 
underground  people  who  work  in  the  mines, 
dare  not  do  so,  because  of  the  danger  of  ex- 
plosions. 

The  Snick  put  on  his  glasses  and  read  out 
the  second  item  in  the  programme : 


128  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"A  fairy  story  will  now  be  told  by  Hans 
Christian  Andersen!" 

This  announcement  was  well  received,  and 
the  aged  sprite  who  went  by  that  most  famous 
of  all  names  in  all  the  Realms  of  Fairie  got  up 
and  waited  quietly  for  the  applause  to  cease. 
He  was  very,  very  old,  and  his  face  was  like 
a  wrinkled  walnut-shell,  and  his  eyes  were 
black,  and  his  hair  and  beard  were  white  as 
a  tuft  of  the  cotton-grass  that  dances  over  a 
Dartmoor  bog  and  tells  you  to  look  out  where 
you  are  going.  This  ancient  person  had  al- 
ways been  a  great  teller  of  stories,  and  some  he 
invented;  but  the  best  that  he  told  were  about 
things  that  had  really  happened  to  fairies  in 
the  past;  and  the  ones  they  liked  most  of  all 
were  about  their  adventures  with  human 
beings. 

Now  Hans  Christian  Andersen  cleared  his 
throat,  sucked  a  honeydew  lozenge  to  steady 
his  vocal  cords,  and  began  with  all  the  ease  and 
finish  of  a  skilled  story-teller  the  tale  of 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT         129 

THE  OLD  WOMAN  AND  THE  TULIPS. 

"In  the  days  of  Your  Majesty's  great- 
grandfather we  pixies  had  rather  more  to  do 
with  human  beings  than  is  at  present  the  case. 
The  deterioration  of  mortals  set  in  about  a 
hundred  years  ago,  and  it  has  steadily  in- 
creased, with  the  result  we  have  had  less  and 
less  to  do  with  them;  and  I  fear  that  before 
long  our  relations  with  the  human  kind  will 
cease  altogether.  The  fault,  I  need  hardly  say 
in  this  company,  is  their  own,  and  nobody  is 
likely  to  contradict  me  when  I  add  that  the  loss 
will  also  be  theirs." 

At  this  point  in  the  story  Charles  was 
horrified  to  hear  Unity  interrupt  the  speak- 
er. 

In  her  tiny  but  shrill  voice  she  piped  out 
these  words : 

"I  wonder  if  you  would  make  it  easier, 
please.  I  don't  know  what  you  are  talking 
about!" 


130  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Some  fairies  cried  "Hush!  hush!"  and  the 
Snick  said  "Order !"  and  De  Quincey  was  furi- 
ous that  any  guest  of  his  should  do  such  a 
rude  thing,  and  Charles  was  just  going  to 
apologise  humbly  for  his  sister  on  account  of 
her  age  when  the  old  fairy  spoke. 

"You  are  perfectly  right,"  he  said.  "I 
stand  corrected.  When  anybody  uses  a  word 
of  more  than  three  syllables  in  a  fairy  story 
he  doesn't  know  his  business.  It  sha'n't  occur 
again." 

"At  the  same  time,"  declared  the  King,  "I 
insist  on  knowing  who  interrupted." 

De  Quincey  got  up. 

"A  human  girl,  your  Royal  Highness,"  he 
explained.  "Her  brother,  who  is  a  human 
boy,  is  here  as  my  guest,  and  I  understand 
from  him  that  she  would  come.  I  owe  it  to 
myself,  however,  to  declare  that  she  was  not 
invited." 

"We  will  look  into  the  matter  after  the  en- 
tertainment," said  the  King.  Then  he  turned 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT          131 

to  Hans  Christian  Andersen  and  bade  him  pro- 
ceed. 

"In  the  time  of  Your  Majesty's  great- 
grandfather/' resumed  the  story-teller,  "there 
was  an  old  woman  who  lived  by  the  river  Dart, 
and  she  grew  very  lovely  tulips  in  her  garden. 
They  were  white  and  scarlet  and  yellow  and 
purple;  and  some  were  streaked  and  some 
were  blotched,  and  some  were  splashed  with 
a  lovely  mixture  of  dawn  and  sunset  colours. 
She  was  a  good  old  woman,  and  the  fairies 
liked  her  so  well  that  they  used  to  churn  her 
butter  for  her,  and  clean  her  cottage,  and  look 
after  her  bees,  and  do  all  the  thousand  other 
things  that  fairies  can  do  for  mortals,  if 
mortals  will  only  permit  them.  In  exchange 
for  these  kind  acts  the  old  woman  let  us  have 
the  free  use  of  her  tulip-bed,  and  in  the  Spring 
all  the  fairy  mothers  used  to  take  their  babies 
to  the  tulips,  because  there  is  no  better  and 
pleasanter  cradle  for  a  baby  than  a  tulip  in 
full  bloom.  When  the  sun  is  out  the  tulip 


132  THE  FLINT  HEART 

opens  wide,  but  when  the  sun  sets  the  tulip 
shuts  up  again;  and  so,  you  see,  as  a  cradle 
it  is  a  perfect  flower,  and  I  have  known  as 
many  as  a  hundred  fairy  babies  lying  in  the 
tulips  at  one  time  while  their  mothers  rocked 
the  stems.  Then,  at  evening,  the  tulips  and 
the  babies  would  all  go  to  sleep  together,  and 
the  petals  of  the  flowers  would  close  tight,  so 
that  no  wandering  rascal  of  a  spider  or  beetle 
could  blunder  in  upon  the  babies  and  frighten 
them,  or  rain  fall  upon  them  if  there  chanced 
to  be  a  shower. 

"It  was  one  of  the  great  events  of  the  fairy 
year  when  the  tulips  came  out;  and  after  that 
pleasant  old  woman  died,  as  even  the  best  of 
mortals  and  fairies  have  to  do,  we  all  hoped 
that  some  equally  nice  old  woman  would  come 
to  the  cottage  and  take  care  of  the  tulips. 
But,  alas!  instead  of  another  nice  old  woman, 
there  came  a  very  horrid  young  man,  and  he 
dug  up  the  tulips,  flung  them  into  the  river, 
and  planted  rows  of  turnips  there  instead. 
Your  Majesty's  great-grandfather  was  furi- 


THE  ENTERTAINMENT          133 

ous,  and  so  was  everybody  else;  but  that  did 
not  make  any  difference.  I  need  hardly  tell 
you  that  we  took  very  good  care  the  horrid 
young  man's  horrid  young  turnips  were  a 
great  failure;  and,  indeed,  we  allowed  nothing 
to  grow  on  that  piece  of  land  again.  He  tried 
all  sorts  of  things,  but  he  never  tried  tulips, 
which  were  the  only  plants  that  we  should 
have  permitted  to  prosper.  And  the  end  of 
the  story  is  that  we  always  looked  after  that 
good  old  woman's  grave  in  the  churchyard  at 
Widecombe.  There  was  nobody  else  belong- 
ing to  her  who  cared  to  do  so;  but  we  did,  out 
of  gratitude  to  her  memory;  and  never  a  weed 
grew  there,  and  never  a  mole  burrowed  there ; 
but  the  grass  was  always  trim  and  neat,  and 
a  white  violet  was  the  sole  flower  that  we  al- 
lowed to  grow  upon  it.  And  that  is  the  end 
of  my  simple  tale." 

Then  the  old  fairy  bowed  and  sat  down. 

"A  good  enough  story,  but  rather  too  sad 
for  the  occasion,"  said  the  King. 

The  Zagabog,  however,  thought  very  highly 


134  THE  FLINT  HEART 

of  it,  and  complimented  Hans  Christian  Ander- 
sen on  his  language,  and  took  wine  with  him, 
and  hoped  that  the  telling  the  story  had  not 
made  him  tired. 

The  Snick  then  made  an  announcement. 

"The  first  half  of  our  entertainment  is  now 
concluded,"  he  said,  "and  before  we  proceed 
to  the  second  half  there  will  be  an  interval  of 
fifteen  minutes  for  refreshments." 


CHAPTER  X 
THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY 

The  next  item  of  the  programme  was  a 
dance  of  three  hundred  and  fifty  fairies.  A 
fine  stage  appeared  at  one  end  of  the  banquet- 
ing-hall,  and  when  the  salmon-and-shrimp 
sun  went  out  a  curtain  rose  and  the  three  hun- 
dred and  fifty  fairies  appeared  in  companies  of 
fifty. 

The  first  company  wore  emeralds,  and  they 
glittered  like  dawn  beating  upon  the  foliage 
of  the  birches  at  a  forest  edge  in  Spring- 
time. The  second  company  wore  sapphires, 
and  they  shone  like  sunlight  on  the  deep  blue 
sea.  The  third  company  wore  topaz,  and  they 
gleamed  like  honey  through  the  comb,  or  the 
ripe  corn-fields  ready  for  harvest.  The  fourth 
company  wore  rubies,  and  they  sparkled  like 

135 


136  THE  FLINT  HEART 

wine-red  seaweed  rippling  through  the  ringers 
of  the  tide.  The  fifth  company  wore  fire  opals, 
and  their  loveliness  was  the  loveliness  of  a  king- 
fisher twinkling  beside  a  river,  or  the  loveliness 
of  the  northern  streamers  in  an  arctic  sky,  or 
the  loveliness  of  the  Mother  of  the  Pearls.  The 
sixth  company  wore  sardonyx,  and  they  moved 
in  the  tender  light  that  comes  at  afterglow, 
or  peeps  from  the  scented  hearts  of  the  tea- 
roses.  The  seventh  company  wore  diamonds, 
and  blazed  with  the  arches  of  rainbows  and  the 
dazzle  of  lightning  and  the  cold  frosty  fire  of 
the  fixed  stars. 

As  a  mere  detail,  which  may  interest  any 
of  you  who  have  money  in  the  Post-Office  Sav- 
ings Bank,  I  may  mention  that  all  the  gems 
worn  in  that  dance  of  the  seven  companies  were 
worth  together  exactly  100,100,400,100,700, 
3OO,8oo/.  3^.  6d.  But  a  matter  of  that  kind  is 
of  no  account  to  fairies,  because  they  go  and 
come  through  the  gem-mines  of  the  earth  and 
never  confuse  value  and  beauty,  or  mistake 
one  for  the  other,  as  we  so  often  do. 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        137 

The  dance  wound  and  turned  and  twisted 
and  frisked  and  frolicked  and  sank  and 
sprang  up  again,  and  splintered  and  mended 
and  wandered  and  meandered  and  broke 
into  new  figures  until  the  eyes  of  Charles 
and  Unity  ached  at  so  much  amazing 
colour.  It  continued  for  an  hour,  and  some- 
times one  company  rested  and  sometimes 
only  one  danced;  and  then,  at  the  end, 
when  the  glorious  ballet  was  done  and  the 
dance  of  the  jewels  had  come  to  its  close  in 
slow  throbbing  music,  produced  by  ten  basso 
frogs  croaking  in  time  and  tune — then  each 
company  parted  from  the  next,  and  each  took 
the  shape  of  a  letter;  and  the  letters  were 

ZAGABOG. 

So  that  was  the  end  of  the  great  dance,  and 
the  Zagabog  declared  how  in  all  his  expe- 
rience of  dancing  he  had  never  seen  any  dance 
that  had  pleased  him  better,  and  only  a  dozen 
or  so  that  had  pleased  him  as  well.  He  con- 
gratulated the  companies,  and  the  dancing- 


138  THE  FLINT  HEART 

master  and  the  dancing-mistress,  and  the  artist 
fairy  who  had  designed  the  dresses,  and  the 
artist  fairies  who  had  made  them,  and,  in  fact, 
everybody  concerned. 

Then  happened  a  thing  which  looked  unfor- 
tunate at  first;  but  it  turned  out  to  be  very 
fortunate  indeed  in  the  long  run. 

Several  fairies  whispered  to  the  Snick  and 
gravely  shook  their  heads ;  so  he  rose  and  made 
an  announcement. 

"Your  Majesties,  Mr.  Zagabog,  ladies  and 
gentlemen  and  beasts,  our  next  item  on  the 
programme,  which  was  to  have  concluded  our 
entertainment,  cannot,  I  regret  to  say,  take 
place.  The  famous  insect-tamer,  Von  Hum- 
boldt,  had  hoped  to  introduce  his  troupe  of  per- 
forming caterpillars  to  your  notice;  but  owing 
to  an  unforeseen  interference  of  Nature,  his 
talented  company  have  all  turned  into  chrys- 
alides during  the  night,  and  until  they  reap- 
pear in  the  shape  of  butterflies,  which  will  not 
happen  for  a  considerable  time,  he  cannot  give 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY         139 

us  a  performance.  He  much  regrets  your 
natural  disappointment,  but,  as  he  very  truly 
remarks,  'it  can't  be  helped.' ' 

A  sound  of  sorrow  arose  from  the  company, 
and  some  of  the  younger  fairies  even  cried. 
But  then  the  Zagabog  beckoned  to  the  Snick, 
and  in  a  few  moments  the  Snick  addressed  the 
company  again. 

"I  am  delighted  to  inform  you  that  Mr.  Zag- 
abog himself  has  most  generously  and  kindly 
consented  to  take  the  place  of  the  performing 
caterpillars  and  tell  us  a  story !" 

Immense  cheering  greeted  this  good 
news,  and  the  Zagabog  stuck  his  cigar  in  the 
corner  of  his  mouth  so  as  not  to  interfere  with 
his  talking,  winked  his  sea-green  eyes  thought- 
fully once  or  twice,  and  then  began : 

"When  I  tell  you  that  I  am  going  to  relate 
the  true  story  of  the  Hare  and  the  Tortoise, 
I  know  quite  well  what  you'll  say.  You'll  say 
'We've  heard  it  before';  but  you  haven't. 
However,  even  the  youngest  of  us  sometimes 


140  THE  FLINT  HEART 

make  mistakes,  and  so  I'll  forgive  you  all. 
The  true  story  is  quite  different  from  the  one 
you  know,  and  the  moral  is  quite  different, 
and,  in  fact,  everything  about  it.  And  if  you 
also  tell  me  that  you  don't  want  to  hear  a  story 
with  a  moral,  then  I  can  only  beg  you  to  excuse 
me  this  once,  because  I  am  rather  old- 
fashioned,  and,  in  my  young  days,  we  had 
morals  to  all  our  stories.  But  you  can  easily 
forget  the  moral  again  after  you  have  heard  it, 
and  it  isn't  an  uncomfortable  moral,  and,  in 
fact,  it  wouldn't  hurt  a  fly. 

"Now  first  I  must  ask  you  to  consider  the 
subject  of  points.  There  are  the  points  of 
mountains,  and  the  points  of  tintacks,  and  the 
points  of  jokes,  and  so  one.  For  every  one  of 
your  senses  there  are  points.  Some  you  see, 
as  the  mountain;  and  some  you  feel,  as  the 
tintack;  and  some  you  smell,  as  the  point  of 
my  cigar;  and  some  you  hear,  as  the  point  of 
a  joke;  and  some  you  taste,  as  the  point  of 
a  barley-sugar  stick.  But  there  are  two  points 
more  important  than  any  of  these,  and  one  we 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        141 

have  all  got,  and  one  we  all  ought  to  have. 
The  point  that  we  have  all  got  is  the  point  of 
our  noses;  and  the  point  that  we  all  ought  to 
have  is  the  Point  of  View.  The  Point  of 
View  is  the  most  important  of  all  points,  and 
everybody  should  have  his  own  in  the  first 
place,  and  everybody  should  be  very  tender  to 
everybody  else's  Point  of  View  in  the  second 
place,  because  a  Point  of  View  is  always  a 
tender  thing. 

"Which  admirable  reflection  brings  me  to 
the  true  story  of  the  Hare  and  the  Tortoise. 

"The  hare  was  a  jovial,  rollicking  chap,  and 
full  of  fun.  He  did  not  think  much  of  his  own 
powers,  and  was  always  ready  to  credit  other 
people  with  more  skill  and  cleverness  than  he 
himself  possessed.  He  had  a  good  sense  of 
humour,  as  modest  people  often  have,  and  he 
enjoyed  a  joke  as  well  as  anybody.  And  he 
had  a  kind  heart  and  a  good  store  of  sympathy 
for  other  creatures;  and  the  creature  with 
which  he  most  sympathised  was  the  tortoise. 
He  was  always  cheering  up  the  tortoise,  and 


142  THE  FLINT  HEART 

praising  his  good  points,  and  admiring  the 
pattern  of  his  shell,  and  so  on;  and  sometimes 
he  would  stop  from  his  own  gambols  for  half 
an  hour  at  a  time  just  to  talk  with  the  tortoise, 
or  put  a  little  furniture  polish  on  his  back,  or 
bring  him  some  delicacy  which  grew  too  far 
away  for  the  tortoise  to  reach  it  himself. 

"Now  the  tortoise,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  was 
not  a  sympathetic  character.  He  had  been 
badly  brought  up,  and  he  took  narrow  views 
of  life,  and  was  jealous  and  rather  given  to 
seeing  the  worst  of  people  instead  of  the  best. 
His  real  good  qualities  he  hid  carefully,  but 
he  paraded  some  rather  silly  little  tricks  and 
habits;  and  he  had  some  wrong  opinions  and 
was  rather  bad  form  altogether.  One  of  his 
wrongest  opinions  centred  in  the  notion  that 
he  could  run.  But,  of  course,  this  was  just 
the  thing  of  all  others  that  he  could  not  do. 
If  he  had  said  that  he  was  a  champion  sleeper 
nobody  would  have  doubted  it,  for  he  might 
justly  have  prided  himself  on  his  powers  in 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY         143 

that  direction.  He  could  tuck  himself  up  in 
his  own  shell  and  go  to  sleep  for  six  months; 
and  that  was  rather  wonderful,  and  he  had  a 
right  to  be  proud  of  it.  But  like  a  good  many 
other  people  who  scorn  their  own  sort  of  clev- 
erness and  claim  another  sort  which  they 
haven't  got,  the  tortoise  thought  nothing  of  his 
great  sleeping  talents,  but  crawled  about  at 
the  rate  of  a  yard  an  hour  and  said  that  not 
the  fox  nor  the  hare  nor  the  antelope  nor  the 
greyhound  could  keep  up  with  him  if  he  really 
liked  to  make  haste. 

"He  quite  believed  this  himself.  You  must 
give  him  credit  for  that.  It  seemed  to  him, 
as  he  waddled  along,  putting  down  each  leg 
as  slowly  as  the  minute-hand  of  a  big  clock 
moves,  that  he  was  going  at  a  fearful  rate  of 
speed.  He  had  often  passed  a  snail  or  a  slug, 
and  so  he  concluded  that  he  was  rattling  along 
quicker  than  a  seventy-horse-power  motor- 
car; and  when  people  chaffed  him  about  it,  he 
thought  that  this  was  their  jealousy,  and 


144  THE  FLINT  HEART 

got  sulky  and  drew  his  head  into  his  shell,  and 
wouldn't  come  out  again  until  the  subject  was 
changed  or  an  apology  had  been  offered. 

'Then  fell  a  day  when  the  hare  and  his 
friends  were  having  a  talk  about  this  silly  idea 
of  the  tortoise;  and  the  kind-hearted  hare 
stuck  up  for  him  and  said :  Tray  don't  destroy 
his  illusions.  Consider  what  a  wretched  life 
he  leads;  remember  his  disadvantages.  He 
has  had  no  education;  he  has  only  seen  about 
ten  yards  of  the  world ;  he  is  not  a  reader ;  he 
is  not  a  thinker;  he  cares  neither  for  music 
nor  the  drama ;  art  means  nothing  to  him ;  and 
his  friends  are  like  himself — small-hearted 
and  pig-headed.  He  lives  a  cheerless,  empty 
existence — a  slow  existence  in  every  sense  of 
the  word.  But  the  one  bright  spot  in  it  is 
this  grotesque  idea  that  he  is  such  a  flyer. 
Don't  laugh  at  him  about  it:  it  isn't  kind. 
Let  him  go  on  thinking  that  he  is  the  swiftest 
beast  that  runs.  It  doesn't  do  us  any  harm  for 
him  to  think  so,  and  it  does  him  a  deal  of  good. 
If  he  knew  that  he  was  almost  the  slowest  of 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        145 

all  beasts,  and  almost  the  least  interesting,  he 
would  lose  his  self-respect,  and  so  his  deadly, 
dull,  creepy  life  would  be  deadlier  and  duller 
and  creepier  than  ever/ 

"  Some  people  agreed  with  the  hare  and 
some  did  not;  but  a  rumour  of  the  conversa- 
tion got  to  the  tortoise,  and  he  grew  furious. 
Pity  from  a  giddy  worldly  person  like  the  hare 
was  more  than  he  could  stand,  though  he 
might  have  been  considered  pretty  thick- 
shelled  over  most  things.  But  he  lost  his 
temper  in  this  matter,  and  he  also  lost  his  judg- 
ment, with  the  result  that  he  issued  a  challenge 
in  the  sporting  papers  to  run  the  hare  three 
miles  level  for  a  bunch  of  bananas  a-side. 
The  winner  was  to  take  both  bunches  and  be 
called  'Champion  Runner  of  all  the  Beasts/ 

"  'Now/  said  the  fox  to  the  hare,  'you've 
got  him  at  your  mercy,  and  I  hope  you'll  show 
him,  once  for  all,  what  an  old  fool  he  is.  You 
could  give  him  two  miles  and  seventeen  hun- 
dred and  fifty  yards  and  then  beat  him;  and, 
though  I  don't  eat  bananas  myself,  I  wish 


146  THE  FLINT  HEART 

you  joy  of  both  bunches,  for  win  you  must.' 

"  Well,  the  hare  accepted  the  challenge,  and 
he  pretended  to  go  into  training  and  make  ter- 
rific preparations  for  the  struggle;  but  in  his 
big  and  kind  heart  he  had  determined  to  let 
the  tortoise  win ! 

"  'You  see/  he  said  to  his  wife,  who  alone 
knew  the  secret,  'if  the  poor  old  beggar  crawls 
home  first,  it  will  be  the  red-letter  day  of  his 
life,  and  he'll  have  something  to  think  of  for 
evermore;  and  you  know  how  fearfully  long 
tortoises  live.  It  will  brighten  up  his  future 
and  be  something  for  him  to  talk  big  about  and 
tell  his  children  a  hundred  years  hence." 

"But  the  hare's  wife  did  not  agree  with  him. 
She  had  no  sense  of  humour.  She  was  a 
practical  doe,  and  she  thought  that  it  would  be 
foolish  to  lose  a  bunch  of  bananas  for  a  silly 
piece  of  sentiment.  However,  the  hare  was 
firm,  and  he  told  his  friends  not  to  bet  on  him, 
because  he  meant  to  lose  if  he  possibly  could. 

"And  the  tortoise  went  into  training,  too, 
and  got  himself  into  fine  condition  by  eating 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY         147 

nothing  but  clover  for  a  week.  Then  he 
asked  a  friend  to  time  him,  and  he  found  that 
he  could  easily  go  ten  yards  in  five  minutes, 
so  he  considered  the  victory  as  good  as  won. 

"All  the  beasts  assembled  to  see  the  great 
race;  and  from  here  my  story  goes  on  rather 
like  the  one  you  know.  Only  now  you  have 
a  different  Point  of  View,  and  so  understand 
the  tale  better  than  you  did  until  this  evening. 
Your  Point  of  View  was  wrong.  But  I  have 
put  it  right,  and  it  will  never  go  wrong  again, 
I  hope — not  on  this  subject  at  any  rate. 

"The  hare  pretended  there  was  plenty  of 
time,  and  strolled  about,  and  talked  to  friends, 
and  nibbled  a  dandelion,  and  entered  into  an 
argument  as  to  whether  harriers  or  foxhounds 
could  run  the  faster.  Then  he  sat  down  and 
read  the  newspaper ;  then  he  attended  a  lecture 
on  the  rotation  of  crops;  then  he  had  a  bath; 
then  he  enjoyed  his  lunch;  and  then  he  took  a 
nap. 

"Meanwhile  the  tortoise  was  thundering 
along  at  the  rate  of  rather  more  than  a  hun- 


148  THE  FLINT  HEART 

dred  yards  an  hour.  He  only  knew  the  hare 
was  behind  him,  and  that  was  all  he  cared 
about,  because  if  his  opponent  didn't  get  in 
front  of  course  he  couldn't  win.  The  tortoise 
looked  neither  to  the  right  nor  to  the  left;  but 
kept  forward  steadily  day  and  night,  while  his 
friends  fed  him  with  mustard  and  cress  every 
half-hour.  As  for  the  hare,  he  spent  a  week- 
end with  relations  on  the  other  side  of  the 
county ;  and  from  time  to  time  the  fox  brought 
him  word  how  the  tortoise  was  getting  on. 
In  a  fortnight,  or  rather  more,  it  got  about 
that  the  tortoise  would  soon  be  ripping  home. 
Then  the  hare  had  his  hair  cut,  was  measured 
for  three  new  suits  of  clothes,  gave  a  bridge 
party,  wrote  up  his  diary,  took  the  chair  at  a 
meeting  to  abolish  jugging  and  red-currant 
jelly,  and  one  morning  sauntered  down  to  the 
starting-point  of  the  race. 

"The  fox  trotted  up  and  explained  that  the 
tortoise  had  still  fifty  yards  to  finish,  so  the 
hare  chatted  for  a  few  minutes  longer ;  then  he 
changed  his  clothes,  put  on  his  running  draw- 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        149 

ers  and  his  spiked  shoes,  kissed  his  family, 
asked  one  or  two  riddles,  played  a  couple  of 
games  of  lawn-tennis  with  his  daughters,  and 
finally  started.  He  ran  slowly  as  he  possibly 
could,  and  with  the  greatest  difficulty,  by  pre- 
tending to  fall  lame,  he  managed  to  be  beaten 
by  a  length.  And  the  length  was  the  length 
of  the  tortoise,  not  the  hare. 

"After  the  race  the  tortoise  fainted,  and  he 
only  recovered  when  they  played  'See  the  con- 
quering hero  comes'  into  his  ear.  He  was 
pleased,  but  not  in  the  least  surprised  at  his 
victory.  And  that  is  the  end  of  the  true  story 
of  the  Hare  and  the  Tortoise." 

Three  cheers  were  given  for  the  Zagabog, 
and  the  Snick  hurried  forward  with  another 
match  and  re-lighted  the  Zagabog's  cigar, 
which  had  gone  out. 

Then,  louder  than  the  chirrup  of  the  fairies, 
came  the  clear  voice  of  Unity  from  her  seat  at 
the  table. 

"I  wonder,"  she  said,  "what  happened  after- 
wards?" 


150  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Nothing  happened  afterwards,  because 
that's  the  end  of  the  story,"  answered  De 
Quincey;  but  the  Zagabog,  whose  ears  were 
very  sharp,  heard  the  question,  and  it  rather 
pleased  him. 

"Human  girl,"  he  said,  "nobody  within  my 
knowledge  has  ever  asked  before  what  hap- 
pened afterwards.  I  consider  it  an  excellent 
question,  and  I  shall  be  delighted  to  answer 
it" 

The  Snick  cried  "Hush!  hush!  Order  for 
Mr.  Zagabog !"  and  then  the  Zagabog  went  on 
again. 

"After  the  tortoise  had  won  the  race  and  got 
back  his  breath,  which  took  a  week,  he  began 
boasting  and  bragging  of  his  amazing  victory, 
and  he  couldn't  see  for  a  moment  that  the  hare 
had  let  him  win  out  of  pure  kindness.  But  he 
made  so  much  noise  and  gave  himself  so  many 
airs  that  at  last  the  fox,  observing  what  an 
ungrateful  idiot  the  tortoise  was  in  this  mat- 
ter, thought  he  might  win  a  little  advantage 
to  himself  out  of  it.  And  he  challenged  the 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        151 

tortoise  to  another  race,  for  five  pounds  a-side 
and  a  champagne  lunch ;  and,  much  to  his  joy, 
the  tortoise  instantly  accepted.  'If  I  can  beat 
the  hare,  I  can  beat  the  fox/  said  the  tortoise 
very  grandly.  '  He  may  just  as  well  give  me 
five  pounds  and  order  the  champagne  lunch, 
and  have  done  with  it.'8 

"Now  we  know  what  was  the  hare's  Point  of 
View  when  he  let  the  tortoise  win ;  but  the  fox 
took  quite  a  different  Point  of  View,  and  a 
much  more  usual  one.  His  rule  in  life  was  to 
get  all  he  could  out  of  everybody  always,  and 
he  never  allowed  himself  time  to  consider 
other  people's  feelings  or  anything  of  that 
sort.  You  see,  there  was  no  poetry  or  nobility 
about  the  fox's  mind.  He  was  not  a  gentle- 
man at  heart,  but  merely  a  smart  fox  of  busi- 
ness. So  when  they  gave  the  signal  to  start 
he  did  start;  and  all  the  tortoise  saw  was  a 
streak  of  cinnamon-coloured  light  with  a  white 
tip  behind,  like  the  lamp  on  the  end  of  a  train. 
It  slipped  along  at  the  rate  of  about  a  hundred 
miles  an  hour;  and  before  the  tortoise  had 


152  THE  FLINT  HEART 

fairly  got  into  his  stride,  he  was  told  that  he 
might  stop  again  and  go  home  and  order  the 
champagne  lunch,  because  the  fox  had  won. 
So,  you  see,  when  the  human  girl  asked  to 
know  what  happened  afterwards,  she  asked 
something  that  was  quite  worth  knowing." 

The  Zagabog  smiled  at  Unity  and  she 
smiled  back,  and  the  fairies  made  more  fuss 
than  ever  about  her,  finding  that  she  was  clever 
as  well  as  beautiful. 

Then  there  was  a  whisper  that  the  time  had 
come  for  the  ices;  but  before  they  arrived,  the 
Snick,  who,  though  perhaps  a  little  vain,  was 
highly  conscientious,  hurried  up  to  the  Zaga- 
bog and  whispered  in  his  ear. 

"Pardon  me;  you've  forgotten  the  Moral!" 

The  Zagabog  seemed  rather  sorry  to  be  re- 
minded about  the  Moral ;  but  he  knew  the  Snick 
was  right,  and  so  he  called  for  silence  and  told 
them  the  Moral  of  his  Story. 

"The  Moral,  of  course,  is  that  you  must  al- 
ways try  to  see  their  Point  of  View  before  you 
criticise  anybody.  Histories  are  crammed  full 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  STORY        153 

of  unkind  things,  and  silly  things,  and  untrue 
things — why?  Because  the  people  who  write 
them  so  often  will  not  try  to  see  or  feel  any 
Point  of  View  but  their  own.  And  so  our 
good,  amiable  hare  has  been  quite  misunder- 
stood for  thousands  of  years ;  and  the  tortoise, 
too.  False  history  has  been  written  about 
them,  just  because  nobody  knew  the  Point  of 
View.  So  mind  that  you  look  out  always  for 
the  Point  of  View  and  help  people  to  see  yours, 
too,  if  you  want  them  to  understand  you." 

I'm  afraid  nobody  paid  much  attention  to  the 
Moral,  except  Charles  and  De  Quincey  and  the 
King  of  the  Fairies.  And  even  they  soon 
ceased  to  think  about  it  when  the  ices  came  in. 


CHAPTER  XI 

THE   SAD    STRANGER 

After  the  ices  Ship,  who  was  not  interested 
in  them,  came  and  pulled  Unity's  speedwell 
dress,  and,  I  regret  to  say,  tore  it  rather  badly. 
He  looked  anxious,  and  it  was  quite  clear  that 
he  remembered  the  time  better  than  Unity  or 
her  brother.  So  Charles  inquired  of  De 
Quincey  whether  he  might  be  permitted  to  ask 
the  Zagabog  his  question  now,  and  De  Quincey 
asked  the  Snick,  and  the  Snick  asked  the  Zag- 
abog, and  the  Zagabog  said : 

"Delighted." 

He  was  always  ready  to  oblige  a  human 
boy. 

Charles  walked  up  the  room  and  bowed  very 
properly  to  the  King  and  the  Queen  and  the 

154 


The  Snick  is  consulting  my  volumes  of  '  Who's  Who ' ' 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  155 

Zagabog.  Then  he  told  them  how  much  his 
father  had  changed,  and  how  nice  he  used  to 
be  and  how  nasty  he  was.  Charles  went  on  to 
explain  about  the  Meeting  and  about  the  gift, 
and  he  asked  if  the  Zagabog  would  be  so  very 
kind  as  to  decide  what  this  gift  had  better  be. 

The  Zagabog  heard  him  patiently  and  then 
spoke. 

"What  is  your  father's  name  ?"  he  inquired. 

"Billy  Jago,  please,  sir,"  answered  Charles. 

The  Zagabog  turned  to  the  Snick  and  said : 

"Lookup  William  Jago!" 

And  the  Snick  bowed,  rose,  and  hurried  to  a 
large  pile  of  bright  red  books  in  a  corner  of  the 
hall. 

"The  Snick  is  consulting  my  volumes  of 
'Who's  Who,' '  explained  the  Zagabog. 
"Needless  to  say,  I  never  travel  without  them. 
Everybody  is  mentioned.  I  am  told  that  an 
earthly  volume  which  goes  by  the  same  name 
is  very  incomplete ;  and  the  excuse  is  that  they 
never  put  in  anybody  who  is  not  somebody. 


156  THE  FLINT  HEART 

But  this  is  no  excuse  at  all;  in  fact,  it  is  non- 
sense, because  everybody  is  somebody,  and  I 
challenge  anybody  to  deny  it." 

Of  course  nobody  could. 

The  Snick  turned  up  the  J's  and  found  Mr. 
William  Jago.  He  then  brought  the  volume 
which  contained  Billy's  doings  to  the  Zagabog ; 
and  the  Zagabog  read  it  and  shook  his  head 
rather  sadly. 

"That  rascally  friend  of  mine,  the  Thunder 
Spirit — what  a  hot-headed  boy  he  is  still !  To 
think  that  Phutt  and  Fum — " 

Here  he  broke  off,  and  the  fairies  all  stared 
and  kept  silence,  because  they  knew  not  what 
was  in  the  Zagabog' s  mind. 

He  thought  for  a  moment;  then  he  shut  the 
book,  gave  it  back  to  the  Snick,  and  spoke. 

"This  it  not  a  case  for  a  gift,"  he  said  to 
Charles.  "In  fact,  quite  the  contrary.  You 
mustn't  give  your  father  anything.  You  must 
take  something  away  from  him." 

"Oh,  dear!"  said  Charles.  "He  won't  like 
that.  He  never  parts  with  anything  now." 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  157 

"He  need  know  nothing  about  it,"  explained 
the  Zagabog.  "In  an  old  waistcoat  of  your 
father  which  hangs  on  a  nail  in  an  outhouse 
at  Merripit  Farm  there  is  a  Flint  Heart.  Get 
rid  of  that,  and  all  will  be  well." 

"Thank  you  very,  very  much,  sir,"  said 
Charles ;  "and  I  should  like  to  say  that  my  sis- 
ter and  me  are  terrible  obliged  to  you  and  to 
everybody,  and  we  bid  you  a  very  good- 
night; and  if  ever  'tis  in  our  power  to  do 
anything  for  the  pixies,  I  hope  they'll  tell  us 
what  'tis." 

"Capital !"  said  the  King. 

"Nicely  spoken,"  declared  the  Queen. 

Then  Unity,  just  as  she  was  being  taken 
away  by  the  fairies  to  put  on  her  own  frock 
again,  said — very  loudly: 

"I  wonder  if  I  might  kiss  the  Zagabog?" 

The  Snick  hurried  forward:  he  was  evi- 
dently rather  shocked. 

"Hush!  hush!"  he  said.  "I  hope  to  good- 
ness he  didn't  hear  you!  The  Zagabog  never 
kisses  anybody,  and  only  very  great  people  in- 


158  THE  FLINT  HEART 

deed  are  allowed  to  kiss  him.     And  even  then 
only  the  tip  of  his  little  finger !" 

But  the  amiable  old  pre-Cambrian  Zagabog 
hated  all  this  fuss. 

"  Come  here,  human  girl,  and  kiss  me !"  he 
said. 

And,  of  course,  Unity  went;  and  the  Zag- 
abog picked  her  up  in  his  hairy  paws  and 
kissed  her;  and  she  looked  into  his  green  eyes 
and  saw  that  they  were  really  a  pair  of  the 
most  wonderful  opera-glasses,  through  which 
she  beheld  all  the  past  and  all  the  present  and 
all  the  future  at  once. 

Of  course,  she  didn't  understand  much  that 
she  saw ;  but  even  the  little  she  did  understand 
was  something,  and  it  helped  to  make  her  the 
cleverest  girl  on  Dartmoor  when  she  grew  up. 
It  is  only  children  of  five  or  less  that  are 
allowed  to  look  into  the  Zagabog's  eyes, 
fortunately;  for  if  grown-up  people  were 
permitted  a  peep,  I  don't  know  what  might 
happen. 

So  that  great  night  came  to  an  end,  and 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  159 

Charles  and  Unity  and  Ship  departed;  De 
Quincey  bade  them  a  friendly  farewell,  and 
his  Secretary  said  the  charm,  so  that  all  three 
became  their  natural  size  again  before  they  set 
off  home  under  a  night  of  moonshine  and 
stars. 

It  was  beautiful  in  the  woods,  and  the  white 
spears  of  the  moon  goddess  trembled  high  and 
low  and  turned  all  the  young  leaves  quite  grey ; 
and  where  the  hawthorn  shone  the  moonbeams 
rested  from  their  dancing  and  made  most  won- 
derful patterns  of  pure  silver  in  glade  and 
dingle. 

All  the  party  went  silently  along;  and  it 
seemed  so  still  and  cold  and  lonely  that  they 
began  to  get  rather  low-spirited  before  they 
reached  Merripit.  Charles  tried  once  or  twice 
to  speak  cheerfully,  but  he  felt  a  lump  in  his 
throat,  and  so  did  Unity,  and  so  did  Ship; 
though  I  believe,  between  ourselves,  that  the 
lump  in  his  throat  was  only  because  he'd  eaten 
too  many  good  things  at  the  party. 

Presently  an  owl  began  to  hoot,  and  the 


160  THE  FLINT  HEART 

sound  was  so  horribly  sad  that  Unity  broke 
down  altogether  and  sobbed  and  said : 

"I  won-won-won-won-wonder  if  we  couldn't 
go  back  and  ask  the  dear  Zag-zag-zag-abog  to 
let  us  live  with  him  instead  of  father." 

But  Charles,  when  he  found  Unity  so  sad, 
braced  himself  up  to  comfort  her.  He  didn't 
understand  why  they  were  miserable,  and 
thought  it  strange,  whereas  it  was  the  most 
natural  thing  in  the  world.  Because,  after  an 
extra  good  time,  nine  people  out  of  ten  always 
do  feel  a  little  bit  miserable,  especially  if  they 
know  the  extra  good  time  is  never  coming  back 
again.  And  that  really  is  the  worst  of  extra 
good  times — that  they  never  do  come  again 
somehow ;  and  therefore  many  people — though 
they  are  probably  wrong — prefer  not  to  have 
extra  good  times  at  all,  because  of  the  rather 
horrid  feeling  afterwards. 

But  now  they  met  somebody  who  was  more 
miserable  than  themselves. 

Suddenly  Ship  rushed  into  the  hedge,  near 
another  farm  on  their  way  home  to  Merripit, 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  161 

and  began  barking  fiercely.  Then  a  very 
strange  wheezy  voice — rather  like  ginger-beer 
overflowing  from  a  bottle — said : 

"Spare  me!  Don't,  don't  make  any  more 
holes  in  me — or  I  shall  be  utterly  dished  and 
done  for !" 

Charles  called  Ship  to  heel,  and  then  he  and 
Unity  went  to  the  hedge  and  found  a  mournful 
but  exceedingly  odd  and  unexpected  object 
there.  The  thing  was  lying  in  the  attitude  of 
that  famous  ancient  statue  known  as  "The 
Dying  Gaul" ;  but  it  was  not  a  Gaul,  and  both 
Charles  and  Unity  hoped  that  it  was  not  dying, 
though  it  looked  very  ill.  Its  body  was  oblong 
and  pale  grey.  It  had  legs  and  arms,  about  as 
thick  as  straws,  and  its  nose  evidently  screwed 
on  to  the  rest  of  its  sad  face.  This  nose  was 
round  and  made  of  brass,  which  glittered  in 
the  moonlight.  The  unhappy  thing  supported 
itself  on  one  arm,  and  there  was  an  ugly  hole 
in  its  side. 

"Who  are  you?"  asked  Charles. 

Then,  much  to  his  amazement,  the  creature 


162  THE  FLINT  HEART 

replied  in  poetry.     Afterwards  he  found  that 
when  it  was  excited  the  stranger  always  spoke 
in  verse ;  but  he  did  not  know  that  yet,  and  was 
therefore  surprised;  and  so  was  his  sister. 
Thus  spoke  the  mournful  object: 

"Oh,  I  am  a  poor  old  thing, 

And  when  my  tale  you  hear, 
Your  handkerchief  will  wring 
With  many  a  bitter  tear. 

Alas,  alas!  for  my  nose  of  brass, 
And  alas!  for  my  blighted  career. 

"But  once  I  was  young  and  bright, 

And  gay  and  full  of  cheer; 
Now  I'm  a  regular  fright, 

And  tattered  and  torn  and  queer. 

Alas,  alas!  for  my  nose  of  brass, 
And  alas !  for  my  blighted  career." 

After  this  amazing  object  sat  up  and  began 
to  talk  in  the  usual  way. 

"My  wretched  tale  is  soon  told,"  he  said. 
"In  a  word,  I  am  an  india-rubber  hot-water  bot- 
tle. I  was  made  in  Germany  and  sold  in  Lon- 
don. A  lady,  who  suffered  from  cold  feet,' 


"Who  are  you?"  asked  Charles 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  163 

bought  me,  and  I  always  went  to  bed  with  her 
and  warmed  her  toes.  She  came  to  Dartmoor 
last  year  and  stopped  at  yonder  farmhouse. 
And  when  she  went  away  again  and  returned 
to  the  metropolis,  she  left  me  behind.  Why 
she  forgot  me  I  shall  never  know,  but  I  think 
she  must  have  gone  out  of  her  senses.  The 
fault,  at  any  rate,  cannot  be  put  down  to  me. 
I  was  in  good  working  order  then !" 
He  broke  off,  sighed,  and  proceeded : 
"The  farmer's  wife  soon  found  out  my  vir- 
tues, and  even  the  farmer  himself  did  not  dis- 
dain to  avail  himself  of  my  genial  society  on 
cold  nights.  In  fact,  I  always  went  to  bed 
with  them.  They  had  no  children,  and  you 
might  almost  say,  without  straining  the  truth, 
that  they  adopted  me.  At  least,  that  was  my 
firm  impression.  But  I  had  a  weak  spot,  and 
it  proved  my  ruin.  On  one  fatal  night,  when 
I  was  fuller  than  usual  with  hotter  water  than 
usual,  I  met  with  a  sad  accident  and  lost  both 
my  home  and  my  friends.  The  friendship,  in- 
deed, was  but  a  selfish  sham.  It  could  not 


164  THE  FLINT  HEART 

stand  the  strain  of  my  unfortunate  collapse. 
They  only  cared  for  their  comfort,  not  for 
me. 

"It  was  undoubtedly  the  coldest  night  of  the 
year,  and  we  three  had  all  settled  down  to- 
gether as  usual,  when,  without  an  instant's 
warning,  I  burst.  ...  I  trust  I  am  not 
wearying  you?"  broke  off  the  poor  hot- water 
bottle  very  politely. 

"Not  at  all,"  said  Charles.  "Your  story  is 
most  exciting." 

"I  burst,"  repeated  the  hot-water  bottle.  "I 
would  have  warned  them  if  I  could,  but  it  was 
impossible.  There  was  no  time  to  do  so.  Be- 
sides, they  had  both  just  gone  off  comfortably 
to  sleep.  In  an  instant  appeared  this  hideous 
rent  in  my  side,  and  the  bed  was  flooded  with 
water  about  one  degree  less  than  at  the  boiling- 
point.  It  would  require  the  pencil  of  a 
Hogarth  to  depict  the  scene  that  followed. 
The  farmer's  wife,  badly  scalded,  leapt  from 
her  couch  under  the  impression  that  the  dwell- 
ing was  on  fire;  her  husband,  also  suffering 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  165 

from  considerable  surface  burns,  awoke  at  the 
same  moment.  But  his  intellect  moved  more 
quickly,  and  he  perceived  in  an  instant  what 
had  occurred.  With  language  which  I  will 
not  repeat  he  bounded  from  the  bed,  struck  a 
light,  seized  me  by  the  throat,  and  dragged  me 
out.  At  first  I  fondly  thought  that  he  was  go- 
ing to  attend  to  my  injuries  before  he  concerned 
himself  with  his  own ;  but,  alas !  I  was  terribly 
mistaken.  He  carried  me,  still  dripping,  to  the 
window,  opened  it,  and  hurled  me  forth  into 
twenty  degrees  of  frost!  I  have  seen  neither 
the  man  nor  his  wife  since  that  dreadful  night, 
nor  do  I  wish  to  see  them.  No  one  has  come  to 
my  rescue ;  and  I  live  here — if  one  may  call  it 
living — while  the  mice  nibble  me,  the  birds 
peck  me,  the  thorns  stick  into  me.  For  pity's 
sake  carry  me  with  you  back  to  civilisation.  I 
implore  you,  if  you  have  hearts !" 

The  poor  wretch  rose  and  fell  upon  its  knees 
before  them.  But  Ship,  knowing  with  a  dog's 
instinct  that  there  was  trouble  in  store,  kept 
pulling  at  Unity's  frock  to  come  on. 


166  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"I  wonder,"  she  said  to  the  hot-water  bottle, 
"if  we  could  mend  you?" 

"You  might,"  he  answered.  "You  might 
try.  An  operation  might  save  me.  At  any 
rate,  you  would  find  me  useful  in  your  games. 
I  would  try  to  play,  though  I  don't  feel  much 
like  sport.  Anything,  however,  would  be  bet- 
ter than  the  society  in  this  hedge." 

"Come,  then,"  answered  Charles;  and  the 
bottle,  with  a  gurgle  of  hearty  thanksgiving, 
collected  his  remaining  strength  and  leapt  into 
the  boy's  arms.  In  this  position,  however,  he 
was  not  comfortable,  so  Charles  doubled  him 
up  and  put  the  poor  soul  into  his  pocket. 

Then  he  and  Unity  set  off  running  for  home. 
Already  the  dawn  was  glimmering  over  the 
Moor,  the  moonlight  was  dead,  and  the  cuckoo 
had  begun  to  call  sleepily  from  the  "Cuckoo 
Rock" — his  favourite  perch — near  Merripit 
Farm.  In  the  yard  the  children  met  their 
father  and  John,  who  was  grown  up.  Both 
were  in  a  great  fright,  and  when  they  saw 
Charles  and  Unity  and  Ship  they  relieved  their 


THE  SAD  STRANGER  167 

feelings  by  being  fearfully  cross  with  all  three. 

Mr.  Jago  took  Charles  and  cuffed  his  ears  till 
they  were  redder  than  the  sky ;  then  he  opened 
a  stable-door  and  thrust  him  in;  and  then  he 
whipped  Unity,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  and  pushed 
her  into  the  stable  after  Charles.  He  locked 
them  both  up  there,  and  told  them  they  need 
not  expect  any  breakfast  or  dinner  or  tea  that 
day.  Meanwhile,  John  had  kicked  Ship  very 
cruelly  into  his  kennel.  After  that,  father  and 
son  went  back  to  bed  again,  and  Billy  Jago  told 
his  anxious  wife  that  the  children  had  come 
back  and  were  locked  up  in  the  stable. 

But  though  Charles  and  Unity  felt  rather 
sad  about  such  a  harsh  welcome  and  such  a 
frosty  end  to  their  adventures,  they  did  not 
mind  much,  because  they  knew  that  their  Point 
of  View  was  good. 

"To-morrow,"  said  Charles,  "we  will  get  the 
Flint  Heart  out  of  father's  waistcoat,  and  when 
once  it  has  gone,  everything  will  be  all  right, 
no  doubt." 

The  old  cart-horse  in  the  stable  was  lying 


i68  THE  FLINT  HEART 

down  fast  asleep,  and  Unity  and  Charles  went 
close  to  him  and  soon  slept  with  their  heads  on 
his  stomach.  And  the  poor,  impossible,  and 
too  ridiculous  ruin  of  a  hot-water  bottle  felt  the 
genial  glow  of  Charles,  and  it  reminded  him  of 
the  good  old  days,  and  he  put  his  brass  nose  out 
of  the  breast  pocket  of  Charles  and  said: 

"Warmth — warmth — there  is  nothing  like 
warmth,  after  all!" 

Then  he,  too,  slept,  and  dreamed  of  his  pride 
and  importance  in  the  happy,  happy  past,  when 
he  was  sold  for  seven-and-six  and  began  life  by 
bringing  joy  and  comfort  to  an  elderly  lady. 


CHAPTER  XII 

THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO 

The  next  day  Mr.  Jago  relented  a  little,  ow- 
ing to  his  wife's  remonstrances;  and  though 
Charles  and  Unity  had  no  breakfast,  they  were 
released  and  allowed  to  come  to  dinner. 

His  parents  and  John,  who  was  grown  up, 
didn't  believe  a  word  of  the  story  that  Charles 
told  them,  and  yet  it  was  all  true  enough.  But 
he  did  not  say  anything  about  the  Flint  Heart 
and  the  waistcoat  till  the  next  Meeting;  and 
then  he  explained  what  must  be  done,  and  in- 
troduced the  hot-water  bottle  to  the  family. 

Soon  afterwards,  when  the  farm  was  quiet 
and  nobody  about,  Charles  looked  for  the  old 
waistcoat  and  found  it. 

He  could  not  help  feeling  very  excited  at  the 
moment  when  he  put  his  hand  into  the  pocket 
and  touched  the  chilly  and  hard  face  of  the 
169 


170  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Flint  Heart.  He  looked  at  it,  to  see  that  there 
was  no  mistake,  and  then,  as  somebody  was 
hastening  along  the  passage,  he  slipped  the 
charm  into  his  own  pocket  and  went  off. 

Of  course,  Charles  knew  what  a  horribly 
dangerous  thing  he  had  got,  and  made  all  haste 
to  be  rid  of  it  again.  He  felt  as  if  he  was 
carrying  dynamite,  or  gunpowder,  or  some 
equally  touchy  and  explosive  compound.  But 
to  get  the  Flint  Heart  from  his  father  was  one 
thing;  to  get  rid  of  it  was  quite  another.  He 
decided  to  speak  to  Unity  in  private,  and  pres- 
ently he  met  her  watching  the  ducks  in  the  river 
not  far  off. 

Charles  shouted  roughly  to  her : 
"Come  here,  and  be  sharp  about  it !" 
She  was  astonished  at  the  tone  of  his  voice, 
but  went  instantly. 

"Don't  stare,"  he  said,  "but  just  attend  to 
me,  and  speak  sense  if  you  can.  I've  got  the 
Flint  Heart  in  my  pocket.  What  shall  I  do 
with  it?" 

"I  wonder,"  said  Unity;  and  Charles  was  so 


THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO     171 

irritable  and  peppery  and  unlike  himself,  that 
he  took  his  small  sister  by  the  shoulders  and 
shook  her.  Ship  happened  to  be  passing  by, 
and  he  could  not  stand  this,  so  he  came  forward 
and  looked  at  Charles  with  his  blue  eyes  and 
showed  his  teeth  and  growled. 

"Would  you,  you  cur!"  cried  Charles,  and 
he  picked  up  a  great  stone  to  throw  at  Ship. 

Then  Unity  said : 

"I  wonder  if  you  hadn't  better  fling  away 
that  Flint  Heart,  brother  Charles,  before  it 
makes  you  any  worse?" 

And  Charles  struggled  against  the  horrid 
heart,  and  dragged  it  out  of  his  pocket  and 
threw  it  away  with  all  his  might.  It  fell  into 
the  river ;  but  it  was  flat,  and  it  went  ducking- 
and-draking  all  along  a  smooth  pool  and  then 
jumped  the  bank  and  fell  plump  into  a  reedy 
swamp  beyond.  It  was  a  place  where  green 
and  pink  and  yellow  bog  moss  grew,  and  the 
cruel  little  sundew,  that  catches  flies  with  its 
leaves,  and  the  butterwort  with  sticky  foliage 
also,  and  the  bog  pimpernel,  and  other  very 


172  THE  FLINT  HEART 

pretty  things  that  like  to  live  with  their  feet  in 
the  water. 

"So  much  for  that!"  cried  Charles.  "It's 
gone!  It'll  trouble  nobody  any  more.  For- 
give me,  Unity.  Forgive  me,  Ship!  What  a 
brute  of  a  thing  it  is !" 

"I  wonder  what  you'd  have  been  like  if  you'd 
kept  it  very  long  ?"  said  Unity. 

"I  should  have  got  worse  and  worse,"  de- 
clared Charles. 

"I  wonder  how  the  hot-water  bottle  would 
have  liked  it  ?"  said  Unity. 

"I'm  sure  I  don't  know,"  answered  Charles. 
"He  is  better  as  he  is — though  as  he's  so  low- 
spirited  it  might  perhaps  have  done  him  good." 

"I  wonder  how  De  Quincey  would  have  liked 
it?"  said  Unity. 

"It  would  have  made  him  rather  conceited," 
declared  Charles.  "And  he  would  have 
ordered  the  others  about  and  very  likely  got 
into  trouble  with  the  King  and  Queen." 

"I  wonder  how  the  Snick  would  have  liked 
it?"  said  Unity. 


THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO     173 

"The  Snick  was  quite  important  enough 
without  it,"  answered  Charles.  "As  a  matter 
of  fact  I  shouldn't  be  surprised  if  he's  got  one." 

"I  wonder  how  the  Zagabog  would  have 
liked  it  ?"  said  Unity. 

"It  wouldn't  have  made  any  difference  to 
him,"  replied  Charles.  "If  he'd  had  a  string 
of  Flint  Hearts  round  his  neck  they  wouldn't 
have  made  him  unkind.  He  couldn't  be." 

As  they  spoke  Billy  Jago  appeared  beside  the 
river,  and  Unity  was  about  to  fly,  for  the  chil- 
dren never  faced  their  father  now  if  it  could 
be  helped.  But  Charles  held  her  hand. 

"Don't  go,"  he  said.  "Trust  the  Zagabog. 
If  he  was  right,  then  father  will  be  the  same 
good  old  father  he  always  was,  now  the  Flint 
Heart  has  gone." 

Charles  called  to  Ship,  who  was  sneaking  off 
under  the  hedge  and  hoping  that  Mr.  Jago 
would  not  see  him  and  whistle.  But  he  came 
to  Charles,  and  all  three  boldly  walked  to  meet 
the  master  of  Merripit  Farm. 

And  the  first  thing  he  did  was  to  pick  up 


174  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Unity  and  rub  his  bristly  yellow  chin  against 
her  cheek  and  kiss  her!  She  had  not  been 
kissed  since  the  Zagabog  kissed  her,  and  she 
looked  into  her  father's  eyes  and  hoped  they 
would  be  telescopes  too;  but  they  weren't,  and 
she  saw  nothing  of  the  past  and  nothing  of  the 
present  and  nothing  of  the  future ;  but  she  saw 
a  very  kind,  gentle  expression,  and  heard  Mr. 
Jago  say : 

"Well,  my  little,  purty,  tibby  lamb,  have  'e 
come  for  to  meet  father  and  fetch  him  home  to 
dinner?  And  a  ride  you  shall  have  for  your 
trouble,  so  you  shall." 

He  carried  her  on  his  arm,  and  with  great 
rejoicing  they  all  went  home  together — Billy 
and  his  daughter  in  the  middle  and  Charles  on 
his  right  and  Ship  on  his  left. 

When  Mrs.  Jago  saw  them  coming  she  called 
to  Mary  and  said : 

"Oh,  my  Guy  Fawkes !  be  that  father  carry- 
ing Unity,  or  have  my  eyes  gone  mazed  ?" 

And  Mary  said : 


THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO     175 

"Ess  fay,  he's  carrying  Unity,  sure  enough, 
and  he's  making  jokes  by  the  look  of  it,  for 
Charles  be  laughing  fit  to  crack  his  cheeks !" 

Dinner  was  late,  and  Billy  Jago  didn't  mind 
in  the  least.  The  family  all  stared  at  him,  as 
if  he  was  a  stranger ;  but  the  happy  truth  was 
that  the  stranger  had  gone  and  the  real,  kind, 
laughing  Billy  had  returned. 

John — I  ought  to  have  mentioned  that  he 
was  grown  up — seemed  the  only  one  who  was 
a  little  bit  sorry,  for  since  Billy  had  possessed 
the  Flint  Heart  it  could  not  be  denied  that  he 
had  got  on  in  the  world  wonderfully.  The 
only  bright  side  to  the  change  was  that  he  had 
put  quite  a  lot  of  money  into  the  bank ;  but  Mrs. 
Jago  felt  that,  after  all,  though  money  is  useful, 
it  isn't  as  useful  as  a  good-tempered  and  kind- 
hearted  husband. 

"What  about  that  field  down  by  the  river?" 
she  asked,  just  to  see  if  Billy  still  felt  the  same 
to  other  people,  or  if  he  had  changed  all  round. 

He  thought  a  moment  and  answered : 


176  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Well,  old  Thomas  Gollop  wants  it  more  than 
I  do,  and  it  was  certainly  promised  to  him.  I 
meant  to  offer  a  bit  more  for  it  and  cut  him 
out ;  but  I  sha'n't.  He  can  have  it." 

So  you  see  Billy  was  changed  in  every  way ; 
and  though  it  took  the  people  a  good  long  time 
to  believe  it,  yet  when  he  gave  ten  huge  plum- 
cakes  to  the  parish  school  treat  and  went  him- 
self and  played  "Hunt  the  Slipper"  with  the 
children;  and  when  he  asked  men  to  forgive 
him  for  having  been  unkind,  and  women  to 
forgive  him  for  having  been  rude,  and  children 
to  forgive  him  for  having  been  rough,  and  so 
on,  and  so  on,  of  course  everybody  began  to 
see  that  he  really  had  changed  and  was  just 
the  old  easy-going  Billy  that  he  used  to  be.  He 
didn't  make  nearly  so  much  money,  but  he 
made  more  friends;  and  whatever  he  may 
have  thought  about  it,  there  was  no  doubt  what 
Mrs.  Jago  and  Mary  and  Ted  and  Charles  and 
the  twins  and  Unity  and  the  baby  and  Ship 
thought.  None  of  them  cared  a  bit  about 
money,  and  were  only  too  glad  to  have  the  head 


THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO    177 

of  the  house  back  again  instead  of  the  grumpy 
monster  that  had  taken  his  place. 

Only  one  sad  thing  occurred  at  this  time  to 
spoil  the  general  joy,  and  the  sorrow  was  felt 
by  none  but  Charles  and  Unity. 

When  they  had  time  to  do  so,  they  turned 
their  attention  to  the  poor  india-rubber  hot- 
water  bottle.  He  had  been  left  hanging  on  a 
nail  in  a  dark  corner  of  the  stable,  and  now 
Charles  brought  him  down  and  went  into  the 
question  of  mending  him. 

Naturally  the  bottle  was  deeply  interested 
and  wanted  Charles  to  send  him  back  to  Ger- 
many. He  said: 

"I  do  not  wish  to  suggest  that  you  couldn't 
mend  me  beautifully,  Charles.  I  have  every 
confidence  in  you  and  Unity.  But  I  have 
suffered  internally  in  many  ways.  It  is  a  com- 
plicated case,  and  I  shall  require  the  most  care- 
ful handling  if  I  am  ever  to  be  restored  to 
health  and  usefulness." 

But  Charles  was  firm. 

"It  is  quite  out  of  the  question,"  he  answered. 


178  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"To  send  you  to  Germany  is  impossible.  I 
don't  even  know  where  Germany  is.  We  will 
do  our  best  for  you,  and  we  can  do  no  more." 

The  bottle  gave  his  sad  wheezy  sigh  and  said 
that  he  left  himself  in  the  hands  of  Charles. 

"Do  your  best,"  he  answered. 

"I  wonder  if  sticking-plaster — ?"  suggested 
Unity.  "We  have  it  on  our  fingers  if  we  cut 
ourselves." 

"By  all  means  try  it,"  said  the  bottle;  "but 
I  doubt  if  it  is  good  enough." 

"If  it's  good  enough  for  us,  it  ought  to  be 
good  enough  for  you,"  said  Charles,  rather 
warmly. 

But  the  bottle  explained  that  he  didn't  mean 
that  at  all. 

"Without  doubt  it  is  good  enough,"  he 
answered.  "Indeed,  it  may  be  too  good  for 
a  poor,  friendless,  battered  wretch  like  me. 
My  fear  is  that  it  won't  stick  me  together." 

And  time  proved  the  bottle  was  only  too 
right.  Nothing  that  Charles  or  Unity  could 
think  of  answered  the  purpose  of  healing  the 


THE  RECOVERY  OF  MR.  JAGO     179 

poor  fellow.  They  tried  sticking-plaster,  and 
stamp-paper,  and  gum  and  glue,  and  even  seal- 
ing-wax, which  hurt  the  bottle  horribly,  but  he 
bore  it  without  a  tear.  Yet  all  these  things 
only  made  the  hole  in  his  side  worse,  if  any- 
thing, and  at  last  he  begged  the  children  to 
make  no  further  experiments. 

"I  can  stand  no  more,"  he  said.  "Let  me 
hang  on  my  nail  in  peace.  I  thank  you  from 
a  full  heart  for  your  praiseworthy  efforts  to 
bring  a  little  sunshine  into  my  life.  But  we 
must  wait  until  you  grow  older  and  cleverer. 
You  say  that  wise  men  sometimes  come  here 
to  stop  in  the  summer  months.  If  any  arrive 
presently,  speak  with  them  and  endeavour  to 
interest  them  in  my  case.  Meanwhile  do  not 
let  my  sorrows  make  you  sad.  Go  on  your 
way  and  be  happy  and  forget  me  for  the 
present." 

Charles  and  Unity  tried  to  do  what  he  told 
them;  but  they  did  not  forget  him,  which  was 
very  fortunate  indeed,  for,  though  you  might 
suppose  that  a  broken-down  hot-water  bottle 


i8o  THE  FLINT  HEART 

could  make  little  stir  in  the  world  and  was 
really  not  likely  to  be  of  any  great  use  again, 
yet  you  would  be  quite  mistaken  to  think  so. 
Because  this  is  a  fairy  story,  and  in  any  real 
fairy  story  nothing  happens  that  you  expect  and 
everything  happens  that  you  don't  expect. 
Therefore,  as  you  don't  expect  to  hear  any  more 
of  the  hot-water  bottle,  you  very  soon  will  hear 
more  of  him.  In  fact,  I  should  never  have 
brought  him  into  the  story  at  all  if  I  had  meant 
to  leave  him  hanging  for  ever  and  ever  on  a 
nail  in  the  corner  of  a  dark  stable. 

Still  he  must  hang  there  for  a  little  while, 
just  as  the  Flint  Heart  must  lie  in  the  bog  by 
the  river  for  a  little  while.  But  one  thing  I 
promise  you:  the  bottle  and  the  Flint  Heart 
will  meet  before  you  or  they  are  much  older; 
and  when  they  do,  I  hope  I  shall  be  able  to 
write  about  such  a  great  event  properly. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR 

About  six  weeks  after  Mr.  Billy  Jago  got 
well,  Charles,  having  a  holiday,  determined  to 
visit  the  Pixies'  Holt.  He  hardly  expected  to 
see  a  fairy  again,  but  he  wanted  to  thank  De 
Quincey  and  tell  him  that  the  Zagabog's  advice 
had  worked  very  splendidly  indeed.  So  he 
wrote  a  letter  addressed  to  "Mr.  De  Quincey, 
Esquire,  Poet,"  and  started  off  to  fling  it  into 
the  Holt. 

"Then,"  thought  Charles,  "somebody  will 
be  sure  to  find  it  and  give  it  to  him." 

It  was  a  nice  letter,  well  expressed  and  well 
spelt,  for  Charles  had  taken  great  trouble  with 
it;  but  De  Quincey  never  received  it,  and  this 
is  the  reason  why. 

Charles  reached  the  Holt  on  a  day  in  Au- 
181 


182  THE  FLINT  HEART 

gust,  and  the  bluebells  were,  of  course,  all 
dead  and  gone,  but  some  good  foxgloves  had 
taken  their  places;  and  the  first  thing  that 
Charles  saw  when  he  arrived  was  De  Quincey 
himself,  trying  on  foxgloves.  Most  men 
fairies  wear  foxglove  hats  in  the  Summer  sea- 
son of  the  year.  In  fact,  it  is  not  considered 
very  good  form  to  wear  anything  else  from  the 
twentieth  of  June  until  the  thirty-first  of 
August;  so  De  Quincey,  who  had  just  dis- 
carded his  last  hat,  was  trying  on  new  ones, 
and  he  had  found  a  foxglove  that  fitted  per- 
fectly as  Charles  arrived. 

"I  was  bringing  a  letter  for  you,"  said  the 
visitor. 

"You  ought  to  have  brought  it  sooner,"  an- 
swered De  Quincey.  "However,  'better  late 
than  never'  is  a  good  saying,  and  I  am  the 
last  person  to  expect  gratitude  from  a  human 
boy.  If  you  should  ever  be  invited  to  dinner 
again,  remember  to  call  within  the  week" 

"I  will,  and  I'm  sorry  I  didn't  know  better," 
answered  Charles  humbly. 


THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR          183 

"You  can't  say  more,"  replied  the  fairy, 
"and  it  is  rather  remarkable  to  hear  you  say 
as  much.  Many  people  are  angry  when  they 
make  a  mistake,  but  very  few  people  have  the 
sense  also  to  be  sorry." 

"I  hope  the  music  of  English  prose  is  going 
on  pretty  well,"  said  Charles. 

"Don't  talk  about  it,"  answered  De  Quincey. 
"The  ancient  fires  of  course  still  burn,  and 
they  are  immortal;  but  there  is  nothing  new 
— no  fresh  fuel,  if  you  understand  me." 

Charles  didn't,  so  he  changed  the  subject. 

"My  father  has  quite  recovered.  I  am  sure 
you  will  be  glad  to  hear  that,"  he  said. 

"The  King  wants  to  see  you,"  said  De 
Quincey,  showing  no  interest  in  Billy  Jago. 

"The  King!"  exclaimed  Charles. 

"Yes,"  answered  De  Quincey.  "The  story 
is  a  long  one,  but  such  is  my  command  of 
language  that  I  shall  be  able  to  unfold  it  in 
three  sentences.  Observe  the  construction  of 
them,  and  the  harmony  with  which  each  will 
flow  out  of  the  last." 


184  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"I  will,  if  I'm  clever  enough,"  answered 
Charles. 

"In  a  word,  when  you  flung  away  the  Flint 
Heart,  it  finally  reposed  upon  a  bank  of  wild 
asphodel  beyond  the  river.  Passing  that  way 
by  night,  the  Jacky  Toad  known  as  Marsh 
Galloper  chanced  upon  the  charm,  and,  with 
that  low  cunning  denied  to  no  member  of  his 
species,  perceived  its  terrific  qualities,  pos- 
sessed himself  of  the  Flint  Heart,  and,  by  its 
aid,  speedily  lifted  himself  to  a  position  of  in- 
tolerable importance.  He  has  marshalled  the 
dusky  legions  of  the  Jacky  Toads  in  revolt 
against  Fairyland  proper;  he  has  openly  de- 
fied and  flouted  the  Reigning  House;  his 
trumpets  have  sounded  for  revolution ;  and  his 
banners  bear  these  shameful  words,  'Down 
with  the  Veto'  Even  the  royal  Jacky  Toad 
bodyguard  is  on  the  point  of  rebellion." 

"I'm  very  sorry  there  is  any  trouble,"  said 
Charles. 

"Already  we  have  fought  three  pitched  bat- 


THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR          185 

ties,  and  it  is  idle  to  pretend  that  we  got  the 
best  of  them,"  continued  De  Quincey. 
"Marsh  Galloper  was  practically  unknown  un- 
til a  month  ago,  but  now,  with  the  Flint  Heart 
and  his  friend  Fire  Drake  to  help  him,  the 
wretched  hobgoblin  is  proving  a  very  ugly 
customer  indeed.  Of  course  something  must 
be  done.  We  can't  have  a  long  civil  war. 
So  the  King  wants  to  see  you.  His  words 
were,  'Send  for  Charles.' ' 

"I'm  afraid  that  I  sha'n't  be  any  use,"  said 
Charles. 

"Probably  not,"  answered  De  Quincey; 
"but,  as  the  Zagabog  used  to  say,  'everything 
comes  in  useful  once  in  a  hundred  years';  and 
this  may  be  your  chance.  He  has,  of  course, 
gone  on  his  majestic  rounds — I  mean  the  great 
Zagabog — but,  after  the  third  battle,  and  when 
about  six  of  our  leading  generals  had  been 
recalled  in  disgrace,  the  King  sent  a  message 
by  wireless  telegraphy  to  the  Zagabog,  who  is 
now  in  Timbuctoo,  and  the  Zagabog  has  re- 


186  THE  FLINT  HEART 

plied  to  the  message;  and  the  King  is  very 
anxious  that  you  shall  hear  what  the  Zagabog 
said." 

"I  shall  be  most  interested,"  answered 
Charles. 

"Come  on,  then,"  replied  De  Quincey;  and 
he  touched  the  right  boot  of  Charles,  repeated 
the  magic  word,  and  reduced  the  visitor  to 
fairy  size  in  a  twinkling. 

Then  Charles  remarked  that  all  the  flowers 
were  arranged  in  rows  and  danced  on  spiders' 
threads  in  a  way  quite  invisible  to  a  full-sized 
human  being. 

"Good  gracious!  you're  having  a  flower- 
show!"  said  Charles. 

De  Quincey  showed  impatience. 

"On  the  contrary,  it's  washing  day,"  he  an- 
swered. Then  he  pointed  to  some  tiny  but  ex- 
quisite petticoats  that  glittered  and  flashed  on 
a  gossamer  and  looked  like  liquid  silver  flut- 
tering there. 

"Her  Majesty's,"  explained  De  Quincey. 
"They  are  made  from  the  petals  of  the  rarest 


THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR          187 

flower  on  Dartmoor.  I  refer  to  the  Mount 
Ida  whortleberry  which  grows  on  Fur  Tor. 
Now  come  on." 

In  the  entrance-hall  Charles  stopped  again, 
entranced  by  the  most  lovely  music  that  he  had 
ever  heard ;  and  this  time  when  he  asked  what 
it  might  mean  De  Quincey  showed  less  impa- 
tience. 

"It  is  the  private  royal  orchestra  rehears- 
ing," he  said.  "They  are  about  to  run 
through  a  little  thing  of  mine.  It  is  to  be 
sung  at  Court  to-morrow  night;  and  the  con- 
cert will  conclude  with  the  Grand  Septuor — 
Beethoven,  Op.  20  in  E  flat.  You  know  it,  of 
course?" 

"I'm  afraid  I  don't,"  answered  Charles. 
"But  I  should  like  to  hear  a  song  of  yours, 
I'm  sure,  if  it's  half  as  beautiful  as  the  Zaga- 
bog  song." 

"It  is  more  beautiful,  but  not  so  learned," 
answered  the  poet. 

The  musicians,  who  had  apparently  been 
waiting  for  him,  stopped  playing.  Then,  after 


188  THE  FLINT  HEART 

a  few  words  from  De  Quincey,  they  picked  up 
their  instruments  again  and  prepared  to  start. 
A  tiny  lady  songstress  took  her  place  before 
them,  with  a  wee  sheet  of  music  in  her  hand, 
and  after  a  few  bars  had  been  played,  she  sang 
this  song: 

"Where  bluebells  are  tinkling  a  fairy  tune 

In  the  ear  of  sleeping  night, 
Where  dewdrops  laugh  at  the  man  in  the  moon 

And  shiver  with  stolen  light; 
When  the  busy  old  world  that  works  by  day 
Slumbers  softly  in  dreamland  far  away — 
'Tis  then  that  we  dance  and  sing  and  play 

Under  the  moon,  the  golden  moon, 
Where   bluebells   are   tinkling,    tinkling,   tink- 
ling— 

Bluebells  are  tinkling  a  fairy  tune. 

"Where  Will-o'-the-wisp  glides  over  the  fen 

To  gaze  upon  fairy  charms; 
Where  shadowy  mists  from  the  haunted  glen 

Are  waving  their  silver  arms ; 
Where  winds  of  the  night  from  a  woodland 

bring 

The  scent  of  the  forest  on  silent  wing — 
'Tis  there  that  we  dance  and  play  and  sing 


All  the  musicians  went  off  save  seven  and  the  conductor 


THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR          189 

Under  the  moon,  the  golden  moon, 
Where   bluebells   are   tinkling,   tinkling,   tink- 
ling— 
Bluebells  are  tinkling  a  fairy  tune." 

"There,"  said  De  Quincey,  "what  d'you 
think  of  that?" 

"It's  lovely,"  answered  Charles.  "It's  far 
and  away  the  most  beautiful  song  I've  ever 
heard,  though  of  course  I've  not  heard  many." 

"Never  qualify  praise,"  replied  the  poet. 
"It's  the  best  thing  you  ever  heard.  No  need 
to  say  more." 

"Do  let  me  hear  it  over  again,"  begged 
Charles ;  but  De  Quincey  refused  to  allow  this. 

"Encores  never  take  place  at  a  rehearsal," 
he  said.  "Now  you  can  listen  to  a  part  of  the 
Grand  Septuor ;  then  we  must  go  to  the  King." 

All  the  musicians  went  off  save  seven  and 
the  conductor.  Their  instruments  were  very 
beautiful  and  wonderful.  For  instance,  the 
big  fiddle  was  the  empty  shell  of  a  shard-borne 
beetle  strung  with  spiders'  web;  and  the  first 
violin  consisted  of  an  empty  beech-nut,  which 


i-90  THE  FLINT  HEART 

made  the  loveliest  music  for  a  fairy's  ear. 
The  biggest  of  the  wind  instruments  was 
fashioned  out  of  a  small  snail-shell;  but 
whether  it  was  a  clarinet,  or  oboe,  or  what,  I 
am  not  musician  enough  to  say. 

Charles  listened  to  the  wonderful  Grand 
Septuor;  and  since  the  rendering  was  very 
fine  and  quite  out  of  the  common  in  every  way, 
even  De  Quincey  made  no  haste  to  go  forward 
to  Court. 

"Of  course  I  don't  understand  it,"  admitted 
Charles;  "but  it's  beautiful.  Even  I  know 
that  much." 

"I  have  always  regretted,"  replied  De 
Quincey,  "that  we  have  had  no  fairy  composer 
who  could  be  considered  in  the  class  of  Bee- 
thoven. Musicians  we  can  boast  in  plenty, 
but  none,  between  ourselves,  quite  equal  to 
setting  my  words  to  music;  so  I  always  have 
to  do  it  myself." 

Then  he  went  over  to  the  conductor  of  the 
orchestra. 

"A  pleasing  and  sound  performance,"  he 


THE  GRAND  SEPTUOR          191 

said.  "Perhaps  a  little  more  fire  in  the  allegro 
and  a  thought  more  delicacy  in  the  andante 
are  indicated.  And  the  'cello  appears  to  be 
slightly  rheumatic  in  his  bow  elbow.  But 
these  are  trifles.  The  Grand  Septuor  may  be 
considered  ready  for  the  Court  Concert." 

The  conductor  thanked  De  Quincey  and 
said  that  he  was  proud  to  have  pleased  him. 
Then  Charles  and  his  guide  hastened  off  to 
Court. 


CHAPTER  XIV 
THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE 

The  King  shook  hands  and  treated  his  vis- 
itor with  great  kindness.  He  was  not  so  vain 
as  De  Quincey  and  not  so  pleased  with  him- 
self. In  fact,  his  manners  simply  smothered 
De  Quincey's. 

"You  are  very  welcome,"  he  said,  "though 
I  am  afraid  you  cannot  help  us  as  much  as  you 
would  wish  to  do.  Mr.  De  Quincey  will  have 
told  you  what  has  happened." 

"Yes,  Your  Majesty,"  answered  Charles. 
"He  tells  me  that  the  Jacky  Toads  have  re- 
belled and  are  up  in  arms  against  Fairyland." 

"It  is  true,"  answered  the  King.  "They 
are  led  by  a  very  powerful  and,  I  fear,  un- 
principled person  called  Marsh  Galloper,  and 
the  case  is  so  serious  that  I  have  sent  special 
wireless  messages  to  the  Zagabog  about  it. 

192 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE     193 

If  you  will  allow  me,  I  will  tell  you  what  he 
says." 

"I  shall  be  delighted,"  declared  Charles. 

The  King  summoned  his  Reader  of  Des- 
patches, and,  while  he  was  coming,  he  said : 

"The  Jacky  Toads  want  to  abolish  the  Veto, 
and,  for  my  part,  I  should  be  disposed  to 
let  them  try  it;  but  we  have  a  Conservative 
Government  in  for  the  moment,  and  my  Prime 
Minister  won't  hear  of  the  experiment." 

Then  the  reader  arrived  and  recited  the 
Zagabog's  message. 

"In  reply  to  your  telegram,  I  have  consulted 
my  'Who's  Who,'  and  so  gathered  all  particu- 
lars of  the  Jacky  Toad,  Marsh  Galloper.  His 
education  has  been  neglected,  and  it  must  begin 
immediately.  But  first  you  will  have  to  catch 
him,  and  this  can  only  be  done  with  the  help 
of  three  things : 

"i.     A  human  boy. 

"2.     A  human  girl. 

"3.     A  hot-water  bottle  made  in  Germany. 


194  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"When  found,  leave  the  rest  to  them. 

"Hoping  this  reaches  you  as  it  leaves  me 
at  present,  I  remain,  my  dear  King,  your 
friend  and  well-wisher, 

"ZAGABOG." 

"Now,"  said  the  King,  after  his  Reader  had 
bowed  and  departed,  "you  see  exactly  how  I 
am  placed.  We  want  first  a  human  boy  who 
will  help  us,  secondly  a  human  girl  who  will 
help  us,  and  thirdly  and  lastly  a  hot-water 
bottle  made  in  Germany  who  will  help  us.  I 
have  not  the  pleasure  of  knowing  any  human 
boys  but  you,  or  human  girls  but  your  sister; 
and  I  do  not  know  a  single  hot-water  bottle 
made  in  Germany.  But  if  I  can  get  you  and 
Unity  to  help  me,  that  at  least  will  be  very 
satisfactory  for  a  start." 

"We  shall  be  only  too  proud  to  help  you,  I'm 
sure,"  said  Charles. 

"So  far  so  good  then.  'Well  begun  is  half 
done/  as  the  proverb  says.  And  now,  as  to  the 


The  reader  then  recited  the  Zagabog's  message 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE     195 

great  question  of  the  hot-water  bottle.  It  is 
here  that  our  difficulties  will  begin." 

"I  know  a  hot-water  bottle,  fortunately,"  de- 
clared Charles.  "In  fact,  you  might  say  that 
he  is  my  friend." 

"Be  careful!"  murmured  De  Quincey. 
"It  is  a  most  unlikely  thing  that  you  are  tell- 
ing us !" 

"I  promise  you  it's  true !"  answered  Charles. 
"You  can  come  and  see  him  for  yourself,  if  you 
like." 

"But  not  made  in  Germany?"  suggested  the 
King.  "Surely  not  made  in  Germany?" 

"He  really  was,  King — he  said  so  himself," 
declared  Charles.  "Unity  and  me  saved  him 
from  a  terrible  fate,  and  tried  to  mend  him. 
He  is  badly  wounded,  but  is  very  cheerful,  con- 
sidering." 

"Would  he  help?"  asked  the  King.  "As  he 
is  a  foreigner,  I  should  not  have  asked  him, 
because  this  is  a  purely  personal  matter  be- 
longing to  my  own  Empire,  and  it  lies  entirely 


196  THE  FLINT  HEART 

between  a  section  of  my  subjects  and  myself. 
However,  you  have  heard  what  the  Zagabog 
says." 

"I'm  perfectly  sure  he  will  help,"  replied 
Charles.  "He  would  do  anything  that  he 
could,  because  I  tried  so  hard  to  mend  him. 
He  was  only  made  in  Germany,  but  he  came 
to  England  at  once  afterwards.  A  great 
many  things,  and  even  people,  come  to  Eng- 
land from  Germany  when  they  are  old  enough 
to  have  sense.  The  bottle  has  lived  all  his  life 
in  England." 

"A  naturalised  subject.  So  much  the  bet- 
ter. Then  everything  is  comfortably  settled," 
said  the  King.  "I  have  complete  confidence  in 
you,  in  your  sister,  and  in  the  bottle ;  and  after 
you  have  restored  peace  and  order  in  my 
kingdom,  you  may  all  come  to  Court,  and  we 
will  have  one  of  our  great  nights;  and  your 
sister  shall  choose  ten  courses  of  the  banquet 
and  you  shall  choose  ten.  The  audience  is 
ended." 

The   King   bowed   to   Charles    and    shook 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE      197 

hands  again.  Then  De  Quincey  began  to  lead 
the  visitor  away. 

"But,"  cried  Charles,  "please,  please  tell  me 
what  I  am  to  do.  I  know  nothing  about  it 
yet!" 

The  King  seemed  surprised  and  even  a  lit- 
tle bit  hurt. 

"You  surely  cannot  have  listened  to  what 
the  Zagabog  said?"  he  asked.  "After  minute 
directions  he  adds  these  important  words: 
'When  found,  leave  the  rest  to  them.'  So 
there  you  are.  I  have  found  you  and  I  shall 
leave  the  rest  to  you.  The  Zagabog  knows 
everything,  and  so  he  knows  best.  The 
secret  of  my  own  great  success  as  a  King  has 
always  been  that  I  find  the  right  fairy  for  each 
task  and  then  don't  interfere  with  him.  Am 
I  not  right,  De  Quincey?" 

The  poet  bowed. 

"Quite  right,  Your  Majesty,"  he  answered; 
"and  another  of  your  many  virtues  is  punc- 
tuality. You  may  not  be  aware  of  it,  but  the 
nation  sets  its  clocks  by  you,  well  knowing 


198  THE  FLINT  HEART 

that  the  moment  you  leave  the  palace  gates  for 
your  morning  drive  is  precisely,  exactly,  and 
invariably  one  minute  past  seven  o'clock  A.  M." 

"I  was  not  aware  of  it,"  replied  the  mon- 
arch ;  "but  none  the  less  am  I  gratified  to  learn 
the  fact." 

Then  De  Quincey  and  Charles  were  about 
to  go  backwards  from  the  royal  presence;  but 
the  King  himself  stopped  them. 

"One  thing  I  must  command,"  he  said. 
"Please  see  that  the  famous  'Night-Piece'  is 
sung  to  Charles  before  he  departs.  He  must 
be  taught  to  sing  it  perfectly,  for  it  is  the 
greatest  charm  we  have  against  naughty 
night-fairies,  and  night-creatures  in  general. 
See  that  he  has  it  by  heart  before  he  enters 
upon  his  dangerous  undertaking." 

De  Quincey  and  Charles  now  retired  and  the 
pixy  explained  all  about  the  "Night-Piece." 

"There  was  a  man  called  Robin  Herrick," 
he  said ;  "and  he  lived  long  ago  in  Devonshire 
— only  a  few  miles  from  this  very  place — and, 
after  Shakespeare,  he  knew  more  about  pixies 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE     199 

than  almost  anybody.  He  was  a  poet;  and  he 
loved  us  and  understood  us;  and  he  wrote  a 
very  beautiful  song  which  we  always  sing  be- 
fore any  great  adventure  by  night.  My  voice 
is  not  what  it  was ;  but  it  is  very  highly  trained 
and  cultivated,  and  my  taste  and  delivery  are 
so  perfect  that  I  often  give  much  more  pleas- 
ure than  better  singers  who  lack  my  marvellous 
poetic  feeling.  Therefore  I  will  sing  you  the 
'Night-Piece'  and  help  you  to  commit  it  to 
memory." 

So,  when  they  had  got  outside  the  Holt,  De 
Quincey  mounted  a  pebble  under  a  fern-frond 
and  Charles  sat  down  on  an  old  up-turned 
acorn-cup  and  listened  to  one  of  the  loveliest, 
daintiest,  quaintest,  sweetest  fairy  songs  that 
heart  of  man  ever  made  in  a  joyful  moment,  or 
pen  of  man  in  a  joyful  moment  set  down. 

The  Night-piece. 

i. 

"Her  Eyes  the  Glow-worme  lend  thee, 
The  Shooting  Starres  attend  thee; 
And  the  Elves  also, 


200  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Whose  little  eyes  glow 
Like  the  sparks  of  fire,  befriend  thee. 

n. 

"No  Will-o'-th'-Wispe  mis-light  thee, 
Nor  Snake,  or   Slow-worme  bite  thee, 

But  on,  on  thy  way, 

Not  making  a  stay, 
Since  Ghost  there's  none  to  affright  thee. 

in. 

"Let  not  the  darke  thee  cumber; 
What  though  the  Moon  does  slumber? 
The  Starres  of  the  night 
Will  lend  thee  their  light, 
Like  Tapers  cleare  without  number." 

Charles  was  greatly  pleased  with  this  magic 
song,  and  he  learned  it  quickly,  and  promised 
that  he  would  teach  it  to  Unity  if  he  could. 
He  did  not  forget  to  say  that  he  thought  De 
Quincey  was  a  very  fine  singer ;  and  indeed  he 
was,  though  one  might  have  better  liked  his 
singing,  and  all  the  other  clever  things  that 
he  did,  had  he  not  made  such  a  fuss  about 
them. 


THE  ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE     201 

Then,  full  of  the  great  deeds  that  awaited 
him,  Charles  started,  and  his  mind  was  so 
busy  with  the  matter  of  Marsh  Galloper,  the 
present  rebellious  Chief  of  the  Jacky  Toads, 
that  he  quite  forgot  he  was  still  no  more  than 
fairy  size.  The  fact,  however,  came  un- 
pleasantly into  his  mind,  for  a  great  kestrel- 
hawk,  mistaking  Charles  for  a  mouse  or  lizard, 
swooped  down  from  her  high  station  where 
she  was  hovering  on  widespread  wings  aloft, 
and  if  Charles  had  not  screamed  the  bird  must 
certainly  have  fixed  her  sharp  claws  in  him 
and  carried  him  off  for  supper. 

So  he  rushed  back  to  the  Holt  as  fast  as  he 
could  go,  and  De  Quincey,  who  had  also  re- 
membered, and  who  was  therefore  waiting  for 
him,  reproved  Charles  rather  sharply  for  his 
stupidity;  then  restored  him  to  his  natural  size. 

After  which  the  boy  set  off  home  in  real 
earnest;  and  that  night  he  told  Unity  what 
they  had  to  do;  and  the  next  morning  they 
told  the  hot-water  bottle.  He  was  nervous,  as 
usual,  but  left  himself  entirely  in  their  hands. 


CHAPTER  XV 

THE   GALLOPER 

Of  course  when  dealing  with  a  Jacky  Toad, 
night  is  the  time  to  choose;  and  so  Unity  and 
Charles  had  to  arrange  for  a  night  excursion. 
They  must  first  find  Marsh  Galloper ;  they  both 
agreed  about  that;  but  what  they  were  to  do 
when  they  had  found  him  looked  to  be  a  much 
more  difficult  question.  Unity  wondered  if 
kindness  would  be  any  good,  and  the  hot-water 
bottle  also  thought  that  they  ought  to  try  kind- 
ness first;  but  Charles  felt  pretty  sure  that 
kindness  would  be  mere  waste  of  time. 

"He  wants  to  abolish  the  Veto,  and  the 
King's  Prime  Minister  won't  let  him,"  ex- 
plained Charles.  "I  don't  know  what  the  Veto 
is,  or  why  he  wants  to  stop  it,  or  why  the 
King's  Prime  Minister  won't  let  him ;  but  it  is 

202 


THE  GALLOPER  203 

quite  certain  that  the  King  has  made  up  his 
mind ;  so  when  we  do  meet  Marsh  Galloper,  the 
first  thing  will  be  to  tell  him  so." 

"We  must  break  it  to  him  gently,"  suggested 
the  hot-water  bottle.  "I  know,  only  too  well, 
what  disappointment  means.  If  you  take  my 
advice,  you  will  tell  him  that  you  are  sorry  to 
say  that  the  Veto  can't  quite  be  done  away  with 
yet,  but  perhaps  presently,  if  he'll  be  good  and 
say  he's  sorry." 

"No,"  answered  Charles.  "I  sha'n't  do 
that.  I  shall  let  him  begin  and  see  whether 
he  is  friendly  to  us  or  not." 

"I  wonder  how  we  shall  know  him  when  we 
do  see  him  ?"  said  Unity. 

"We  sha'n't  know  him,"  declared  Charles. 
"Only  twice  in  my  life  have  I  ever  seen  a  Jacky 
Toad  dancing  by  night;  and  they  all  look 
alike.  They  come  out  in  the  bog  on  warm 
nights  and  jump  up  and  down,  like  flies  flitting 
over  the  water ;  and  their  lights  are  rather  dim 
and  strange — not  so  bright  as  a  night-light  and 
rather  bluer." 


204  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Are  they  dangerous?"  asked  the  hot-water 
bottle. 

"Of  course,"  answered  Charles.  "If  they 
weren't,  there  wouldn't  be  such  a  lot  of  trouble 
about  them  in  Fairyland." 

"Then  I  wish  you'd  go  without  me,"  said  the 
bottle,  "for  I've  got  no  nerve  left  for  this  sort 
of  thing  now." 

"You  must  come,"  answered  Charles  firmly. 
"The  Zagabog  mentioned  you.  Besides,  we 
shall  sing  the  song  that  De  Quincey  gave  me. 
I  have  taught  it  to  Unity,  and,  if  we  sing  it 
together,  no  doubt  it  will  protect  us  all." 

So,  on  the  next  dark  warm  night,  Charles 
and  Unity  and  the  hot-water  bottle  set  out  to 
the  great  bogs  where  lived  Marsh  Galloper 
and  his  friends.  It  was  rather  a  nasty  place 
even  in  daylight,  and  the  white  cotton-grass 
grew  there  and  the  cross-leaved  heather  and 
water-crowfoot,  and  many  other  plants  that 
like  boggy  places.  But  Charles  knew  it  well, 
and  Unity  trusted  Charles.  Only  the  bottle 
was  nervous,  and  as  soon  as  his  feet  touched 


THE  GALLOPER  205 

the  mud  he  asked  to  be  carried;  so  Unity  car- 
ried him. 

Then  they  sang  Robin  Herrick's  song;  but 
at  first  it  seemed  that  the  song  was  not  going 
to  be  of  much  use,  for  the  adventure  began 
rather  badly. 

Just  as  they  had  finished  singing,  no  less 
than  four  Jacky  Toads  waved  their  lights  in 
different  parts  of  the  bog.  They  were  little 
tongues  of  dim  flame,  and  they  flickered  up 
slowly,  like  a  fire-balloon  starting;  and  then 
they  stopped  and  flickered  down  again.  One 
lantern  was  nearer  and  more  brilliant  than 
the  rest,  and,  forgetting  the  danger,  Charles 
and  Unity  dashed  forward  together,  and 
Charles  said  "Good  evening,  Mr.  Jacky — " 

But  he  got  no  farther  than  that,  for  sud- 
denly he  found  himself  going  down,  down  into 
an  icy-cold  mire,  and  the  mud  gurgled  and 
guggled  and  sucked  at  his  legs  as  if  it  were 
alive,  and  the  whole  bog  was  shivering  and 
chattering  and  shaking  in  a  very  uncanny  and 
horrid  manner.  Charles  got  his  arm  round 


206  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Unity,  and  Unity  held  tight  to  the  hot-water 
bottle,  and  in  a  few  moments  all  three  were 
safe — on  a  tussock  of  stout  rushes,  lifted 
above  the  quaking  bog  that  had  so  nearly 
swallowed  them.  The  bottle  screamed  with 
terror  and  clung  so  tightly  to  Unity  that  he 
nearly  choked  her;  but  the  noise  he  made  was 
trifling  compared  to  the  shrill  and  rude  shout 
of  laughter  set  up  by  the  Jacky  Toad. 

It  was  sitting  on  the  skull  of  a  horse  in  the 
bog,  and  now  it  put  down  its  lantern  and  held 
its  sides  and  rocked  about  with  merriment. 

"Be  gormed  if  I  didn't  think  I'd  got  the 
pair  of  'e!"  he  shouted  out.  So  Charles  saw 
at  once  that  he  was  an  ignorant  and  vulgar 
Jacky  Toad,  and  felt  very  angry  to  think  that 
the  little  wretch  had  nearly  tempted  him  and 
his  precious  sister,  not  to  mention  their  in- 
valid friend,  into  a  dangerous  and  deadly 
quagmire,  from  which  it  might  have  been  al- 
most impossible  to  escape. 

The  Jacky  Toad  was  a  tiny  and  hideous 
monster,  less  than  three  inches  high.  He  was 


THE  GALLOPER  207 

as  black  as  a  coal,  as  hairy  as  a  spider,  and 
his  eyes  looked  like  rubies.  He  had  metallic 
blue  wings,  and  Charles  noticed  that  the  glass 
of  his  lantern  was  also  blue. 

"Don't  think,"  answered  Charles,  "that  we 
are  in  the  least  afraid  of  you,  because  we  are 
not.  You're  a  little  cruel  coward  to  try  and 
drown  me  and  my  sister." 

"Ess  fay,"  said  the  Jacky  Toad.  "You'd 
both  a'  bin  drownded  in  another  minute." 

"Of  course  we  should,  and  what  I  want  to 
know  is,  why  did  you  try  to  do  it?" 

"Blamed  if  I  can  tell  ezacally,"  said  the  imp. 
"  'Tis  my  business  to  get  you  humans  into 
a  mess  in  these  here  bogs." 

"Then  it's  a  horrid  business,  and  you  ought 
to  know  better,"  said  Charles. 

"I  don't  know  nothing,"  answered  the  Jacky 
Toad.  "Leastways  nothing  about  you  great 
creatures.  I  haven't  been  teached  about 
humans." 

"We  never  hurt  you,  did  we?" 

"Can't  say  as  you  did." 


208  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"We  never  spoke  an  unkind  word  about  you, 
did  we?1' 

"Not  as  I've  heard  tell  on." 

"I  wonder  you  can  be  so  wicked,  then,"  cried 
Unity;  and  as  the  Jacky  Toad  had  nothing  to 
answer,  he  prepared  to  change  the  subject. 

Before  he  could  do  so,  however,  an  amaz- 
ing thing  happened,  and  the  hot-water  bottle 
began  to  twitter  a  song.  It  is  well  known 
that  a  great  shock,  such  as  dropping  into  a 
fortune  or  a  Dartmoor  bog,  will  quite  change 
people;  and  poets,  if  this  happens  to>  them, 
often  never  compose  another  line;  and  com- 
mon people,  if  it  happens  to  them,  often  be- 
come poetical  and  spend  the  rest  of  their  lives 
writing  amazing  verses,  with  rhymes  and 
everything  complete.  And  now  the  shock  of 
falling  into  the  bog  acted  in  this  interesting 
manner  on  the  hot-water  bottle,  and  he  lifted 
up  his  voice  and  sang,  just  as  he  had  sung 
when  Charles  and  Unity  first  discovered  him 
and  took  him  home  with  them. 

And  here  is  the  song  that  he  made  up.     To 


'Tis  my  business  to  get  you  humans  into  a  mess  in  these  here  bogs  " 


THE  GALLOPER  209 

sing  a  song  right  off  like  this  is  called  im- 
provising ;  and  it  is  a  very  clever  thing  for  any- 
body to  do,  but  simply  wonderful  for  a  broken- 
down  hot-water  bottle,  made  in  Germany  and 
suffering  from  a  terrible  hole  in  his  side : 

"We  were  walking  quite  harmlessly  by,   wicked 

Jack — 

My  friend  Charles  and  this  lady  and  I — 
When  your  horrible  light 
Lands  us  all  in  a  plight, 
And  you  ought  to  be  slapped  till  you  cry,  wicked 

Jack, 
For  I'm  sure  we  shall  never  be  dry. 

"Your  expression  is  not  of  the  best,  wicked  Jack, 
And  you  do  not  appear  to  be  dressed. 
You  may  think  it  good  fun 
To  behave  as  you've  done; 
But  you'll  sadly  regret  such  a  jest,  wicked  Jack, 
If  I  get  a  bad  cold  on  my  chest !" 

Charles  and  Unity  were  much  pleased  with 
this  spirited  song ;  but  the  Jacky  Toad  only  put 
his  tongue  out  and  made  faces  at  the  hot-water 
bottle.  He  was  not  in  the  least  touched  by 


210  THE  FLINT  HEART 

the  thought  of  a  cold  on  the  bottle's  chest. 
And  this  was  natural  under  the  circumstances, 
because  the  Jacky  Toad  wore  round  his  neck 
the  Flint  Heart — of  course  shrunk  to  fairy 
size. 

Now  it  flashed  in  the  blue  light  thrown  by 
his  lantern,  and  Charles  saw  it. 

"Why,  you're  Marsh  Galloper  himself!" 
cried  the  boy;  and  the  Jacky  Toad  admitted 
that  it  was  so. 

"That  be  my  name  for  sartain,  though  how 
the  mischief  you  found  it  out  I  can't  tell,"  he 
answered. 

"By  that  thing  round  your  neck,"  answered 
Charles. 

"I  wonder  if  you  wouldn't  be  happier  with- 
out it  ?"  asked  Unity. 

"No,  no!"  he  answered.  "  'Tis  a  bit  of 
magic,  that  is,  and  it's  made  me  the  King  of 
Bog  Land,  and  it'll  make  me  the  King  of 
Fairyland  before  I  part  from  it.  That's  the 
sort  of  chap  I  am." 


THE  GALLOPER  211 

"Treason!"  said  Charles.  "You  ought  10 
have  your  head  chopped  off  for  talking  like 
that." 

"You  can't  do  it,"  answered  Marsh  Galloper. 
"You  can't  chop  a  Jacky  Toad's  head  off  any 
more  than  you  can  chop  his  tail  off." 

"I  understand  that  you  want  to  abolish  the 
Veto,"  said  Charles. 

"So  I  do,"  answered  the  imp;  "but  that's  not 
all :  I  want  to  abolish  everybody  and  be  the  top 
of  everything;  and  I'm  going  to  be." 

He  waved  his  lantern  in  circles  and  began 
to  sing  a  song  that  he  had  heard  the  Moor 
men  sing.  But  as  it  had  nothing  to  do  with 
the  case,  I  need  not  put  it  down  here. 

Charles  and  Unity  spoke  aside  together. 
They  did  not  in  the  least  know  what  to  do.  It 
was,  in  fact,  left  to  the  hot-water  bottle  to 
suggest  a  course  of  action.  The  bottle  seemed 
possessed  by  a  spirit  of  genius  to-night.  Not 
content  with  original  verse,  he  now  did  an 
original  thing.  He  screwed  off  his  brass  nose 


212  THE  FLINT  HEART 

with  his  own  hand;  then  whispered  so  softly 
to  Charles  that  the  Jacky  Toad  could  not  over- 
hear him. 

"The  Zagabog  specially  mentioned  me, 
didn't  he?"  asked  the  bottle;  and  then  he  an- 
swered himself,  as  people  who  have  thought 
of  a  splendid  idea  and  are  in  a  hurry  to  tell  it, 
often  do. 

"Yes,  he  specially  mentioned  me;  and  now  I 
know  why!  I  alone  can  catch  the  Jacky 
Toad!" 

"Catch  him!"  whispered  back  Charles. 
"D'you  think  we  ought  to  catch  him?" 

"Certainly  I  do,"  replied  the  bottle.  "That 
is  the  first  step.  He  will  not  listen  to  reason 
while  he  is  free." 

"But  how?"  asked  Charles. 

"In  this  way.  Take  me  and  pop  me  over 
him !  He  cannot  escape ;  because  the  Zagabog 
specially  mentioned  me.  In  fact,  the  only  cage 
that  will  hold  him  tight  is  a  hot-water  bottle 
made  in  Germany.  That's  how  I  read  the  sit- 
uation." 


THE  GALLOPER  213 

"We  can  but  try,"  replied  Charles,  who  was 
amazed  at  the  sudden  and  unexpected  bravery 
of  his  friend. 

"I  wonder  if  he'll  bite  you?"  whispered 
Unity,  and  the  bottle  sighed  his  well-known 
sad  sigh,  like  ginger-beer  escaping. 

"It  will  not  be  the  first  time  that  I  have  been 
bitten/'  he  replied.  "But  I  am  doing  this  for 
the  good  of  the  cause — and  for  private  reasons. 
Now  waste  no  more  time,  or  he  may  hop  away 
and  we  shall  lose  him." 

So  Charles  took  the  bottle  in  one  hand  and 
his  brass  nose  in  the  other.  He  hoped  to 
catch  the  Jacky  toad  by  a  sudden  swift  action, 
and  then  screw  the  bottle's  brass  nose  back 
quickly.  As  for  the  hole  in  the  bottle's  side, 
that  had  been  mended  after  a  rough  fashion 
with  stamp-paper ;  but  whether  he  would  prove 
strong  enough  in  his  present  feeble  condition 
to  make  a  prison  for  Marsh  Galloper  was  a 
doubtful  matter. 

"Don't  whisper,"  said  the  Galloper  suddenly ; 
"that's  rude,  if  you  like — a  jolly  sight  worse 


214  THE  FLINT  HEART 

than  me.  What  are  your  names,  if  I  may 
ask?" 

Charles  humoured  him  and  spoke  as  he  crept 
a  little  nearer. 

"My  sister  is  called  Unity  and  I  am  called 
Charles,  and  this — " 

Here  he  broke  off,  made  a  fierce  grab,  and 
brought  down  the  bottle  with  his  India-rubber 
lips  over  the  Jacky  Toad.  Everything  worked 
well;  the  poor  bottle  was  convulsed  and  shook 
and  nearly  doubled  itself  up  with  pain,  for 
Marsh  Galloper,  finding  himself  caught,  rushed 
about  and  flew  and  scratched  and  bit  and 
kicked  and  screamed  for  his  friend  Fire  Drake 
to  save  him,  and  said  such  wicked  words,  that 
Charles  swiftly  screwed  on  the  bottle's  brass 
nose,  so  that  Unity  should  not  hear  them. 

As  for  the  hot-water  bottle,  he  clasped  his 
hands  over  his  poor  stomach  and  bore  the  pain 
of  the  Jacky  Toad  almost  as  bravely  as  you 
would  bear  the  pain  of  a  mustard-plaster  if  by 
bad  luck  you  had  to  wear  one. 

"All  for  the  good  of  the  cause,"  he  kept  say- 


THE  GALLOPER  215 

ing;  and  this  thought  comforted  his  sorrow, 
as  it  has  often  comforted  the  sorrow  of  other 
great  heroes. 

So  they  caught  the  Jacky  Toad,  and  then  the 
three  hurried  home  as  fast  as  they  could  go 
with  their  prize.  It  seemed  almost  cruel  to 
hang  the  bottle  up  on  his  usual  nail  and  leave 
him  with  Marsh  Galloper  tearing  about  inside 
him,  like  an  angry  mouse  in  a  trap;  but  there 
was  nothing  else  to  be  done  that  night ;  and  the 
bottle  took  it  bravely  and  begged  them  to  go 
to  bed,  but  return  as  early  as  they  could  on 
the  following  morning. 

So  reluctantly  they  left  him,  jumping  and 
swelling  and  throbbing  and  bulging,  and 
nearly,  but  not  quite,  bursting  under  the 
savage  attacks  of  Marsh  Galloper. 

And  to  the  last  they  heard  him  saying,  "It's 
all  for  the  good  of  the  cause;  it's  all  for  the 
good  of  the  cause." 


CHAPTER  XVI 
THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING 

Charles  was  up  very  early  to  visit -the  stable 
where  the  bottle  hung. 

"Hush!"  said  the  hot-water  bottle,  putting 
its  finger  to  its  lips ;  "don't  wake  him,  for  good- 
ness' sake.  I  have  had  a  truly  dreadful  night ; 
in  fact,  I'm  more  dead  than  alive.  At  dawn, 
when  the  cocks  began  to  crow,  the  monster 
grew  quieter ;  and  about  the  time  your  grown- 
up brother  John  came  to  fetch  the  horse  he 
fell  off  to  sleep.  How  long  it  will  last,  I  can't 
say;  and  how  long  I  shall  last  I  can't  say 
either." 

In  fact,  the  Jacky  Toad  had  scratched  and 
nibbled  and  gnawed  and  driven  his  red-hot 
nails  into  the  victim  all  night  long;  but  at  last, 
quite  worn  out  with  his  wicked  exertions,  he 
had  dropped  to  sleep  at  dawn,  so  that  he  might 

216 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    217 

regain  his  strength  and  begin  all  over  again 
when  he  woke  up. 

"The  first  thing,"  said  Charles,  "is  to  get  the 
Flint  Heart  away  from  him ;  then  we  shall  see 
what  sort  of  person  he  really  is.  Nobody  can 
tell  till  we  take  it  from  him.  Now,  bottle,  if 
you're  ready,  I'll  screw  your  nose  off  and  pull 
him  out." 

"Then  put  on  a  pair  of  those  ditcher's 
gloves  that  the  men  use.  If  you  don't,  he'll 
bite  you  to  the  bone,"  said  the  bottle. 

But  Marsh  Galloper  did  no  such  thing.  He 
tumbled  out  of  the  mouth  of  the  bottle  like  a 
sleeping  dormouse.  Only,  instead  of  being 
russet  and  soft  and  cuddly,  he  was  black  and 
hard  and  bristly.  His  eyes  were  shut  and  he 
had  curled  himself  up  quite  tight  and  passed 
his  tail  twice  round  his  body.  In  this  attitude 
Marsh  Galloper  looked  very  much  like  a  pickled 
walnut,  and  Charles  had  leisure  to  examine 
his  tiny  black  feet  and  hands,  his  tail,  with  a 
claw  at  the  end  like  a  spider's  foot,  and  the 
look  of  determination  that  sat  on  his  grim  and 


218  THE  FLINT  HEART 

dusky  little  face  even  in  sleep.  The  Flint 
Heart,  reduced  to  the  size  of  a  marsh  asphodel 
seed-case,  hung  round  his  neck,  and  Charles 
removed  it  and  returned  the  Jacky  Toad  to  his 
prison.  But  he  comforted  the  hot-water  bot- 
tle as  he  did  so. 

"Be  sure,"  said  he,  "that  the  thing  won't  bite 
and  scratch  as  it  used  to.  Nothing  bites  and 
scratches  so  badly  when  the  Flint  Heart  is 
taken  away  from  it.  You  may  even  find  that 
Marsh  Galloper  is  quite  a  pleasant  person  when 
he  wakes  up." 

But  the  bottle  doubted  this. 

"I  don't  think  so,"  he  answered.  "And  in 
any  case  I  hope  the  fairies  will  richly  reward 
me  for  all  I've  done." 

"The  least  they  can  do  is  to  mend  you," 
said  Charles.  "And  I  feel  very  hopeful  that 
they  will,  when  I  tell  them  how  brave  you  have 
been." 

"You  put  new  life  into  me  when  you  say 
that,"  answered  the  other.  "I  don't  ask  for 
impossibilities,  remember.  I  don't  expect 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    219 

them  to  make  me  a  new  bottle.  At  my  age, 
and  after  seeing  the  life  I  have  seen,  one  is 
perfectly  contented  to  be  second-hand;  and  no 
sensible  people  think  any  the  worse  of  one  for 
that — we  must  all  come  to  it ;  but  if  they  would 
mend  me  and  polish  me  up  generally  and  make 
me  water-tight  and  self-respecting — .  How- 
ever, I  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  such 
a  concatenation  is  too  good  to  be  true." 

While  the  bottle  was  using  these  absurdly 
long  words,  and  rubbing  his  stomach  gently  as 
he  did  so,  the  Flint  Heart  began  to  grow  to 
its  usual  size  and  Charles  fell  to  wondering 
what  he  had  better  do  with  it. 

"If  you  take  my  advice,  you'll  fling  it  into  the 
beech-wood,"  said  the  bottle.  "Nobody  will 
find  it  there,  and  it  will  be  soon  covered  up 
with  leaves  and  forgotten.  So  Charles,  very 
foolishly,  did  as  he  was  bidden  and  hurled  the 
Flint  Heart  into  a  thick  wood  that  rose  be- 
hind his  father's  farm. 

An  hour  later  he  set  off  as  fast  as  he  could 
for  the  Pixies'  Holt  with  his  good  news. 


220  THE  FLINT  HEART 

De  Quincey's  Secretary  appeared  to  be  ex- 
pecting him,  and  when  he  arrived  made  use 
of  the  magic  charm  and  reduced  Charles  to 
fairy  size.  Then  he  gave  him  a  letter.  It 
came  from  the  fairy  poet  and  ran  as  follows: 

"My  dear  Charles, 

"The  good  news  of  your  performance  last 
night  has  reached  the  Court  this  morning,  and 
you  will  be  glad  to  hear  that  the  Jacky  Toads, 
on  losing  their  leader,  have  surrendered  at 
discretion  and  begged  for  mercy.  The  King 
has  decided  to  forgive  them,  and  the  royal 
Jacky  Toad  bodyguard  has  resumed  its  duties. 
But  Marsh  Galloper  may  not  return.  He  will 
probably  be  deported,  or  thrust  out  of  his  native 
Bog  Land  for  ever.  This  dreadful  sentence 
should  have  been  passed  by  the  King  an  hour 
ago;  but  the  Queen,  whether  wisely  or  un- 
wisely I  will  not  pretend  to  say,  pleaded  with 
His  Majesty  to  think  twice  before  signing  the 
decree.  It  is  now  decided  that  Marsh  Gal- 
loper be  left  in  your  hands  for  the  space  of  a 
fortnight;  and  if,  during  that  time,  you  and 
your  sister  can  teach  him  a  few  things  worth 
knowing  and  improve  his  character,  his 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    221 

language,  his  manners,  and  his  political 
opinions,  then  he  may  perhaps  be  allowed  to 
return  to  his  friends.  We  much  regret  to 
hear  by  secret  messenger  that  you  flung  away 
the  Flint  Heart  again.  No  respectable  bird, 
beast,  fish,  or  other  creature  is  safe  until  the 
horrid  thing  is  destroyed.  Do  not  suppose  that 
you  are  doing  any  good  by  flinging  it  away. 
We  shall  hear  of  it  again  only  too  soon. 

"I  remain,  my  dear  Charles,  with  kind  re- 
membrances to  Unity  and  the  dog  Ship,  your 
friend, 

"DE  QUINCEY." 

"P.  S.  ( i ) . — I  have  not  attempted  to  intro- 
duce the  magic  of  English  prose  into  this  letter, 
because  I  find  myself  in  a  great  hurry  this 
morning,  and  you  wouldn't  have  appreciated  it 
in  any  case. 

"P.  S.  (2). — The  King  talks  of  making  me 
an  O.M.  This  is  the  greatest  honour  you  can 
get  in  Fairyland,  and  is  much  better  than  being 
created  a  duke  or  an  earl  or  anything  of  that 
kind.  The  letters  O.M.  stand  for  'Observe 
Me !'  and  if  I  get  them,  I  shall  have  them  em- 
broidered on  all  my  coat  tails.  I  hope  you  will 
remark  them  when  next  we  meet." 


222  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Mr.  De  Quincey  seems  as  much  pleased 
with  himself  as  usual,"  said  Charles;  and  the 
Secretary  admitted  that  it  was  so. 

"He's  making  a  name  fast,"  he  answered, 
"and  he's  so  busy  running  about  in  society  and 
reciting  his  poems  at  public  luncheons  and 
charitable  dinners,  and  so  on,  that  he  hasn't 
time  to  write  any  new  ones." 

"I'm  glad  to  hear  the  King  is  going  to  turn 
him  into  an  O.M.,"  said  Charles. 

And  then,  much  to  his  surprise,  the  Secre- 
tary shut  one  eye  and  tapped  his  nose  with  his 
left  forefinger. 

"Bunkum!"  said  the  Secretary,  rather  bit- 
terly. 

It  was  the  first  time  that  Charles  had  ever 
seen  him  show  a  spark  of  feeling. 

Then  he  reversed  the  charm,  and  Charles 
went  off  home.  He  thought  that  the  fairies 
might  have  called  Marsh  Galloper  back  and 
educated  him  themselves;  but  then  he  saw 
how  great  a  compliment  it  was  that  such  a  busi- 
ness should  have  been  left  in  his  hands. 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    223 

First  Charles  had  to  see  what  the  pupil  al- 
ready knew;  and  the  next  thing  was  to  see 
what  Unity  and  he  himself  knew.  He  ran 
over  his  own  information  on  the  way  home  back 
to  Merripit,  and  was  rather  depressed  to  find 
that  it  did  not  amount  to  much.  And,  of 
course,  Unity  knew  less,  being  only  five  and 
a-half. 

He  and  Unity  had  a  long  talk  about  it  at  the 
next  opportunity,  and  she  agreed  with  him 
that  the  first  thing  was  to  find  out  what  the 
Jacky  Toad  himself  knew. 

They  went  to  the  stable  and  were  astonished 
and  pleased  to  find  the  bottle  and  Marsh  Gal- 
loper in  friendly  conversation.  In  fact,  an  im- 
mense change  had  come  over  the  Galloper.  He 
was  humble  and  contrite  and  ashamed.  At 
first  Charles  thought  he  must  be  pretending; 
but  this  was  not  so.  The  Jacky  Toad  really 
felt  sorry  and,  since  the  Flint  Heart  had  been 
taken  from  him,  he  began  to  improve  in  every 
way. 

So  Unity  got  a  mouse-trap,  which  Charles 


224  THE  FLINT  HEART 

half-filled  with  wet  bog  moss.  Then  he  or- 
dered Marsh  Galloper  into  it,  and  the  poor 
fellow  obeyed  at  once,  and  listened  to  Charles 
while  he  made  some  remarks. 

"The  other  Jacky  Toads  have  all  said  they 
are  sorry  and  have  all  been  forgiven,"  he  ex- 
plained ;  "and  the  King  meant  to  deport  you — 
which  means  that  you  would  never  have  been 
allowed  to  go  home  again ;  but  he  has  changed 
his  mind,  and  if  we  can  make  you  clever  enough 
and  improve  you  enough  in  a  fortnight,  you 
may  be  allowed  to  return  home.  But  you  will 
have  to  pass  the  examination." 

The  Jacky  Toad  came  out  of  his  moss  and 
showed  great  dismay  and  wrung  both  hands 
with  grief. 

"My  poor  wife !"  he  said. 

"Dear  me!  have  you  got  a  wife?"  asked 
Charles. 

"A  wife,  but  no  family,"  answered  the  Jacky 
Toad.  "Us  live  under  the  root  of  a  bog-bean, 
and  my  wife's  niece  lives  along  with  us,  and 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    225 

us  never  had  no  trouble  till  I  picked  up  thicky 
dratted  stone.  Then  I  got  a  lot  of  nonsense 
in  my  noddle  and  went  fighting  the  other  pixies ; 
and  here  I  be — driven  from  my  home  and  no 
hope  of  getting  back  seemingly." 

"There  is  hope,  if  you  will  set  to  work  and 
learn  all  we  can  teach  you,"  said  Charles. 

"You  can't  larn  me  nothing,"  replied  Marsh 
Galloper.  "I'm  a  born  fool,  that's  what  I  be, 
else  I  wouldn't  be  sitting  here  catched  in  a 
mouse-trap." 

"I  wonder  what  you  do  know  ?"  asked  Unity. 

"Nought — only  a  few  things  about  the  bog 
I  lives  in.  That's  no  good." 

Then  the  bottle  spoke. 

"You  must  know  something  about  the  Veto, 
at  any  rate,"  he  said ;  "because  that's  what  you 
went  fighting  for." 

"Good !"  declared  Charles.  "He  must  know 
that." 

But  tHe  Jacky  Toad  didn't. 

"Be  gormed  if  I  can  tell  'e,"  he  replied. 


226  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"You've  got  to  fight  for  something,  if  you  go 
fighting  at  all ;  so  I  fought  for  that.  But  what 
'tis  I  haven't  a  notion." 

"Then  how  did  you  find  out  there  was  such 
a  thing?"  asked  Charles. 

"From  a  newspaper,"  replied  Marsh  Gal- 
loper. "  'Twas  a  newspaper  by  name  of  'The 
Poor  Man's  Friend/  what  one  of  they  fisher- 
men left  by  the  river;  and  me  and  my  friend 
Fire  Drake  was  going  that  way  and  us  found 
it;  and  Fire  Drake's  a  bit  of  a  scholar,  and  he 
read  out  'Down  with  the  Veto'  So  I  thought 
us  would  shout  the  same." 

"As  you  know  nothing,  we  must  begin  at 
the  beginning,"  declared  Charles.  "I  shall 
teach  you  arithmetic  and  history  and  the  Kings 
of  Israel.  My  sister  Unity  will  teach  you  sew- 
ing and  worsted-work  and  poetry — as  far  as 
she  has  got  herself." 

"And  I,"  said  the  hot-water  bottle,  "will 
give  you  lessons  in  geography,  of  which  I  know 
more  than  you  might  think." 

"I  wonder  if  you'll  learn  enough  in  a  fort- 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    227 

night?"  asked  Unity;  and  Marsh  Galloper  said 
he  feared  not. 

"You'll  get  me  purty  well  mazed  among 
you,"  he  answered.  And  the  hot-water  bottle 
admitted  the  truth  of  it. 

"Yes,  yes,  I  see  a  danger  there,"  he  said.  "If 
we  try  to  teach  him  too  much,  he  will  burst 
somewhere,  as  I  did." 

"I  wonder  what  we'd  better  leave  out?"  asked 
Unity. 

"Sewing,"  suggested  Marsh  Galloper. 

"Anything  else?"  inquired  Charles. 

"The  Kings  of  Israel,"  said  Marsh  Galloper. 
"I'll  have  a  dash  at  the  rest,  though  goodness 
knows  whether  my  thinking  parts  will  stand 
it." 

It  was  arranged  that  lessons  should  begin  on 
the  following  day.  They  found  a  large  airy 
biscuit-tin  for  the  Galloper  to  live  in  while  he 
was  being  educated,  and  they  gave  him  fresh 
bog-moss  every  second  day,  and  half  an  old 
marmalade- jar  of  wet  mud  every  evening. 
But  two  things  troubled  him :  he  could  not  light 


228  THE  FLINT  HEART 

his  lantern  and  he  could  not  write  a  letter  to  his 
wife.  So  they  tried  to  cheer  him  up  and  told 
him  that  if  he  worked  hard  he  would  soon  know 
enough  to  write  to  her.  But  this  unfortunately 
did  not  comfort  him  in  the  least ;  because,  as  he 
explained,  even  if  he  did  write  to  her  she 
couldn't  read  it. 

And  here  the  chapter  ends;  but  there  is  one 
small  thing  to  mention  before  we  go  on,  so  I 
will  say  it  at  once,  that  we  need  not  interfere 
with  the  next  chapter. 

The  bottle  about  this  time  asked  Charles 
and  Unity  a  favour. 

"Everything  has  a  name,"  he  said,  "and  I 
think  I  ought  to  have  one  also.  I  shall  feel 
more  important  then." 

They  quite  agreed  with  him,  and  asked  him 
what  he  would  like  to  be  called. 

"Something  to  remind  me  of  the  Father- 
land," he  answered.  "Of  course  by  'the  Fath- 
erland' I  mean  Germany,  where  I  was  made. 
How  would  Totsdam'  do  ?" 


THE  GALLOPER'S  SCHOOLING    229 

"No,"  said  Charles;  "I  don't  like  the  sound 
of  it." 

The  bottle  reflected. 

"May  I  be  called  William,'  then?"  he  asked. 

"No,"  said  Charles;  "that's  my  father's 
name." 

"How  would  'Bismarck'  do?"  suggested  the 
bottle. 

And  Charles  agreed  to  do  this,  so  in  future 
Bismarck  became  his  name.  It  was  rather  a 
large  name  for  a  humble  hot-water  bottle  out 
of  repair;  but  nobody  was  hurt,  and  I  never 
heard  that  he  brought  any  discredit  upon  it 


CHAPTER  XVII 

THE  EXAMINATION 

I  sha'n't  tell  you  much  about  Marsh  Gal- 
loper's schooling,  because  you  know  perfectly 
well  what  goes  on  at  school  and  what  uphill 
horrid  work  it  is.     And  you  cannot  exactly 
say  that  Marsh  Galloper  was  at  school,  be- 
cause there  were  no  other  scholars.     Of  course 
it  takes  more  than  one  Jacky  Toad  to  make  a 
school,  just  as  it  takes  more  than  one  swallow 
to  make  a  summer,  or  more  than  one  stump 
to  make  a  wicket,  or  more  than  one  currant  to 
make  a  plum-cake.     It  would  be  more  correct 
to  say  that  the  Galloper  was  at  a  "crammer's." 
Indeed,   he   had   three   crammers;    and    they 
crammed  him  with  all  their  power,  and  night 
after  night  the  poor  fellow  went  to  his  wet 
moss  with  a  splitting  headache  after  plastering 
his  forehead  with  fresh  mud  to  cool  it.     And 

230 


THE  EXAMINATION  231 

if  you  had  been  there,  with  ears  sharp  enough, 
you  might  have  heard  him  as  he  tossed  about 
in  his  sleep  saying,  "London  is  the  capital  of 
France;"  "Twice  five  are  four;  twice  six  are 
nine ;  twice  seven  are  fifty-three."  "Mary  had  a 
little  lamb,  its  fleece  was  black  as  jet,  and  every- 
where that  Mary  went  the  lamb  you  also  met," 
and  so  on — which  showed  that  he  was  learning 
steadily,  but  without  much  system. 

All  the  teachers  did  their  best,  and  as  the 
time  approached  for  the  examination  it  was 
necessary  to  keep  Marsh  Galloper  up  with  ex- 
tra doses  of  liquid  mud.  Bismarck  taught  him 
by  night ;  Charles  gave  his  lessons  in  the  after- 
noon, and  Unity  made  him  learn  poetry  and  do 
worsted-work  in  the  morning. 

Then  came  the  great  and  grand  day  of  the 
examination,  and  Charles  took  the  Galloper  to 
the  Pixies'  Holt  in  an  old  tobacco-tin,  and 
handed  him  over  to  some  fairies  who  were 
waiting  for  him.  Charles  very  much  wanted 
to  hear  the  result  of  the  examination,  and 
hoped  that  he  would  be  able  to  take  home  the 


232  THE  FLINT  HEART 

good  news  that  the  Jacky  Toad  had  passed  and 
would  be  allowed  to  return  home.  So  he  sat 
down  and  waited  quietly  outside. 

And  while  he  waited  a  strange  thing  hap- 
pened, for  all  the  birds  and  beasts  were  bustling 
about  in  a  most  unusual  manner,  and  it  was 
quiet  clear  that  something  very  much  out  of  the 
common  had  taken  place  in  the  woods  and  on 
the  Moor.  At  first  Charles  thought  that  all 
the  beasts  were  coming  to  hear  the  examina- 
tion; but  this  was  not  the  case,  for  they  had 
their  own  affairs  to  consider,  and  very  serious 
affairs  they  were.  He  watched,  and  observed 
that  there  was  evidently  some  method  in  the 
public  excitement.  They  were  collecting  in 
groups;  and  what  struck  Charles  as  most  ex- 
traordinary was  how  the  creatures  that  usually 
quarrel  at  sight,  or  fight  and  wrangle  at  any 
rate,  if  they  do  not  actually  go  farther  and  eat 
each  other,  were  here  together  all  friendly 
and  all  evidently  busy  about  the  same  matter. 

While  he  watched  them,  however,  we  must 
go  with  Marsh  Galloper  before  the  Examiner. 


THE  EXAMINATION  233 

It  was  a  solemn  sight  that  met  the  Jacky 
Toad's  eyes  when  he  entered  the  Examination 
Hall.  The  main  building  had  been  divided 
down  the  middle,  and  on  one  side  of  the  parti- 
tion were  the  fairies  to  the  number  of  two  or 
three  thousand;  and  on  the  other  were  all  the 
Jacky  Toads  from  Marsh  Galloper's  own  par- 
ticular swamp. 

At  the  end  of  the  hall  was  a  raised  platform 
with  gold  chairs  and  gold  footstools  for  the' 
King  and  Queen  arranged  upon  it.  There  was 
also  a  blackboard  for  the  marks  that  the  Gal- 
loper might  win.  And  there  was  also,  of 
course,  an  Examiner  Royal,  and  the  Examiner 
Royal  was  De  Quincey. 

He  had  not  yet  been  made  an  O.M. ;  but  he 
hoped,  after  the  examination  of  the  Jacky  Toad, 
that  he  would  get  this  great  honour  at  once. 
He  wore  a  cap  and  gown,  and  looked  more 
learned  than  usual. 

Marsh  Galloper  was  brought  in,  and  bowed 
and  scraped  very  humbly,  and  touched  his  fore- 
head to  everybody;  and  Mrs.  Marsh  Galloper, 


234  THE  FLINT  HEART 

who  sat  in  the  front  row  of  the  Jacky  Toads, 
between  her  niece  and  Mrs.  Fire  Drake,  cried 
out  loud  when  she  saw  her  husband,  because  he 
was  looking  so  thin  and  wild  and  sad.  She 
then  asked  if  she  might  kiss  him,  to  give  him 
courage,  but  was  not  allowed  to  do  so. 

A  chair  having  been  placed  for  the  pupil,  De 
Quincey  rose,  hitched  his  gown  about  his  shoul- 
ders— it  was  made  of  two  dead  beech-leaves — 
and  lifted  a  terribly  large  bundle  of  papers 
from  the  table  beside  him. 

"I  beg  to  inform  Your  Majesties,"  he  be- 
gan, "that  we  are  here  to  inquire  into  the  edu- 
cation of  the  late  rebel  Jacky  Toad,  known  as 
Marsh  Galloper.  I  have  heard  from  the  hu- 
man boy  Charles,  that  under  the  gentle  appli- 
cation of  arithmetic  and  history,  geography 
and  poetry,  the  Galloper  has  become  wonder- 
fully improved  in  his  general  character;  and 
that,  of  course,  is  well  as  far  as  it  goes.  Where 
he  was  naughty,  he  is  good;  where  he  was 
rough,  he  is  gentle ;  where  he  used  to  command, 


THE  EXAMINATION  235 

he  now  obeys ;  and  where  he  was  accustomed  to 
use  very  bad  words,  he  now  employs  the  best 
that  he  has  been  taught.  But  his  fate  does 
not  depend  upon  these  things.  It  depends  on 
what  he  has  learned;  and  if  he  passes  the  ex- 
amination which  now  awaits  him  he  will  be 
allowed  to  return  home  to  his  wife,  his  rela- 
tions, and  his  acquaintances;  but  if  he  fails, 
then  he  will  be  cast  out — to  be  seen  again 
among  the  people  of  the  bog  at  his  own  peril." 

Everybody  applauded  De  Quincey  for  put- 
ting the  matter  so  clearly  before  them.  Then 
he  made  a  few  more  remarks. 

"Our  examination  consists  of  arithmetic,  his- 
tory, geography,  worsted-work,  poetry,  and 
general  knowledge;  and  I  propose,  if  Your 
Majesties  are  willing,  to  take  the  general- 
knowledge  paper  first." 

Unfortunately,  the  Jacky  Toad's  weakest 
subject  was  general  knowledge ;  because  neither 
Charles  nor  Unity  had  any  worth  mentioning. 
So,  of  course,  they  couldn't  teach  him.  But 


236  THE  FLINT  HEART 

the  bottle  knew  a  thing  or  two,  and  Marsh  Gal- 
loper determined  at  any  rate  to  make  the  best 
of  himself. 

"My  first  question  is  this,"  began  De  Quin- 
cey,  consulting  his  papers : 

"What's  a  freemason?" 

Every  eye  was  turned  on  the  Galloper,  and 
the  audience  was  not  unfriendly  to  him.  No- 
body really  much  liked  De  Quincey — both  be- 
cause he  was  clever,  and  because  he  made  such 
a  fuss  about  it.  But  if  you're  an  "intellectual," 
of  course  you  must  behave  according,  or  people 
won't  know  it. 

Marsh  Galloper  frowned  and  looked  at  the 
ceiling,  and  then  at  the  windows,  and  then  at 
his  toes.  Naturally  he  had  not  the  ghost  of 
a  notion  what  a  freemason  was.  At  last  he 
spoke. 

"I  can't  tell  'e,  because  I  doan't  knaw,"  he 
said  in  his  broad  Devonshire. 

"You  don't  know ! — very  good — or,  I  should 
say,  very  bad.  Your  Majesties,  I  ask  you  to 


THE  EXAMINATION  237 

observe  that  the  prisoner  at  the  bar  does  not 
know  what  a  freemason  is." 

"A  free  mason,"  said  the  King,  indulgently 
to  his  people,  "is  a  mason  who  has  not  joined 
his  Trades  Union.  Now  on  we  go." 

De  Quincey  took  a  piece  of  chalk  and  wrote 
a  big  O  on  the  blackboard.  Then  he  asked  the 
next  question : 

"What  is  a  categorical  imperative?" 

"Never  saw  one ;  so  I  can't  say,"  replied  the 
student. 

De  Quincey  shrugged  his  shoulders,  and 
wrote  up  another  big  O. 

The  Jacky  Toads  all  began  to  get  anxious, 
and  there  was  a  good  deal  of  whispering. 

"You  will  observe,  Your  Majesties,  that  the 
prisoner  has  never  seen  a  categorical  impera- 
tive," said  the  Examiner;  and  the  King,  with 
his  usual  good-nature,  explained  it. 

"They  occur  in  the  woods,  with  the  other 
members  of  the  fungi  family,  during  October 
and  November,"  he  explained. 


238  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Everybody  cheered,  and  De  Quincey  asked 
another  question : 

"Is  the  Moon  or  the  Sun  more  important?" 

"The  Moon,"  answered  Marsh  Galloper  in- 
stantly. 

"Wrong,"  said  the  Examiner. 

"The  Moon's  the  most  important  to  me,"  ar- 
gued the  Galloper. 

"You — you're  nobody,"  replied  De  Quincey. 

"I'd  soon  show  whether  I  was  nobody  if  I  got 
you  in  my  bog!"  replied  the  pupil  warmly. 
Then  the  King  spoke. 

"Put  up  one  mark  to  the  prisoner,"  he  said. 
"He  was  perfectly  right  to  say  The  Moon/  be- 
cause, from  his  Point  of  View,  it  is  the  more 
important.  I  must  ask  you  all  to  remember 
what  the  dear  Zagabog  said  on  the  subject  of 
Points  of  View  when  last  he  dined  with  us." 

So  De  Quincey  put  up  a  mark,  though  with 
very  ill  grace. 

"We  now  proceed  to  arithmetic,"  said  the 
Examiner.  "And  I  should  like  to  know  the 
prisoner's  opinion  of  five  times  six." 


THE  EXAMINATION  239 

"Twenty-nine,"  said  the  Galloper. 

"Wrong,"  answered  De  Quincey,  and  put  up 
another  big  O. 

But  the  King  made  him  rub  it  out  again. 

"He  was  so  very  nearly  right,  that  he 
may  have  full  marks  all  but  one,"  said  the 
King. 

The  Jacky  Toads  cheered  loudly,  and  De 
Quincey  wrote  up  a  4. 

"If  you  multiply  three  by  four,  and  divide 
the  result  by  two,  and  subtract  one,  and  then 
add  seven,  and  then  multiply  the  total  by 
twelve,  what's  the  answer  ?"  asked  De  Quincey. 

Of  course  the  Galloper  had  not  the  slightest 
idea,  and  no  more  had  anybody  else ;  but  he  felt 
that  it  was  a  case  for  making  a  shot,  so  he  made 
one.  He  knew  that  twelve  times  twelve,  which 
was  the  highest  number  he  had  reached,  was 
one  hundred  and  forty-four.  So  he  thought 
that  would  do  as  well  as  anything,  and  said  it. 

"Right!"  answered  De  Quincey,  and  put  up 
five  marks  on  the  blackboard ;  but  when  the  im- 
mense cheering  had  subsided,  the  King  ordered 


240  THE  FLINT  HEART 

his  Examiner  Royal  to  write  up  a  hundred 
marks. 

"It  is  a  perfectly  magnificent  answer,  and  I 
could  not  have  replied  more  correctly  myself," 
said  the  King.  "So  put  up  a  hundred  at  once !" 

Of  course  De  Quincey  had  to  obey;  but  as 
five  was  full  marks,  it  rather  muddled  up  his 
arrangements. 

"There  will  be  no  more  arithmetic,"  he  said 
rather  shortly.  "I  shall  now  proceed  to  his- 
tory." 

So  he  proceeded  to  history. 

"My  first  question  is,  where  did  Julius  Caesar 
land?" 

"At  Plymouth,"  answered  the  Galloper.  It 
was  the  only  seaport  that  he  knew/ 

"Wrong,"  replied  De  Quincey,  and  chalked 
up  a  big  O. 

"Wait !"  said  the  King.  "As  a  good  Devon 
pixy,  I  ask  if  you  are  quite  sure  he  is  wrong  ?" 

"Quite,  Your  Royal  Highness,"  replied  the 
Examiner.  "It  is  believed  that  he  landed  at 
Deal." 


THE  EXAMINATION  241 

"Well,  /  believe  that  he  landed  at  Ply- 
mouth," said  the  King.  "He  was  a  clever 
man,  and  he  would  never  have  made  a  mis- 
take of  that  kind.  Full  marks  for  the  Gal- 
loper!" 

A  cheer  rewarded  the  King  for  this  clever 
correction  of  history,  and  De  Quincey  chalked 
up  five  marks.  But  he  didn't  like  it. 

"My  second  question  occurs  in  the  reign  of 
William  and  Mary,"  he  continued.  "What 
does  the  prisoner  know  of  Mary?" 

"  'Mary  had  a  little  lamb/  "  replied  Marsh 
Galloper  instantly. 

"That's  wrong,  at  any  rate,"  declared  De 
Quincey.  "You're  mixing  up  poetry  with  his- 
tory." 

"Well,"  said  the  King,  "even  if  he  is,  he's 
not  the  first  person  to  do  so." 

"Of  course,  if  Your  Majesty  is  satisfied — " 
replied  the  Examiner,  with  a  shrug  of  his 
shoulders. 

"Perfectly,"  said  the  King.  "And  now  let's 
go  on  to  something  else.  I  never  much  cared 


242  THE  FLINT  HEART 

about  history  myself — except,  of  course,  the 
history  of  my  own  kingdom." 

"We  now  come  to  worsted-work,"  said  the 
Examiner  Royal;  "and  as  I  don't  pretend  to 
know  anything  of  that  subject  I  must  ask  Your 
Majesty  to  call  a  jury  of  spinsters." 

"No  need,"  said  the  Queen  suddenly.  "I 
will  decide  that  point." 

The  Queen  seldom  spoke,  but  when  she  did 
she  was  always  well  worth  hearing.  Every- 
body clapped  their  hands,  and  the  Galloper 
produced  his  performance.  Under  Unity's  di- 
rection he  had  worked  a  tiny  sampler  on  a 
whortleberry-leaf.  At  each  corner  was  a  star 
with  six  points,  and  in  the  middle  were  the 
words  "Bless  our  Home" 

The  Queen  examined  the  work  carefully. 

"A  masterpiece,"  she  said ;  "I  will  keep  it !" 

"Her  Majesty  honours  the  Galloper  by  keep- 
ing his  sampler  for  her  own  use.  Treble 
marks!"  announced  the  King. 

When  the  applause  had  ceased,  and  Mrs. 
Marsh  Galloper  had  been  calmed  down,  for 


THE  EXAMINATION  243 

she  was  growing  quite  hysterical  with  the 
strain,  De  Quincey  took  up  the  next  paper. 

"Geography,"  he  said  shortly.  In  fact,  he 
was  getting  shorter  and  shorter,  and  really  he 
felt  in  rather  a  rage.  But  you  can't  be  in  a 
rage  before  the  King,  or  you  will  get  into 
trouble;  so  he  hid  his  feelings  as  well  as  he 
could. 

"Geography  is  my  own  favourite  subject," 
declared  His  Majesty ;  "and  a  good  deal  will  de- 
pend upon  the  answers  to  this  paper. 

But  a  thought  struck  the  Queen. 

"It  is  tea-time,"  she  said. 

"Then  the  examination  is  suspended  for  half 
an  hour,"  replied  the  King. 

He  rose  with  the  Queen,  and  they  retired 
to  their  private  apartments.  A  great  clatter 
filled  the  Examination  Hall,  and  some  were 
hopeful  for  the  Galloper,  and  some  looked  at  the 
long  row  of  big  O's  and  shook  their  heads. 
Everybody  was  still  chattering  when  the  King 
returned,  and  it  was  noticed  that  he  had 
brought  with  him  his  own  "Manual  of  Modern 
Geography." 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

THE   JACKY   TOAD   FAILS 

"Our  first  question,"  began  De  Quincey, 
"belongs  to  the  physical  branch  of  the  subject — 
namely,  What  is  the  size,  in  square  miles,  of 
the  United  States  of  America  ?" 

The  Galloper  did  not  even  make  a  shot  at 
this  terrific  question. 

"I  doan't  knaw  at  all,"  he  said. 

"Mark  that,  Your  Majesty!  He  doesn't 
know  everything,  after  all !"  said  De  Quincey, 
rather  unkindly. 

"Of  course  he  doesn't,"  answered  the  King. 
"Who  does — excepting  the  Zagabog?  Next 
question." 

The  Examiner  marked  up  a  big  O,  and  pro- 
ceeded. 

"What  is  the  difference  between  a  peninsula 
and  an  isthmus  ?" 

244 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       245 

"That's  a  riddle,"  said  the  King.  "I  won't 
have  riddles  asked  at  a  serious  time  like  this. 
Next  question." 

"What  is  the  difference — "  began  De  Quin- 
cey  again.  But  the  King  stopped  him. 

"I  tell  you  I  won't  have  it !"  he  said. 

"What  does  the  prisoner  know  of  volcanoes, 
then?"  continued  the  Examiner.  He  was  feel- 
ing rather  like  a  volcano  himself  by  this  time. 

"An  excellent  question,"  said  the  King. 
"What  does  the  prisoner  know  of  volcanoes?" 

Unfortunately  Marsh  Galloper  knew  noth- 
ing about  them;  the  King  frowned,  and  the 
hearts  of  all  the  Jacky  Toads  sank. 

"For  the  benefit  of  my  subjects  in  general,  I 
may  say  that  the  extinct  volcanoes  are  found 
generally  on  the  mainland,  while  the  active 
volcanoes,  save  one,  occur  on  islands,"  con- 
tinued the  King.  "Etna,  at  Sicily,  is  the  larg- 
est in  Europe  for  the  moment.  But  you  never 
know  what  may  happen.  Dartmoor  was  a 
volcano  once.  Proceed." 

But  I  really  cannot  tell  you  much  more  about 


246  THE  FLINT  HEART 

the  geography  paper,  because  it  is  too  painful. 
De  Quincey  kept  asking  questions,  and  the 
Galloper  couldn't  answer  any  of  them,  because 
the  only  geography  that  he  knew  had  been 
taught  him  by  the  hot-water  bottle,  and  it  con- 
cerned nothing  but  Germany. 

A  fearful  row  of  big  O's  appeared  on  the 
board,  and  at  last  the  Galloper,  in  a  voice  of 
anguish,  cried  out : 

"May  it  please  Your  Gracious  Royal  Maj- 
esty, let  me  ask  him  something  for  a  change !" 

"Ridiculous  nonsense!"  cried  De  Quincey. 
"What  next,  I  should  like  to  know?  Who 
ever  heard  of  a  person  who  is  being  examined 
asking  the  Examiner  a  question?  Such  a 
thing  never  was  known  to  happen,  Your  Maj- 
esty." 

"Well,"  answered  the  King,  "because  a 
thing  never  happened,  that's  no  reason  why  it 
never  should.  Let  us  be  broad-minded  and 
welcome  novelties.  It  is  quite  too  absurd  to 
suppose  that  the  prisoner,  who  has  only  been 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       247 

learning  geography  for  a  fortnight,  can  ask 
you  anything  you  don't  know." 

"Of  course  it  is,"  answered  De  Quincey. 

"Then  let  him  go  ahead !"  ordered  the  King, 
and  Marsh  Galloper  instantly  began. 

"What  be  the  names  of  the  six  Grand 
Duchies  of  the  German  Empire  ?"  he  said. 

"A  capital  question!"  cried  the  King,  open- 
ing his  "Manual." 

But  De  Quincey  had  not  the  slightest  idea 
of  the  answer.  He  frowned,  and  coughed, 
and  blew  his  nose,  and  curled  his  whiskers,  and 
then  laughed  and  said: 

"What  an  extraordinary  thing — if  they 
haven't  quite  slipped  out  of  my  memory  for  the 
moment !" 

"Ask  him  another,"  said  the  King. 

"What  do  'e  know  of  Baden?"  inquired 
the  Galloper. 

"Baden  ?"  asked  De  Quincey,  to  gain  time. 

"Ess,  Baden,"  answered  the  Jack  Toad. 

"Well,    let    me    see— tut,    tut!    What    a 


248  THE  FLINT  HEART 

memory  I've  got!"  said  the  Examiner  Royal. 
"On  the  tip  of  my  tongue  too !" 

"So  were  the  answers  to  all  your  questions 
on  the  tip  of  my  tongue,  I  do  assure  'e.  But  I 
couldn't  manage  to  get  'em  off!"  said  the  Gal- 
loper. 

"Since  my  Examiner  Royal  does  not  know 
anything  about  Baden,  I  may  tell  you  all  that 
it  is  the  most  important  watering  place  in  Ger- 
many," declared  the  King  drily.  "Ask  him 
another." 

"What  are  the  tributaries  of  the  Danube?" 
asked  Marsh  Galloper.  "And  what  sea  does 
it  flow  into?" 

De  Quincey  thought  he  knew  this,  and  so 
pretended  it  was  an  easy  question. 

"Every  school  fairy  could  answer  that,"  he 
replied.  "The  tributaries  of  the  Danube  are 
the  Moldau  and  the  Eger." 

"Wrong!"  screamed  the  Galloper.  "You're 
mixing  it  up  with  the  Elbe." 

"It's  a  pity  you  were  so  eager  to  reply,"  re- 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       249 

marked  the  King;  and  there  was  a  great  shout 
of  laughter. 

But  it  was  not  wise  to  make  public  fun  of  a 
great  poet  pixy  for  long,  and  the  King  knew 
very  well  that  anybody,  no  matter  how  clever, 
may  be  made  to  look  foolish  if  one  takes 
a  little  trouble  to  do  it.  So  he  announced  that 
the  geography  examination  was  ended. 

"The  last  subject  is  poetry/'  said  De 
Quincey,  quite  humbly.  "Is  it  Your  Majesty's 
wish  that  I  should  examine  the  prisoner  in 
poetry  ?" 

"If  you  please,"  replied  the  King;  and  he 
added,  with  his  usual  tact  and  kindness :  "We 
well  know  that  on  the  subject  of  poetry  you 
stand  first  in  our  kingdom." 

De  Quincey  bowed  at  this  delicate  compli- 
ment, and  the  examination  continued. 

"In  this  case,"  said  the  Examiner,  who  had 
evidently  profited  by  his  sharp  lesson,  "the 
simplest  plan  will  be — not  to  ask  you  what  you 
don't  know,  but  to  find  out  what  you  do." 


250  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Bravo!"  cried  the  King.  "The  very  es- 
sence of  the  Examiner's  art.  Proceed." 

"Let  us  hear  some  poetry,  please,"  said  De 
Quincey.  "We  do  not  expect  anything  very 
wonderful  in  a  fortnight;  but  the  great  thing 
is  to  understand  what  you  know,  and  not 
merely  to  repeat  it  like  a  parrot." 

Marsh  Galloper  put  his  paws  behind  him, 
and  recited  the  nursery  rhymes  that  Unity  had 
taught  him.  All  went  pretty  well,  and  he 
gained  several  good  marks.  There  was,  in 
fact,  only  one  little  breeze  between  the  King 
and  De  Quincey,  and  it  happened  in  this  way. 
The  Galloper  had  correctly  recited  several 
classical  verses,  and  then  he  spoke  as  follows: 

"Little  Miss  Muffet 
She  sat  on  a  tuffet, 

Eating  her  curds  and  whey, 
When  there  came  a  great  hornet 
And  played  on  his  cornet 
And  frightened  Miss  Muffet  away." 

"Wrong!"   said  De  Quincey,  and  he  was 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       251 

going  to  put  up  a  big  O,  when  the  King 
gently  stopped  him. 

"You  are  quite  right  to  say  that  he  is 
wrong,"  began  the  King;  "but  perhaps,  in 
actual  practice,  it  would  not  much  matter 
whether  Miss  Muffet  was  alarmed  by  a  spider 
or  a  hornet.  I  mean  that  the  result  in  either 
case  is  the  same.  Her  terror  and  flight  are 
the  dramatic  point  of  the  poem,  and  whether 
it  was  the  rudeness  of  a  spider,  sitting  down 
beside  her  without  an  invitation,  or  the  stupid 
practical  joke  of  a  hornet  in  suddenly  sound- 
ing his  cornet  close  to  her  ear,  appears  to  me 
to  matter  but  little.  I  confess  that  is  how  the 
situation  strikes  me,  as  an  impartial  observer; 
but  if  I  am  mistaken,  please  correct  me." 

"Your  Majesty  is  perfectly  correct,"  replied 
De  Quincey.  "I  had  not  looked  at  it  in  that 
light.  It  is  a  variation  of  the  classical  ver- 
sion; but  there  may  be  authorities  to  support 
it.  And,  as  you  cleverly  point  out,  the  result 
to  the  heroine  of  the  poem  is  the  same.  The 


252  THE  FLINT  HEART 

dreadful  climax  of  her  terror  and  flight  re- 
mains." 

"In  any  case,"  declared  the  Queen,  "variety 
is  charming." 

"Go  on,"  said  the  Examiner  Royal. 

"I  don't  know  any  more,"  replied  Marsh 
Galloper;  "but  after  Unity  had  taught  me 
these,  I  made  up  a  little  bit  of  a  rhyme  my- 
self. It  ban't  very  clever,  of  course,  but  I  just 
mention  it  to  show  how  terrible  hard  I  have 
tried." 

"Repeat  it,"  ordered  the  King,  "and  let  no- 
body laugh." 

So  the  prisoner  recited  these  words : 

"Shall  I  never  see  my  own  Marsh  again, 
And  the  hole  by  the  old  bog-bean  ? 
Must  I  leave  my  wife  behind, 
Who  was  always  good  and  kind? 
Shall  I  never  see  my  own  Marsh  again  ? 

"Shall  I  never  see  my  dear  friends  again, 
And  the  skull  of  the  old  dead  horse? 
Shall  I  never  wave  my  light, 
So  blue  and  queer  and  bright, 
From  the  skull  of  the  old  dead  horse? 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       253 

"Shall  I  never  suck  the  beautiful  mud 
That  abounds  at  my  little  front  door  ? 
Shall  I  never  hop  and  dance 
And  sing  and  leap  and  prance? 
Shall  I  never  see  my  Marsh  any  more? 

"Shall  I  never ?" 


Here  the  King  stopped  Marsh  Galloper. 

"Not  another  verse,"  he  said.  "I  couldn't 
stand  it.  The  poem  is  too  pathetic.  Not  an- 
other verse." 

In  fact,  the  King  need  not  have  ordered  no- 
body to  laugh.  It  would  have  been  more  to 
the  point  if  he  had  ordered  nobody  to  cry,  for 
the  Jacky  Toad's  rhyme  had  brought  tears  to 
the  eyes  of  many  among  the  company.  As 
for  Mrs.  Marsh  Galloper,  she  cried  so  bitterly 
that  her  niece  could  not  comfort  her,  and  the 
Queen,  who  was  also  somewhat  moved,  sent 
the  poor  wife  her  own  bottle  of  smelling-salts 
by  one  of  the  young  princes. 

"The  form  is  crude,"  declared  De  Quincey, 
"but  the  sentiment  is  haunting.  It  is  real 
poetry  and  may  have  full  marks.  He  chalked 


254  THE  FLINT  HEART 

up  five  for  the  Galloper's  effort,  and  then  spoke 
again : 

"The  Examination  is  now  concluded,  and  I 
am  about  to  count  up  the  marks.  The  maxi- 
mum is  two  thousand  and  seventy-five ;  the  min- 
imum is  eighty.  I  much  fear,  when  the  big  O's 
are  added  up  and  subtracted  from  the  marks, 
that  we  shall  find  the  prisoner  has  not  suc- 
ceeded." 

A  great  silence  fell  on  all  the  fairies  and 
Jacky  Toads,  and  presently  De  Quincey,  after 
adding  up  the  noughts  and  subtracting  them 
from  the  marks,  shook  his  head. 

"Alas!"  he  said;  and  I  think  he  was  really 
rather  sorry.  "Seventy-eight  noughts  from 
one  hundred  and  twenty  marks  leaves  only 
forty-two  marks.  The  prisoner  has  failed!" 

A  deep  groan  burst  from  Fire  Drake  and  the 
Galloper's  friends.  His  wife  fainted  and  was 
carried  into  an  ante-chamber ;  and  the  Galloper 
himself  fell  on  his  knees  and  lifted  his  clasped 
hands  to  the  King,  and  fixed  his  ruby-red  eyes 
on  the  royal  countenance.  Everybody  re- 


The  Galloper  fell  on  his  knees 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       255 

garded  His  Majesty  with  deep  agitation.  A 
few  excitable  fairies  hissed  the  Examiner 
Royal;  but  of  course  he  had  only  done  his 
duty. 

The  King  put  up  his  double  eyeglasses,  and 
calmly  looked  at  the  blackboard  whereon  the 
figures  appeared. 

"Pardon  me,"  he  said,  "and  if  I  am  wrong, 
correct  me;  but  as  I  think  it  is  you  who  are 
mistaken,  I  must  humbly  venture  to  correct 
you.  Now  let  us  see.  In  the  first  place,  how 
many  noughts  have  you  there  ?" 

"Seventy-eight,  Your  Majesty,"  replied  the 
Examiner. 

"Very  good.  Now,  what  do  seventy-eight 
noughts  come  to?" 

"Seventy-eight,  Your  Majesty." 

"I  beg  your  pardon,"  replied  the  King. 
"If  I  am  not  gravely  in  error,  seventy-eight 
noughts  come  to  nothing  at  all." 

A  loud  shout  ascended;  but  the  King  raised 
his  hand  for  silence. 

"Let    us    be    strictly   just,"    he    continued. 


256  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"You  will  not  deny  that  nought  is  nothing? 
That  fact  is  known  to  everybody." 

"You  are  misunderstanding  me,  Your 
Majesty,"  explained  De  Quincey.  "How- 
ever," he  continued,  using  a  phrase  somewhat 
similar  to  that  once  employed  by  the  great  Dr. 
Johnson,  "it  is  not  for  me  to  bandy  figures 
with  my  Sovereign." 

"Then,"  returned  the  King,  "let  us  have  a 
second  opinion.  I  am  always  reasonable,  I 
hope.  Send  for  Charles !" 

So  De  Quincey's  Secretary  went  out,  and 
found  Charles  fast  asleep  among  the  foxgloves. 
He  had  grown  tired  of  watching  the  beasts, 
and  weary  of  wondering  what  on  earth  they 
were  all  about.  But  when  the  Secretary  woke 
him,  he  leapt  to  his  feet  and  cried : 

"Has  he  passed?" 

"No,"  said  the  Secretary,  "he  has  not.  At 
least,  my  master  says  he  hasn't ;  but  the  King 
isn't  too  pleased  about  it,  and  he  wants  another 
opinion.  That's  why  he  has  sent  for  you." 

Charles  was  reduced  to  fairy  size,  and  ac- 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       257 

companied  the  messenger  as  quickly  as  pos- 
sible. 

On  the  way  he  asked  a  question. 
"Has  De  Quincey  got  the  'O.M.'?" 
"No,  he  hasn't;  but  he  very  nearly  got  into 
a  great  mess,"  replied  the  Secretary.      "How 
I  did  laugh !     And  I'm  afraid  he  saw  me  laugh- 
ing, so  no  doubt  I  shall  catch  it  when  the  ex- 
amination is  over." 

The  King  greeted  Charles  kindly. 

"How  do  you  do,  my  human  boy?"  he  asked. 
"But  indeed  I  need  not  inquire,  for  your  cheek 
and  your  eyes  are  bright  with  the  glow  of 
health.  Now,  Mr.  De  Quincey  and  myself 
disagree  about  a  question  of  figures,  and  it 
shows  how  even  the  simplest  things  are  really 
difficult,  just  as  the  difficultest  things  are  really 
simple,  In  one  word,  then,  how  much  are 
seventy-eight  noughts?  Don't  answer  in  a 
hurry.  I  think  one  thing ;  my  Examiner  Royal 
thinks  another.  We  are  both  content  to  abide 
by  your  decision." 


258  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Charles  considered,  and  a  great  silence  fell 
on  the  company. 

At  last  he  spoke: 

"Seventy-eight  noughts  are — nothing,  Your 
Majesty." 

A  roar  of  applause  made  the  Examination 
Hall  shake;  but  the  King  had  his  trumpets 
sounded  for  silence. 

"Half  the  problem  is  now  solved,"  he  pro- 
ceeded; "but  more  remains  behind.  We  have 
now  to  subtract  the  seventy-eight  noughts 
from  one  hundred  and  twenty  marks.  You 
may  make  your  calculations  on  the  blackboard, 
if  you  think  that  would  be  easier." 

But  Charles  declared  that  he  could  do  the 
second  problem  in  his  head,  as  he  had  done  the 
first. 

"Seventy-eight  noughts  are  nothing.  Sub- 
tract nothing  from  one  hundred  and  twenty, 
and  one  hundred  and  twenty  remains,"  he  said. 

"But — but — "  cried  De  Quincey,  "each  of 
these  noughts  signifies  a  bad  mark.  They  are 
not  really  noughts." 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       259 

"I  wonder  you  don't  say  they  are  crosses," 
said  the  King.  "And  if  they  are  not  noughts, 
what  are  they?" 

"In  my  mind  they  stood  for — "  began  De 
Quincey ;  but  the  King  was  quite  worn  out. 

He  stood  up — a  signal  that  the  Examination 
was  at  an  end. 

"  'Life  is  real,  life  is  earnest/  "  he  said,  "and 
we  cannot  go  into  the  question  of  why  a  nought 
isn't  a  nought  in  your  poetic  mind.  At  any 
rate,  as  the  King  of  a  great  kingdom,  I  must 
not  permit  myself  any  of  these  fanciful  dia- 
lects. Marsh  Galloper  has  got  one  hundred 
and  twenty  marks;  and,  as  the  minimum  was 
eighty,  he  has  passed.  He  is,  in  fact,  a  free 
Jacky  Toad.  Release  the  prisoner,  and  tell 
him  to  be  in  my  Audience  Chamber  at  five 
o'clock  to-morrow  morning,  to  kiss  hands  in 
token  of  forgiveness." 

Amid  a  great  hubbub  the  Galloper  joined  his 
friends,  and  departed  with  his  wife  on  his  arm. 
The  legions  of  the  Jacky  Toads  shouted  and 
screamed  with  delight,  and  Fire  Drake  ran  on 


260  THE  FLINT  HEART 

before  to  hang  up  a  few  flowers  and  bright 
leaves  about  the  hole  by  the  bog-bean,  so  that 
his  home  might  look  festive  and  cheerful  on 
his  return  to  it.  He  also  decorated  the  Gal- 
loper's favourite  perch  on  the  skull  of  the  old 
dead  horse. 

The  King  then  turned  to  Charles. 

"If  you  like  to  take  us  as  we  are,  without 
ceremony,"  he  said,  "Her  Majesty  and  I  shall 
be  delighted  to  entertain  you  at  dinner.  Just 
the  home  party  and  some  chamber  music  after- 
wards." 

But  Charles  felt  it  would  not  be  fair  to  Unity 
and  Bismarck  if  he  did  this.  He  explained  to 
the  King,  and  assured  him  that  the  others 
would  be  terribly  anxious  to  know  whether 
Marsh  Galloper  had  passed. 

"Of  course  they  will,"  admitted  the  King; 
"and  as  the  credit  is  theirs  also,  we  must  have 
you  all  to  visit  us  on  some  future  occasion. 
I  shall  not  forget.  You  may  expect  an  invita- 
tion in  a  week  or  ten  days.  And  I  shall  in  the 
meantime  consider  whether  some  little  appro- 


THE  JACKY  TOAD  FAILS       261 

priate  distinction  may  not  be  dispensed  to  all 
three  of  you.  Perhaps  the  fourth  or  fifth  class 
of  my  Royal  Titanian  Order  would  meet  the 
case." 

So  Charles,  with  many  thanks,  sped  off,  full 
of  his  great  news. 

But,  excited  though  he  was,  he  could  not  fail 
to  note  that  things  upon  the  Moor  and  in  the 
woodlands  were  not  as  usual.  Some  places 
appeared  to  be  entirely  deserted,  while  in  others 
the  beasts  had  gathered  together,  and  were 
evidently  holding  important  meetings  among 
themselves.  Many  were  talking,  and  many 
were  listening,  and  all  were  bothered  and 
worried. 

Charles  wondered  not  a  little  what  remark- 
able event  could  thus  upset  them;  and  not  the 
beasts  only,  but  the  birds  and  reptiles  and  even 
the  insects  also. 

He  thought  that  Ship  might  probably  know 
what  was  happening,  and  asked  him  as  quickly 
as  possible. 


CHAPTER  XIX 

MR.    MELES 

Needless  to  say  that  Unity  and  Bismarck 
were  deeply  delighted  at  the  triumph  of  Marsh 
Galloper.  Unity  did  not  quite  understand 
about  the  magnificence  of  the  fifth  class  of  the 
Titanian  Order,  but  she  was  very  pleased  at 
the  thought  of  visiting  Fairyland  again;  while 
as  for  the  bottle,  he  also  much  desired  to  go, 
for  a  practical  reason,  because  he  thought  that 
if  he  could  be  thoroughly  mended  all  over,  it 
would  be  much  more  useful  to  him  in  his  future 
career  than  any  kind  compliment  from  the 
King. 

So  they  waited  for  the  invitation  to  come; 
and  I'm  sorry  to  say  that  it  did  not.  There 
was  a  reason  for  this,  and,  strangely  enough, 
the  person  who  told  Charles  the  reason  was 
Ship.  They  could  understand  each  other  now 

262 


MR.  MELES  263 

since  they  had  been  in  Fairyland  together. 
You  will  remember  that  Charles  had  deter- 
mined to  inquire  of  Ship  why  all  the  beasts 
were  so  much  worried  and  why  they  were  col- 
lecting and  having  open-air  meetings  and  so 
forth.  Well,  he  did  inquire,  and  Ship  was 
able  to  explain. 

"There's  a  dickens  of  a  row  on,"  said  Ship 
in  his  rough-and-ready  dog  language.  "And 
it's  all  that  cross-patch  badger's  fault.  The 
badger  has  been  putting  on  a  terrible  deal  of 
side  lately  and  ordering  people  about,  and  in- 
sulting everybody,  and  making  the  woodpecker 
fly  on  errands  for  him,  and  eating  the  part- 
ridges' eggs,  and  commanding  the  fox  to  go 
and  live  farther  off,  and  standing  on  the  bank 
of  the  river  to  make  faces  at  the  salmon,  and 
frightening  the  young  rabbits,  and  bullying  the 
rooks,  and  growling  at  the  water-voles,  and 
goodness  knows  what  else  besides.  He's  bit- 
ten the  heron's  tail,  and  scratched  the  wild  cat 
all  over,  and  made  the  squirrel's  life  a  burden 
to  it;  while  as  for  the  mice  and  lizards  and 


264  THE  FLINT  HEART 

newts  and  such  small  things,  they  can't  dare 
to  breathe  the  same  air  with  the  badger  now. 
If  he  meets  them,  he  orders  them  off  and  sets 
his  children  at  them.  He  flies  at  everything 
as  if  he  was  mad.  He  says  he  will  be  obeyed, 
and  he  declares  that  the  whole  Moor  belongs 
to  him;  and  he's  making  the  creatures  all  be- 
lieve it." 

"It  sounds  to  me  terribly  as  if  he  had  found 
the  Flint  Heart,"  said  Charles. 

"That's  exactly  what  he  has  done,"  answered 
Ship.  "You  flung  it  into  the  wood,  and  he  was 
in  there  poking  about  after  pignuts,  and  came 
upon  it  and  took  it  home  to  amuse  the  chil- 
dren. But  he  very  soon  found  out  how  strong 
and  fierce  and  powerful  it  made  him.  And 
so  he  kept  it;  and  he's  getting  stronger  and 
fiercer  every  day ;  and  he'll  very  soon  be  master 
of  the  Moor  if  something  isn't  done." 

"Is  that  what  all  the  beasts  are  meeting 
for?"  asked  Charles. 

"Yes,"  answered  Ship.  "They  have  had 
fifty-seven  meetings  and  appointed  a  committee; 


MR.  MELES  265 

and  the  committee,  which  consisted  of  the  fox, 
the  pheasant,  the  owl,  the  grass-snake,  and  the 
cockchafer,  has  decided  on  a  deputation." 

"I  wonder  what  that  is  ?"  asked  Unity. 

"It  is  a  solemn  thing,"  explained  Bismarck. 
"It  consists  of  a  number  of  people  who  come  to 
some  great  person  to  tell  him  that  a  number 
of  other  people  want  something  very  much. 
And  he  listens  most  attentively  to  what  they 
say  and  promises  that  he  will  think  about  it 
seriously.  He  thanks  them  ever  so  much  for 
coming;  and  the  deputation  then  withdraws 
— and  that's  generally  all." 

"The  beasts  intend  to  have  a  deputation  al- 
most at  once,"  concluded  Ship. 

"What  great  man  are  they  going  to?"  asked 
Charles. 

"Not  a  great  man,"  answered  Ship.  "They 
are  going  to  the  King  of  the  Fairies ;  and  they 
have  given  him  notice  that  they  are  coming  on 
Thursday  fortnight.  And  the  Public  Hall  in 
Fairyland  is  being  got  ready  for  them." 

"That  will  be  such  a  tremendous  business 


266  THE  FLINT  HEART 

altogether,  that  no  doubt  the  King  can't  invite 
Unity  and  you  and  me  until  he's  seen  them  and 
got  it  off  his  mind,"  declared  Charles  to  Bis- 
marck. 

So  that  explained  the  situation,  and  I'm 
afraid  this  is  rather  a  short  and  uninteresting 
chapter ;  but  it  had  to  be  written  to  show  how 
things  were  with  the  creatures  of  the  Moor 
and  tell  you  that  the  badger,  from  being  an 
amiable  and  really  first-rate  beast,  had  ruined 
himself  by  picking  up  the  abominable  Flint 
Heart.  And  I  may  as  well  end  this  chapter, 
and  stretch  it  out  a  little,  by  explaining  who 
the  badger  was,  and  where  he  lived,  and  what 
were  his  habits  and  pleasures  and  ways  in  gen- 
eral. 

He  was  a  member  of  the  Plantigrade  Car- 
nivora;  and  if  you  want  to  know  what  that 
means,  it  is  quite  simple.  He  walked  flat  on 
the  soles  of  his  feet,  as  a  bear  walks,  and  he 
was  not  a  vegetarian.  In  his  palmy  days  he 
had  been  a  quiet  and  thoroughly  good  beast, 
who  never  wanted  to  lord  it  over  anybody, 


MR.  MELES  267 

and  enjoyed  life  in  a  peaceable  and  contented 
manner.  He  fed  on  roots,  beechnuts,  black- 
berries, and  occasional  beetles.  Sometimes 
he  fancied  a  frog  for  a  change,  and  when  he 
fancied  a  frog  he  caught  one  and  ate  it.  He 
came  of  a  fine  old  family,  and  his  ancestors  had 
flourished  among  the  very  oldest  mammals  still 
living  on  the  earth.  But,  until  he  found  the 
Flint  Heart,  he  never  boasted  about  his  race, 
but  kept  perfectly  quiet  and  modest  concerning 
it.  He  had,  however,  a  perfect  right  to  be 
proud;  and  none  of  you  who  read  this  story, 
even  though  your  ancestors  were  being  useful 
or  troublesome  here  before  William  the  Con- 
queror called,  has  anything  like  such  a  magnifi- 
cently long  descent  as  the  badger.  In  person 
he  was  blackish  and  greyish,  with  two  streaks 
of  whitey-yellow  along  each  of  his  cheeks. 
He  had  five  toes  on  each  foot,  and  at  the  ends 
of  them  were  very  powerful  claws.  He  also 
had  six  inches  of  tail  and  very  peculiar  and 
wonderful  jaws.  These  were  so  arranged  that 
if  he  didn't  want  to  let  go  of  a  thing  when  he 


268  THE  FLINT  HEART 

had  got  it  between  his  teeth,  he  needn't.  His 
eyes  were  small  and  set  in  a  black  streak  of 
hair  between  the  whitey-yellow  ones.  He  was 
a  modest  beast  until  the  Flint  Heart  spoiled 
him;  but  one  or  two  things  he  did  not  know, 
and  they  were  things  that  nobody  with  a  kind 
heart  or  delicate  feelings  could  have  told  him. 
For  instance,  he  did  not  know  that  his  hair  was 
used  for  shaving-brushes  and  that  his  hind- 
legs  were  sometimes  cured  and  turned  into 
hams  for  breakfast.  His  family  name  was 
Meles,  and  he  lived  in  a  fine  hole  on  Hartland 
Tor. 

All  had  gone  well  with  Mr.  Meles  until  he 
found  the  Flint  Heart;  but  now  he  wore  the 
charm  suspended  round  his  neck,  and  his  life, 
and  opinions  and  intentions  and  ideas  in  gen- 
eral were  terribly  changed. 

"I  shall  give  nobody  any  peace  until  I 
am  made  the  King  of  Beasts,"  he  told  his  wife 
and  children.  "And  I  shall  go  on  badgering 
everybody  until  they  come  and  crown  me  and 


MR.  MELES  269 

admit  that  I  am  the  most  important  of  all  crea- 
tures." 

Mrs.  Meles  sniffed. 

"My  own  impression  is  that  they  are  going 
to  do  it,"  continued  Mr.  Meles,  "for  I  see  them 
collecting  in  groups  and  having  large  meetings 
every  day.  I  expect  them  to  arrive  with  the 
crown  at  any  moment." 

Mrs.  Meles  sighed  behind  her  paw.  She 
was  feeling  just  as  Mrs.  Phutt  had  felt,  and  just 
as  Mrs.  Billy  Jago  had  felt,  and  just  as  Mrs. 
Marsh  Galloper  had  felt.  And  that  showed 
that  the  Flint  Heart  was  almost  worse  for  the 
wives  of  the  creatures  who  found  it  than  for 
the  unfortunate  things  themselves. 


CHAPTER  XX 

THE   DEPUTATION 

The  great  day  of  the  Deputation  arrived,  and 
it  was  the  largest  deputation  on  record.  As 
a  rule,  a  deputation  does  not  exceed  twenty 
or  so,  but  this  deputation  was  five  hundred 
beasts  strong  and  two  hundred  yards  long. 
They  marched  in  pairs,  just  as  they  went  into 
the  ark ;  but  the  processions  were  rather  differ- 
ent, because  everything  walked  into  the  ark 
(excepting  the  flea  and  his  friends,  who  rode 
in),  but  the  Deputation  only  consisted  of 
Dartmoor  beasts  and  creatures,  and  five  hun- 
dred of  these  included  examples  of  nearly  every- 
thing worth  mentioning. 

De  Quincey  kindly  dashed  off  a  marching 
1  song  for  the  Deputation ;  and  to  hear  them 
singing  it  with  one  voice  as  they  tramped  for- 
ward by  hill  and  dale,  through  streams  and  over 

270 


THE  DEPUTATION,  271 

the  tors,  would  have  been  a  great  adventure. 
As  for  the  song,  it  was  nothing  to  such  a 
poet  as  De  Quincey,  and  he  not  only  composed 
it,  but  also  invented  the  tune  one  morning  be- 
tween the  times  of  washing  his  face  and 
brushing  his  hair.  And  that,  as  you  know,  is 
really  no  time  at  all.  But  the  song  belongs  to 
this  story,  and  you  will  be  able  better  to  pic- 
ture the  great  procession  of  the  beasts  after 
you  have  read  it. 

The  Marching  Song, 
i. 

By  your  right,  quick  march,  O  creatures  all ! 

By  your  right,  go  marching  along, 
And  keep  in  time  to  the  thundering  rhyme 

Of  our  wonderful  marching  song — song — song, 
As  we  flutter,  and  we  waddle,  and  we  wriggle,  and 

we  waggle,  and  we  hop,  and  we  skip,  and  we 

glide, 
And  we  hurry,  and  we  skurry,  and  we  paddle,  and 

we  slither,  and  we  creep,  and  we  run,  and  we 

slide ! 
Rattle,  rattle,  rattle,  roll  the  kettles, 

And  bang,  wang,  bang!  roars  the  drum, 


272  THE  FLINT  HEART 

And  pom,  pom,  pom,  bray  the  trumpets  loud, 
As  through  the  Moor  we  come — come — come — 
come. 

Tootle,  tootle,  tootle,  shriek  the  flutes, 
And  bang,  wang,  bang!  roars  the  drum, 

And  clash,  clash,  clash,  do  the  cymbals  crash, 
As  through  the  Moor  we  come. 

ii. 

Steady,  beasts,  steady !     Don't  make  such  a  scrim- 
mage; 

Don't  make  such  a  scrimmage  and  row; 
We're  a  solemn  dep — u — ta — ti — on 

To  show  the  wide  world  how — how — how 
We  can  flutter,  and  waddle,  and  can  wriggle  and 
waggle,  and  can  hop,  and  can  skip,  and  can 
glide. 

And  can  hurry,  and  can  skurry,  and  can  paddle,  and 
can  slither,  and  can  creep,  and  can  run,  and 
can  slide. 
Rattle,  rattle,  rattle,  roll  the  kettles, 

And  bang,  wang,  bang!  roars  the  drum, 
And  pom,  pom,  pom,  bray  the  trumpets  loud, 
As  through  the  Moor  we  come — come — come— 

come. 

Tootle,  tootle,  tootle,  shriek  the  flutes, 
And  bang,  wang,  bang !  roars  the  drum, 


THE  DEPUTATION  273 

And  clash,  clash,  clash,  do  the  cymbals  crash. 
As  through  the  Moor  we  come. 

To  this  vigorous  song,  and  keeping  excellent 
time  considering  how  different  they  all  were, 
marched  the  five  hundred  upon  Fairyland. 
They  were  not  such  grand  and  important  ani- 
.  mals  as  lived  on  the  Moor  once,  in  the  days 
when  Phutt  and  the  New  Stoners  fired  their 
flint-headed  arrows  and  flung  their  flint-headed 
spears.  The  deer  were  gone  and  the  bears, 
and  the  wolves  had  also  retired  from  business. 
And  I  don't  fancy  such  fierce  and  powerful  peo- 
ple as  the  wolf  and  bear  would  have  stood  any 
nonsense  from  the  badger,  whether  he  had  the 
Flint  Heart  or  not. 

But  now  came  the  dusky  and  flapping  com- 
pany of  the  bats,  or  flitter-mice  as  I  prefer  to 
call  them.  There  were  the  Horse-shoe  flitter- 
mouse  and  the  Long-eared  flitter-mouse,  the 
rare  Barbastelle  flitter-mouse  (there  were  only 
three  of  them)  and  the  Noctule  or  Great  flitter- 
mouse — the  largest  of  them  all.  A  company 
of  common  everyday — or,  rather,  every  night 


274  THE  FLINT  HEART 

— sort  of  flitter-mice  concluded  this  part  of  the 
procession. 

Then  walked  six  hedgehogs  under  their  own 
banner  with  the  famous  hedgehog  motto  of 
"Prickly  Does  It." 

The  moles  came  next,  in  shining  velvet,  and 
the  shrews  followed  them — water-shrews  and 
land-shrews  both — singing  with  all  their  might 
and  lifting  up  their  little  sharp  noses  into  the 
air.  And  then  walked  about  twenty  fine  foxes 
— dogs  and  vixens — with  a  number  of  neat  lit- 
tle cubs  trotting  two  by  two  behind  them. 
There  were  some  grand  stout  foxes  here — reg- 
ular "Dartmoor  Greyhounds,"  as  sportsmen 
call  them.  Many  had  stood  before  hounds  and, 
in  their  cinnamon  coats  with  their  great  white- 
tipped  brushes  and  black  pads,  they  made  a 
splendid  sight.  Their  flags  bore  rather  com- 
monplace mottoes,  though  true  ones — namely, 
"It  is  better  to  hunt  than  be  hunted,"  and  "A 
goose  on  the  back  is  worth  two  in  the  river." 

The  rare  pine-marten  came  next,  and  beside 
him  walked  another  uncommon  person — the 


THE  DEPUTATION  275 

wild  cat,  still  lame  from  his  fight  with  the  bad- 
ger. And  each  was  the  last  of  his  kind ;  and  I 
am  sorry  to  say  they  have  both  gone  now. 

The  polecat  followed  just  behind  them,  and 
he  has  gone  now,  too.  Some  rather  unkind 
men  killed  him,  for  it  is  a  curious  thing  that 
the  rarer  a  creature  is  the  more  anxious  some 
sort  of  people  are  to  finish  him  off,  instead  of 
helping  him  along  his  lonely  road. 

The  stoats  and  the  weasels  walked  after — 
twenty-five  of  each.  They  didn't  care  a  but- 
ton for  the  badger,  but  they  joined  the  other 
beasts  out  of  friendship.  Their  motto  is  a  good 
one  for  everybody — namely,  "Keep  your  mouth 
shut  and  your  eyes  open."  And  if  the  lords  of 
creation  did  that,  the  world  would  be  quieter, 
and  a  great  deal  more  useful  work  might  be 
done  in  it. 

The  otters  rather  delayed  the  procession,  be- 
cause they  would  plump  into  every  pool  of  water 
that  they  passed  to  cool  themselves.  There 
were  a  dozen  of  them,  and  they  talked  among 
themselves  and  didn't  join  in  the  singing — not 


276  THE  FLINT  HEART 

because  they  couldn't,  but  because  they  were 
selfish  and  wouldn't.  Their  banner  bore  the 
greedy  words,  "Salmon  is  Cheap  To-day." 

The  squirrels  followed  after  the  otters. 
They  frisked  along  and  played  the  fool  and 
kept  losing  their  places  in  the  song  and  singing 
too  sharp.  Their  motto  had  been  taken  out  of 
an  old  copy  of  the  "Daily  Chronicle"  news- 
paper, left  by  a  tourist  on  the  Moor.  It  ran 
thus :  "Eat  nuts  and  live  for  ever !" 

Then  came  the  dormice  and  the  harvest-mice 
and  the  meadow-mice,  or  field-mice  as  they  are 
more  often  called,  and  then  marched  the  Nor- 
way rat,  and  the  rare  old  English  black  rat, 
and  the  field-vole  and  the  water-vole.  These 
creatures  numbered  fifty-eight  of  the  deputa- 
tion, and  they  all  hopped  along  together  and 
sang  vejy  fairly  well. 

The  last  of  the  quadrupeds,  or  four-footed 
people,  were  the  rabbits  and  hares,  who  com- 
pleted the  first  part  of  the  procession.  Their 
motto  is  not  generally  known,  and  they  in- 
vented it  themselves:  "Wear  fur  all  the  year 


THE  DEPUTATION  277 

round  and  laugh  at  the  doctor."  Which  is  a 
very  good  motto  for  them,  and  would  suit  me, 
too ;  but  you  might  not  like  it.  I  may  mention 
that  the  hares  walked  last.  That  was  the 
place  of  honour,  given  to  them  because  they 
were  game. 

Then  came  the  birds,  and  this  book  is  far 
too  short  even  to  tell  you  all  their  names;  but 
every  Dartmoor  bird  was  there,  and  with  their 
singing  and  hooting  and  croaking  and  boom- 
ing, and  chattering  and  cawing  and  twittering 
and  chuckling,  and  squeaking  and  mewing 
and  crowing  and  cooing,  and  gobbling  and 
clucking  and  chirruping  and  quacking  and 
cuckooing,  they  made  the  real  music  of  the 
procession.  The  first  idea  among  them  was 
that  they  should  walk  according  to  their  sizes, 
beginning  with  the  smallest  and  working  up 
to  the  biggest,  like  a  school  treat;  but  they 
decided  that  it  would  be  more  original  and 
scientific  to  march  according  to  their  families, 
as  arranged  by  learned  men.  So  the  thrushes 
and  the  missel-thrushes  and  the  redwings  and 


278  THE  FLINT  HEART 

fieldfares  and  blackbirds  and  ouzels  and 
wheatears  and  chats  and  robins  and  warblers 
and  golden-crested  wrens  and  chiffchaffs  and 
hedge-sparrows  and  such  like,  came  first;  and 
the  dippers  came  second,  all  alone;  and  the 
tits  and  hicky-noddies  came  third ;  and  the  wag- 
tails and  pipits  came  fourth ;  and  the  swal- 
lows and  martins  came  fifth;  and  the 
finches  and  bramblings  and  linnets  and  bunt- 
ings and  such  like,  came  sixth;  and  the  star- 
lings came  seventh;  and  the  jays  and  mag- 
pies and  jackdaws  and  carrion  crows  and 
ravens — who  are  all  no  better  than  they  ought 
to  be,  if  not  worse — came  eighth;  and  the 
larks  came  ninth;  and  the  swifts  came  tenth; 
and  the  woodpeckers  eleventh;  and  the  king- 
fishers twelfth;  and  the  owls  thirteenth;  and 
the  hawks — hobbies  and  kestrels  and  harriers 
and  buzzards  and  peregrines  and  such  like — 
fourteenth;  and  the  pigeons  fifteenth;  and  the 
curlews  and  plovers  and  dotterels  sixteenth; 
and  the  partridges  seventeenth ;  and  the  pheas- 
ants eighteenth ;  and  the  water-rails  and  land- 


THE  DEPUTATION  279 

rails  nineteenth ;  and  the  woodcocks  and  snipes 
and  sanderlings  and  sandpipers  came  twen- 
tieth; and  the  cuckoos  and  nightjars  and 
shrikes  and  nuthatches  and  herons  and  a 
hoopoe  (who  was  only  a  visitor,  but  joined  to 
see  the  fun),  and  many,  many  other  birds,  too 
numerous  to  mention,  brought  up  the  end  of 
this  part  of  the  procession. 

Next,  in  a  select  group  by  themselves,  fol- 
lowed the  reptiles — the  grass-snakes  and  the 
lizards  and  the  blindworms  and  the  toads  and 
the  frogs  and  the  efts,  whose  excellent  motto 
waved  above  them:  "Keep  cool  whatever  hap- 
pens." The  adder,  you  will  notice,  was  not 
there.  He  wanted  to  come,  but,  in  the  first 
place,  nobody  trusted  him;  and  in  the  second 
he  was  banished  out  of  Fairyland  for  ever  and 
a  day  for  reasons  we  need  not  go  into  here. 
The  "day"  had  long  since  passed,  but  the 
"ever"  was  still  going  on,  and  didn't  seem  in- 
clined to  finish.  So  the  adder  stopped  at  home 
and  said  that  he  was  on  the  badger's  side. 

A  few  of  the  more  important  insects  brought 


280  THE  FLINT  HEART 

up  the  end  of  the  procession;  and  the  dor- 
beetles  and  grasshoppers,  the  humble-bees  and 
the  busy  bees,  all  helped  largely  with  the  music 
of  the  march. 

Of  course,  the  fish  from  the  streams  couldn't 
go.  And  that  didn't  matter,  because  they 
were  not  much  interested.  It  is  true  the  bad- 
ger often  stood  on  the  banks  and  made  faces 
at  them;  but  neither  trout  nor  salmon  minded 
that  as  long  as  the  badger  kept  on  shore. 
Besides,  they  were  arranging  a  little  deputa- 
tion of  their  own  about  the  otters,  who  didn't 
keep  on  shore  by  any  means,  and  were  eating 
them  so  constantly  that  they  began  to  feel 
rather  anxious  and  worried. 

So  that  was  the  Deputation,  and  they 
marched  to  the  Pixies'  Holt  and  entered  in  and 
arranged  themselves  on  the  rows  of  numbered 
chairs  placed  ready  for  them  in  the  Public 
Hall. 

And  then  the  spokesmen  of  the  deputation 
came  to  the  front  and  stood  in  a  row — for,  of 
course,  the  whole  five  hundred  couldn't  speak. 


THE  DEPUTATION  281 

When  all  was  ready  the  trumpet  sounded,  and 
the  King  and  Queen  and  Royal  Family,  and 
the  Bodyguard  of  Jacky  Toads,  and  the 
great  Officers,  and  the  Master  of  the  Cere- 
monies, and  the  Gentlemen-in-Waiting,  and 
the  Ladies-in- Waiting  all  came  in  to  hear  what 
the  Deputation  had  got  to  say  for  itself. 


CHAPTER  XXI 
"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!" 

The  spokesmen  were  six  in  number,  and 
they  had  been  chosen  with  great  care,  because 
much  depended  upon  them  and  the  way  they 
put  the  case  to  the  King. 

They  chose  the  fox,  because  he  was  so 
clever. 

They  chose  the  hedgehog  for  his  common 
sense. 

They  chose  the  heron,  because  he  was  a 
great  speaker. 

They  chose  the  owl,  because  he  was  the  wis- 
est of  all  the  birds. 

They  chose  the  frog,  because  he  had  a  ter- 
rible private  grievance  against  the  badger. 

They  chose  the  dor-beetle,  because  he  was 
an  orphan. 

282 


91 

I 


The  spokesmen  for  the  deputation  were  six  in  number 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         283 

The  King  nodded  to  his  acquaintances 
among  the  creatures,  shook  hands  with  some 
personal  friends,  and  bowed  to  the  entire  as- 
sembly. Then,  having  an  excellent  memory 
for  faces  as  our  own  King,  he  noticed  that  an 
important  beast  was  missing. 

"Where's  the  badger?  Where  is  Mr. 
Meles  ?"  he  inquired. 

"Well  may  you  ask,  Your  Majesty,"  replied 
the  fox.  "Where,  indeed,  is  the  badger? 
It  is  on  the  very  subject  of  the  badger  that  we 
five  hundred  beasts,  birds,  reptiles,  and  insects 
have  come  before  you  in  a  solemn  deputation 
to-day." 

"Can  it  be  possible  that  he  has  annoyed  you 
all?"  asked  the  King. 

"Every  blessed  one  of  us,  Your  Majesty," 
replied  the  hedgehog. 

"How  extraordinary!"  said  the  King. 
"Why,  I  have  known  him  for  years,  and  a  bet- 
ter-tempered, better-hearted,  less  cranky  gen- 
tlemen I  never  wished  to  meet." 


284  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"He  has  sadly  changed,  Your  Majesty,"  re- 
plied the  heron.  "And  we  have  to  tell  a  dis- 
mal tale  of  his  downfall  and — " 

"But,  if  Your  Majesty  pleases,  you  had  bet- 
ter listen  to  the  Deputation,"  interrupted  the 
owl,  who  well  knew  what  a  terrible  talker  the 
heron  was  when  he  once  got  started. 

"Of  course,"  answered  the  King;  "that's 
what  I'm  here  for.  Now  begin." 

Thereupon  the  fox  stood  up,  arranged  his 
notes,  and  opened  the  proceedings. 

"The  badger,"  he  said,  "has  decided  to  be- 
come King  of  the  Moor,  and  we  have  decided 
that  he  shall  not  be  anything  of  the  sort.  He 
is  by  no  means  the  kind  of  person  to  turn  into 
a  king.  He  is  plain  and  ignorant.  He  is  nar- 
row-minded and  no  sportsman.  He  eats 
the  partridges*  eggs  and  uses  exceedingly 
common  language;  he  scratches  and  bites 
everybody,  and  behaves  in  a  most  unkingly 
manner.  Instead  of  being  king,  he  ought  to 
be  locked  up.  We  are,  in  fact,  sick  and  tired 
of  his  bluster  and  bullying  and  horrid  ways, 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         285 

and  feel  that  something  ought  to  be  done." 

Then  the  fox  sat  down  and  the  hedgehog 
stood  up  and  said  his  say: 

"As  a  practical  beast,  I  know  that  the  bad- 
ger is  doing  a  great  deal  of  harm  and  unset- 
tling the  young  people  and  filling  their  heads 
with  nonsense.  He  wants  them  all  to  make 
him  King,  and,  if  they  do,  he  has  promised 
to  divide  the  Moor  among  his  followers.  And 
as  it  isn't  his  to  divide,  but  belongs  to  the 
little  new  Prince  of  Wales  and  several  other 
important  human  beings,  I  object  to  this  ridic- 
ulous way  of  going  on  and  feel  that  something 
ought  to  be  done." 

Then  the  hedgehog  sat  down,  and  the  heron 
stood  up  and  said  his  say — and  a  very  long  say 
it  was: 

"As  representing  the  feathered  legions  of 
the  air,  I  have  to  announce  our  rooted  and 
fixed  determination  never,  under  any  sort  of 
temptation,  to  yield  our  allegiance  to  the 
badger.  We  owe  him  no  thanks,  we  are  not 
in  his  debt,  and  inasmuch  as  he  has  taken  to 


286  THE  FLINT  HEART 

eating  eggs  it  will  appear  to  all  beasts  and 
birds  assembled  that  the  feathered  legions  of 
the  air  cannot  be  expected  to  gaze  with  a 
kindly  eye  on  this  ill-favoured  and  nocturnal 
creature." 

Here  the  owl,  who  did  not  like  the  heron,  in- 
terrupted. 

"There  is  no  objection  to  his  being  noc- 
turnal; I  am  nocturnal  myself,"  he  said. 

The  heron  merely  looked  shocked  at  being 
interrupted.  Then  he  went  on  again: 

"The  question  appears  to  me,  and  to  the 
feathered  legions  of  the  air,  in  whose  interest 
I  now  appear,  to  lie  under  seventeen  heads  or 
divisions;  and  I  shall  proceed  to  examine  each 
of  them,  so  that  we  may  see  how  we  stand  and 
what  course  we  ought  to  pursue." 

"Pardon  me,"  said  the  King.  "It  would 
give  me  great  pleasure  to  hear  you  examine 
the  seventeen  heads  of  the  question,  but  there 
really  won't  be  time." 

The  heron  bowed  and  tried,  without  success, 
to  conceal  his  disappointment.  He  had  hoped 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         287 

to  make  a  great  impression;  but  the  worst  of 
him  was  that,  though  a  fine  talker,  he  always 
managed  to  be  so  deadly  dull.  Now  he  fin- 
ished his  speech,  but  dragged  it  out  as  long  as 
he  could: 

"In  that  case,  Your  Majesty,  I  will  content 
myself  with  saying  that  not  only  I,  but  those 
feathered  legions  of  the  air  which  I  have  the 
honour  to  represent  on  this  occasion,  feel  that 
something  ought  to  be  done." 

The  heron  sat  down  and  the  owl  stood  up 
and  said  his  say : 

"Something  must  be  done.  It  is  a  case  for 
deeds,  not  words." 

This  was  a  dig  at  the  heron,  and  the  King 
and  Queen  could  not  help  smiling  a  little. 
But  they  applauded  the  fine  brevity  of  the 
owl. 

The  owl  sat  down,  and  the  frog,  who  was 
terribly  anxious  to  be  heard,  said  his  say : 

"If  there  is  one  person  here  who  has  more 
right  than  another  to  speak,"  he  began,  "it  is 
me." 


288  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Grammar !"  whispered  the  lizard. 

"Hang  grammar!"  replied  the  frog. 
"There  are  things  that  lift  a  sensitive  person 
far  above  grammar,  and  this  is  one  of  them. 
In  a  word,  the  badger  has  eaten  both  my 
grandmothers!  My  paternal  grandmother 
was  snapped  up  on  Friday  fortnight;  and  my 
maternal  grandmother  followed  last  Tuesday. 
Life  is  a  farce;  liberty  a  byword;  peace  is 
a  dream,  while  the  badger  is  thus  allowed  to 
eat  just  whoever  he  likes.  Two  kinder, 
gentler,  harmlesser  old  ladies  never  had  long 
families.  And  now  they  are  gone.  They  have 
been  taken  from  us  by  this  abominable  mur- 
derer. We  shall  never  see  a  leg  of  them 
again.  Nor  is  it  any  argument  to  answer  that 
my  grandmothers  gave  the  wretch  indigestion. 
The  point  is  that  he  had  not  a  shadow  of  ex- 
cuse for  eating  either  of  them.  Nobody  is 
safe ;  death  is  let  loose  among  us,  and  who  can 
tell  whose  turn  it  may  be  next?  In  a  word, 
something  ought  to  be  done ;  and  if  nobody  else 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         289 

will  do  anything,  then  I  will  risk  following 
my  grandmothers  and  tackle  the  badger  my- 
self!" 

Which  shows  how  much  better  people  can 
speak  if  they  are  really  interested  in  a  subject 
than  if  they  are  merely  keeping  up  their  repu- 
tation for  talk  and  haven't  got  their  hearts  in 
what  they  are  saying. 

All  cheered  the  frog  for  his  fine  fighting 
speech,  and  there  was  not  a  dry  eye  among  the 
reptiles  when  he  sat  down  again. 

After  him  the  beetle  seemed  very  tame.  He 
mumbled  something  about  being  an  orphan, 
and  about  having  had  to  fly  for  his  life  from 
the  badger  on  several  occasions;  but  nobody 
paid  much  attention  to  him,  for  the  Deputa- 
tion wanted  to  hear  what  the  King  would  say, 
and  still  more  to  know  what  he  would  do. 

'There  is  little  doubt — "  began  the  King; 
then  a  curious  noise  at  the  main  entrance 
caused  him  to  break  off  and  listen. 

"There  is  little  doubt — "  he  repeated;  and 


290  THE  FLINT  HEART 

then  the  noise  at  the  door  increased.  It  was 
not  often  that  people  dared  to  make  a  noise 
when  the  King  spoke,  and  he  was  naturally 
somewhat  annoyed  about  it. 

"There  is  little  doubt — "  he  said  for  the 
third  time;  and  then  a  regular  din  and  hub- 
bub quite  silenced  him.  Several  official  fairies 
rushed  to  still  the  clamour. 

"There  is  little  doubt — "  resumed  the  King; 
but  now  his  speech  ended  altogether,  for  there 
was  a  violent  rush  from  the  entrance,  the 
Jacky  Toad  guards  were  sent  flying  in  every 
direction,  and  who  should  appear,  in  all  his 
best  clothes,  but  the  badger  himself! 

"It's  beastly  of  you  all — simply  beastly!" 
he  cried  out.  "And  I  won't  have  it!" 

He  wore  a  tweed  suit  and  a  round  bowler 
hat  and  a  loud  green  and  red  tie.  The  Flint 
Heart  dangled  about  his  neck,  as  though  it 
were  an  eyeglass.  He  carried  an  umbrella, 
and  he  waved  it  over  his  head  in  a  very  violent 
and  impertinent  manner. 

"Take  your  hat  off!"  said  the  King.     "How 


Take  your  hat  off!"  said  the  King 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         291 

dare  you  make  this  vulgar  noise  when  I'm 
speaking?" 

"I  didn't  know  you  were  speaking,"  an- 
swered the  badger;  "and  I  shall  not  take  my 
hat  off." 

"Why?"  asked  the  King. 

"For  the  simple  reason  that  I  am  a  king 
myself/'  replied  the  badger.  "One  king 
doesn't  take  off  his  hat  in  the  presence  of  an- 
other. We're  equals." 

"My  dear  Meles,"  replied  the  King.  "You 
must  be  mad.  How  can  a  simple  commoner 
suddenly  blossom  out  into  a  King?" 

"He  can,  when  he's  clever  enough,"  re- 
plied the  badger.  "If  you  knew  history — 
which  you  evidently  don't — you'd  jolly  soon 
see  that  all  sorts  of  people  have  become  kings. 
You've  only  got  to  be  man  enough.  What 
about  Napoleon?" 

"Remove  his  hat,"  said  the  King  quietly, 
"and  then  I'll  sentence  him.  This  is  no  case 
for  argument  or  conversation.  A  pretty  king 
he  would  make !" 


292  THE  FLINT  HEART 

So  a  regiment  of  Jacky  Toads  rushed  for- 
ward and  surrounded  the  badger  and  knocked 
his  hat  off  and  took  his  umbrella  away;  and 
all  the  beasts  shouted  with  indignation  at  him. 
Then  some  aged  and  learned  fairies  whispered 
to  the  King  that  he  must  give  even  a  rude  and 
blustering  creature  like  the  badger  fair  play 
before  he  sentenced  him ;  and  the  King  assured 
them  that  they  need  not  fear  he  would  forget 
his  dignity.  He  then  addressed  the  badger  in 
these  kingly  words: 

"I  have  no  wish  to  be  unreasonable  or  ex- 
ercise my  power  in  an  unkind  manner.  I  will 
content  myself  with  explaining  to  you  that  you 
are  wrong.  Before  anybody  can  become  king 
over  anybody  else,  one  of  two  things  must  hap- 
pen. The  person  must  either  be  the  proper 
King  and  follow  some  other  member  of  a 
royal  family  to  the  throne  in  the  ordinary  way, 
or  he  must  prove  himself  so  brave  and  clever 
and  wonderful  and  powerful  that  the  people 
with  one  voice  proclaim  him  King  and  invite 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         293 

him  to  put  on  the  crown,  and  even  insist  upon 
his  doing  so.  Well,  the  other  beasts  have  not 
the  slightest  wish  to  make  you  their  King. 
They  wouldn't  have  you  for  the  world.  They 
used  to  like  you — as  I  did  myself — but  now 
they  do  not.  In  fact,  they  dislike  you  very 
much ;  and  it  is  all  your  own  fault,  because,  to 
tell  you  the  honest  truth,  you  are  not  really 
brave  or  clever  or  wonderful  or  powerful. 
You  are  merely  a  very  badly  behaved  and 
ignorant  badger,  who  has  forgotten  himself 
and  his  position,  given  a  great  deal  of  unnec- 
essary trouble,  and  done  a  great  many  very 
wrong  and  foolish  things." 

"Oh,  shut  up!"  said  the  badger,  and  the 
King  was  so  much  astonished  that  he  nearly 
fell  off  his  throne.  But  he  kept  his  temper 
even  under  this  great  insult. 

"It  is  you  who  will  be  shut  up,"  he  answered. 
"In  fact,  worse  than  that  must  happen  to  you. 
To  interrupt  the  King  is — well — really  I  don't 
know  what  it  is." 


294  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Then  he  turned  to  his  Lord  Chief  Justice  and 
told  him  to  look  into  the  matter  and  see  what 
must  be  done. 

The  Lord  Chief  Justice  wetted  his  thumb, 
for  he  was  a  self-made  fairy,  and  turned  over 
the  pages  of  the  Law. 

Then  he  said  a  terrible  thing: 

"The  sentence  of  the  High  Court  is  that  any- 
body interrupting  the  Monarch  shall  be 
hanged,  drawn,  and  quartered." 

"There  now!"  exclaimed  the  King,  turning 
to  the  badger.  "You  see  what  you  have  done. 
You  will  be  hanged,  drawn,  and  quartered  on 
the  afternoon  of  Wednesday  next.  Now 
kindly  go  home,  and  let  us  hear  no  more  of  you 
until  the  time  comes  for  the  punishment. 
Then  I  shall  expect  you  to  be  here  punctually 
at  half-past  four  for  the  hanging,  drawing, 
and  quartering.  Be  punctual,  Meles,  I  say,  or 
even  worse  things  may  happen  to  you." 

At  this  awful  moment  there  was  another 
scene  near  the  door,  and,  before  anybody  could 
stop  her,  Mrs.  Meles,  with  her  four  children, 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         295 

rushed  in.  They  hastened  to  the  steps  of  the 
throne  and  knelt  down  in  a  row.  After  which 
Mrs.  Meles  began  to  talk. 

It  was  difficult  to  understand  what  she  said, 
because  she  talked  so  fast ;  and  in  any  case  she 
had,  of  course,  come  too  late  to  save  her  hus- 
band. 

Then  everybody  else  began  talking  also ;  and 
some  people,  but  only  six,  thought  the  sen- 
tence was  rather  too  severe,  and  everybody 
else  thought  it  was  quite  satisfactory,  and,  if 
anything,  rather  light. 

Fortunately  for  the  bad  badger  one  of  the 
six  on  his  side  happened  to  be  very  powerful. 
Of  course,  the  other  five  wouldn't  have 
counted,  because  they  were  his  own  wife  and 
children.  But  the  sixth  was  the  Queen  her- 
self, so  that  made  the  matter  a  good  deal  more 
hopeful  for  him.  However,  against  the  Queen 
and  the  family  of  the  badger  were  the  five  hun- 
dred beasts,  birds,  and  reptiles,  and  the  Jacky 
Toads,  and  the  fairies  in  general,  so  the  King 
found  himself  faced  with  one  of  the  most  dif- 


296  THE  FLINT  HEART 

ficult  problems  that  he  had  been  called  upon  to 
tackle  for  a  very  long  time. 

But  he  was  equal  to  it. 

After  five  minutes'  deep  thought,  during 
which  all  the  company  kept  silence,  except  the 
wicked  badger  himself,  who  whistled  a  stupid 
tune  as  loud  as  he  could  and  stamped  his  feet 
and  rattled  his  claws  and  pretended  he  didn't 
care  a  brass  farthing  for  anybody,  the  King 
gave  an  order. 

"Send  for  Charles!"  he  said  in  a  clear  and 
royal  voice. 

So  they  sent  for  Charles;  and  this  saying 
of  the  King's  became  a  sort  of  sly  joke  in 
Fairyland  ever  afterwards.  If  anybody  upset 
a  cup  of  tea,  or  broke  his  shoe-lace,  or  cut  his 
finger,  or  lost  a  button,  or  overslept  himself, 
or  forgot  a  message,  or  took  the  wrong  um- 
brella, or  had  neuralgia,  or  even  hiccoughed, 
somebody  always  said,  "Send  for  Charles!" 
But  they  took  very  good  care  that  the  King 
never  heard  about  it,  because  the  only  gift  of 
real  importance  this  good  and  wise  King  lacked 


"SEND  FOR  CHARLES!"         297 

was  the  power  of  seeing  a  joke.  And  when 
the  King  happens  to  be  a  sort  of  king  who  has 
not  got  a  fine  and  large  knack  of  seeing  what  a 
comical  thing  it  is  to  be  a  king  and,  indeed, 
what  a  screamingly  funny  thing  it  is  to  be  alive 
at  all,  then  his  people  must  be  more  careful 
than  usual,  and  not  only  mind  their  P's  and 
Q's,  but  all  the  other  letters  of  the  alphabet  as 
well. 


CHAPTER  XXII 

THE   SENTENCE 

While  it  occupied  exactly  no  time  for  a  fairy 
messenger  to  reach  the  ear  of  Charles  and  in- 
form him  that  the  King  of  Fairyland  wanted 
him  immediately,  yet  Charles,  on  his  side,  al- 
beit he  made  the  greatest  haste,  took  half  an 
hour  to  reach  Pixies'  Holt.  But  the  time  was 
passed  quite  pleasantly,  for,  at  the  King's  di- 
rection, light  refreshments  were  served  to  the 
entire  company — excepting,  of  course,  the 
badger,  who  had  nothing.  In  addition  to  this 
piece  of  kindness,  the  Queen  gave  out  that  she 
was  prepared  to  offer  a  prize  of  a  thousand 
a  year,  and  a  mansion,  and  a  ten-mouse-power 
motor-car,  for  the  best  Limerick  on  the  badger. 

She  kindly  consented  to  judge  the  competition 
herself,  so  papers  and  pencils  were  handed 

298 


THE  SENTENCE  299 

round,  and  the  fun  began.  Everybody  thought 
the  owl  would  win;  but  he  didn't,  and,  as  a 
matter  of  fact,  he  was  not  in  the  first  three. 
Limericks  were  little  in  the  owl's  line,  because 
his  mind  was  too  solemn. 

The  slow-worm,  of  all  people,  won ;  and  that 
is  the  reason  why,  when  you  happen  to  see  a 
slow-worm,  he  is  always  sleek  and  shining  and 
prosperous.  So  he  ought  to  be,  with  a  thou- 
sand a  year  and  a  mansion,  and  a  ten-mouse- 
power  motor-car  in  the  garage. 

His  Limerick  was  pretty  good,  though  each 
one  of  the  other  competitors  thought  his  own 
much  better. 

It  ran  as  follows : 

The  badger  is  very  ill  bred, 

For  he  stood  on  his  hind-legs  and  said 

He'd  be  king  of  the  lot. 

Now  he  finds  that  he's  got 
To  be  hung,  drawn,  and  quartered  instead. 

The  meadow-mouse  came  in  second;  but 
there  was  no  second  prize,  so  he  only  won  the 
honor.  However,  he  would  be  much  pleased 


300  THE  FLINT  HEART 

to  think  I  had  mentioned  his  Limerick  in  this 
story,  so  I  will  set  it  down: 

The  badger  would  keep  on  his  hat 

Till  the  Jacky  Toads  squashed  it  quite  flat ; 

But  now,  it  is  said, 

He  won't  keep  on  his  head; 
So  he  can't  get  much  change  out  of  that. 

When  Charles  arrived,  the  King  put  the 
case  before  him.  I  need  not  repeat  His  Maj- 
esty's remarks,  because  you  know  them 
already  The  question  for  Charles  to  decide 
was  whether  the  badger  should  or  should  not 
be  hung,  drawn,  and  quartered.  The  badger 
was  still  in  a  rude,  boisterous  frame  of  mind, 
and  pretended  he  did  not  care.  He  had  actu- 
ally entered  for  the  Limerick  competition  him- 
self ;  but  when  the  Queen  read  his  attempt,  she 
smiled  to  herself  and  tactfully  tore  it  up ;  so  it 
was  lost. 

"Well,  Your  Majesty,"  answered  Charles, 
after  considering  the  question  carefully,  "of 
course  you  know  best,  and  I  can  see  clearly  that 
the  badger  has  sadly  changed,  and  he  deserves 


THE  SENTENCE  301 

a  very  serious  punishment;  but,  if  it  was  me, 
I  should  only  carry  out  part  of  the  sentence." 

"Which  part  ?"  inquired  the  King.    ' 

"I  should  not  hang  him,"  replied  Charles. 

"Why  not?"  asked  the  King. 

"Because  it  would  spoil  his  usefulness/'  said 
Charles,  "and  never  give  him  a  chance  to  turn 
over  a  new  leaf." 

"True,"  said  the  King. 

"And  I  should  not  quarter  him  for  the  same 
reason,"  continued  Charles ;  "but  I  should  cer- 
tainly draw  him;  because  a  badger  can  be 
drawn,  and  it  often  does  him  good  and  teaches 
him  that  he  is  not  everybody." 

"Capital  advice,"  said  the  King.  "He  shall 
be  drawn,  and  Charles  shall  draw  him." 

But  Charles,  with  great  politeness,  explained 
that  it  is  not  boys'  work,  but  dogs'  work  to 
draw  a  badger. 

"I  have  a  friend  called  Ship,  Your  Majesty. 
He  was  at  the  splendid  party  you  gave  to  Mr. 
Zagabog  Well,  he  couldn't  draw  the  badger 
himself,  because  it  is  not  his  business;  but  he 


302  THE  FLINT  HEART 

has  two  friends,  called  Flip  and  Chum.  They 
are  fox-terriers,  Your  Majesty,  and  they  can 
both  draw  badgers.  In  fact,  they  are  famous 
at  it." 

"Very  good,"  said  the  King.  "Let  it  be 
done.  I  can  leave  the  matter  with  confidence 
in  your  hands." 

Then  he  turned  to  the  assembled  beasts : 

"The  Deputation  will  be  glad  to  hear  that 
Charles  and  his  friends  Flip  and  Chum  will 
draw  the  badger  on  Thursday  next,  at  three- 
thirty  of  the  clock.  And  now,  my  dear  crea- 
tures, I  have  the  honour  to  wish  you  all  a  very 
good  evening!" 

The  King  and  Queen  retired,  and  Charles 
spoke  to  the  badger. 

"I  want  your  address,  if  you  please,"  he  said 
firmly. 

"Will  you  have  it  now,  or  wait  till  you  get 
it?"  asked  the  badger  in  his  rude  and  vulgar 
way. 

"I'll  have  it  now,"  answered  Charles. 
Then  he  added:  "I  know  quite  well  what's 


THE  SENTENCE  303 

the  matter  with  you,  badger,  and  I'm  very 
sorry  for  you.  And  the  quicker  you  let  my 
friends  draw  you  and  get  that  hateful  Flint 
Heart  away  from  you,  the  better  you'll  feel." 

"Never,"  said  the  badger ;  "the  beast  or  boy 
who  tries  to  take  it  from  me  shall  feel  my 
teeth  and  claws  first.     I'll  tear  him  to  pieces !" 
He  refused  to  give  up  his  direction ;  but  that 
didn't  matter  in  the  least,  because  the  Deputa- 
tion knew  it  perfectly  well,  and  it  was : 
"The  Badgeries, 

Furzebank, 
Granite  Glitters, 

Bellavista, 
Hartland  Tor, 

Dartmoor." 

Then  the  most  successful  Deputation  on  rec- 
ord went  home,  and  Charles  told  Unity  and 
Bismarck  and  Ship;  and  Ship  went  that  same 
evening  to  see  Flip  and  Chum  and  explain  to 
them  that  they  must  be  ready  to  draw  a  badger 
on  the  afternoon  of  Thursday  next. 


304  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Flip  was  a  neat  and  shapely  lady  terrier, 
with  a  few  black  patches  about  her  and  a  little 
tan  on  her  cheeks  and  over  her  eyes.  No 
braver  dog  ever  lived  on  Dartmoor,  and  when 
she  heard  the  badger  must  be  drawn  she  felt 
delighted. 

"That's  work  worth  doing,"  she  said.  "I'm 
simply  sick  and  tired  of  killing  rats;  but  a 
badger  always  means  a  fight." 

Chum  was  a  bigger  dog — white  all  over,  with 
a  long,  black,  pointed  nose,  like  a  polar  bear's. 
He  was  rather  stout  for  active  work,  being 
self-indulgent  in  the  matter  of  marrow-bones, 
though  a  grand  dog  in  every  other  way. 

"I  shall  have  to  go  into  training,"  he  said, 
"or  I  shall  be  too  fat  to  get  into  the  badger's 
earth." 

Then  Flip  and  Chum  went  off  together  to 
plan  the  work,  and  they  arranged  rather  a  try- 
ing time  for  the  badger. 

As  for  the  badger  himself,  he  was  not  idle 
either.  He  prepared  to  make  a  terrible  fight 
of  it,  and  declared  that  the  fox-terrier  who 


THE  SENTENCE  305 

could  draw  him  wasn't  to  be  found  in  the 
world.  So  it  promised  to  be  a  pretty  tough 
battle;  and  when  the  great  afternoon  arrived, 
hundreds  of  beasts  were  already  on  the  scene 
to  see  what  should  happen.  They  sat  round 
in  rings,  as  though  it  were  a  circus,  and  when 
Charles,  Unity,  Ship,  Flip,  and  Chum  ap- 
peared on  the  stroke  of  half-past  three,  all  the 
beasts  stood  up,  gave  them  three  cheers,  and 
wished  them  luck. 

I  may  mention  that  Bismarck  did  not  come. 
He  had  developed  another  nasty  weakness  in 
his  left  side,  and  was  feeling  sad  and  down- 
hearted about  things  in  general.  He  had  been 
hoping  and  hoping  and  hoping  for  the  invita- 
tion to  reach  him  from  Fairyland,  and  it  had 
not  done  so.  He  feared,  therefore,  that  it  was 
forgotten,  and  that  the  King  would  no  more 
remember  all  that  he  had  done  and  suffered  in 
the  matter  of  Marsh  Galloper.  But,  of  course, 
he  was  quite  wrong.  The  King  had  not  for- 
gotten. He  merely  happened  to  be  unusually 
busy  for  the  moment. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

THE    FIGHT 

The  badger  felt  perfectly  certain  in  his  own 
mind  that  neither  Flip,  nor  Chum,  nor  fifty 
such  dogs  would  draw  him;  but  he  knew  that 
there  must  be  big  fighting,  so  he  sent  his  wife 
and  family  to  her  mother  on  the  other  side  of 
the  Moor,  and  told  them  not  to  come  home  till 
the  evening.  Mrs.  Meles  wanted  to  stop  and 
help;  but  he  refused  to  hear  of  it.  He  said 
that  it  would  not  be  ladies'  work,  which  was 
true ;  and  he  also  said  that  he  should  undoubt- 
edly kill  both  of  the  dogs  when  they  came  to 
draw  him,  which  remained  to  be  proved. 

He  settled  himself  at  the  very  end  of  his 
earth,  with  the  Flint  Heart  firmly  tied  round 
his  neck;  and  in  the  darkness  his  eyes  glim- 
mered green,  like  two  fairy  railway-signals. 
His  claws  had  been  specially  sharpened  for  the 

306 


THE  FIGHT  307 

occasion,  but  his  teeth  needed  no  particular 
preparation,  because  they  were  always  sharp. 
And  then  came  a  great  yelping  and  snuffling 
from  the  outside,  and  the  dim  light  of  the  earth 
was  darkened,  and  something  began  to  scram- 
ble nearer  and  nearer.  It  was  the  valiant 
Flip,  and  her  eyes  shone  red.  She  went 
through  the  hall,  and  the  dining-room,  and  the 
drawing-room,  and  the  nursery,  and  finally 
came  face  to  face  with  the  master  of  the  house 
in  his  study. 

"You  insolent  scoundrel !"  began  Mr.  Meles. 
"How  dare  you — I  say  how  dare  you  come 
into  my  house  and  trample  about  with  your 
filthy  paws,  as  if  the  place  belonged  to  you? 
Be  off,  or  I'll  tear  you  to  ribbons!" 

But  Flip  had  not  come  to  talk.  She  meant 
business.  Behind  her,  in  the  hall,  Chum  was 
waiting.  Unfortunately,  despite  his  training, 
he  was  too  stout  to  get  farther  into  the  badger's 
house ;  therefore  Flip  had  to  get  Mr.  Meles  all 
that  distance  single-handed — if  possible.  In 
a  moment  she  saw  the  great  size  and  fierceness 


308  THE  FLINT  HEART 

of  the  badger,  and  knew  that  it  would  be  a 
heavy  task,  and  understood  that  she  must  ex- 
pect a  few  pretty  deep  bites  and  scratches,  even 
if  she  escaped  with  her  life.  So,  very  wisely, 
she  wasted  not  a  moment  in  conversation;  but 
just  gave  one  tremendous  growl  by  way  of  a 
battle-cry,  and  then  dashed  at  the  badger  and 
set  to  work  to  grip  hold  of  him  and  lug  him 
out. 

The  audience  heard  a  dull  and  muffled  com- 
motion underground;  and  Chum  kept  up  fran- 
tic barks  of  encouragement  to  Flip;  and  Ship, 
who  had  to  stop  outside  altogether,  with  half 
a  dozen  other  big  dogs,  also  barked  and 
showed  the  wildest  excitement  and  interest. 
But  the  struggle  was  so  long  that  Charles  and 
many  of  the  beasts  began  to  grow  seriously 
alarmed.  Because,  if  Flip  and  Chum  between 
them  couldn't  draw  the  badger,  what  would 
happen  next  ? 

The  fight  was  really  dreadful.  The  badger 
tore  and  scratched  and  clawed  and  snapped 
and  tugged;  Flip  bit  and  worried  and  gripped 


THE  FIGHT  309 

and  snarled  and  pulled.  Fur  flew  off  both 
creatures,  and  both  were  nearly  choked  in  the 
fury  of  the  battle.  Now  Flip  dragged  Mr. 
Meles  into  the  drawing-room;  now  Mr.  Meles 
made  a  tremendous  effort,  and  got  back  to  his 
study  again.  The  ceiling  came  down  pres- 
ently and  nearly  smothered  them  both;  but  it 
forced  them  out  of  the  study  once  for  all,  and 
that  was  so  much  ground  gained  for  Flip. 
Poor  Mrs.  Meles  would  have  cried  to  see  her 
little  drawing-room  after  the  fight  had  raged 
there  for  five  minutes  more. 

And  still  the  battle  went  on,  and  Flip  was 
growing  weak  from  loss  of  blood,  and  the 
badger  found  himself  rather  feeble  too.  But 
I  don't  think  he  would  have  been  beaten  save 
for  his  enemy's  cleverness.  Now  Flip,  in  a 
very  artful  manner,  pretended  that  she  had  had 
enough  of  it,  and  everybody  outside  began 
greatly  to  fear  for  her,  because  she  set  up  a 
fearful  yelping  and  a  howling  as  if  the  badger 
was  eating  her  alive.  But  really  this  was  a 
trap ;  and  when  Flip  started  to  crawl  away,  as 


310  THE  FLINT  HEART 

though  trying  to  escape,  the  badger,  proud  of 
his  great  victory,  followed  her  to  the  hall, 
intending  to  give  the  defeated  enemy  a  parting 
bite  on  the  nose.  Instead,  however,  he  got  a 
bite  himself;  and  it  was  not  the  sort  of  bite  to 
do  you  much  good  at  the  end  of  a  long  and 
fierce  battle.  Before  Mr.  Meles  could  get  back 
to  the  drawing-room  he  had  run  against  Chum, 
and,  in  a  second,  Chum's  powerful  jaws  had 
closed  like  a  rat-trap  on  the  badger's  right  ear. 
Then  Flip,  who  knew  exactly  what  would  hap- 
pen, got  a  good  firm  hold  of  the  badger's  left 
ear,  and  before  he  had  time  to  say  "Jack  Rob- 
inson!" he  was  trundled  out  of  his  house — 
tail  over  head,  upside  down,  and  nearly  inside 
out  as  well.  And  when  he  arrived  in  the  open 
air,  the  poor  fellow  looked  a  good  deal  more 
like  an  old  worn-out  doormat  than  the  great 
and  important  Mr.  Meles. 

The  beasts  rushed  yelling,  and  flew  scream- 
ing to  the  spot,  and  it  was  all  that  Charles 
could  do  to  stay  them.  But  Ship  and  the  big 
dogs  acted  as  policemen  and  kept  them  off, 


THE  FIGHT  311 

while  Charles  did  what  he  could  for  the  com- 
batants. First  he  looked  after  Flip,  who  was 
in  rather  a  bad  way  and  very  weak,  and  so 
beaten  and  exhausted  that  she  rolled  over  on 
her  side  and  could  not  move  for  half  an  hour. 
But  the  badger  was  even  worse;  in  fact,  he 
fainted  as  soon  as  Flip  and  Chum  let  go  of 
him.  Then  Charles  did  two  things,  both  of 
which  showed  that  he  had  brains  in  his  head 
and  knew  how  to  use  them.  First  he  sent  the 
wood-pigeon  for  Mrs.  Meles,  because  he 
thought  that  if  the  badger  was  going  to  die  she 
ought  to  be  there  to  say  "good-bye"  to  him; 
and  next  he  took  his  knife  and  cut  the  string 
and  removed  the  Flint  Heart  from  the  badger's 
neck. 

He  then  addressed  the  beasts,  and  assured 
them  that  the  badger  was  cured,  and  that  if  he 
lived,  he  would  never  want  to  be  King  again; 
and  he  told  Ship  to  look  after  Flip ;  and  he  di- 
rected Unity  to  tell  Flip's  master  that  the  brave 
little  dog  was  to  be  fed  on  beefsteaks  for  a 
month,  in  order  to  restore  her  strength.  And 


312  THE  FLINT  HEART 

then  Charles  knowing  only  too  well  that  the 
hateful  Heart  was  beginning  to  do  its  work,  set 
off  to  run  as  fast  as  his  legs  would  carry  him  to 
the  Pixies'  Holt.  For  he  determined  to  make 
no  more  trouble  with  the  abominable  charm, 
but  hand  it  over  to  the  fairies  once  and  for 
all. 

After  he  had  gone  the  badger  began  to  feel 
better.  He  opened  his  eyes  feebly  and  said : 

"What's  happened?  Where's  my  dear 
wife?" 

And  they  told  him  that  she  had  been  sent  for 
and  that  he  had  better  not  talk,  but  lie  quiet. 
They  brought  him  water  in  a  dock-leaf,  and 
he  drank,  and  sat  up  and  sighed  four  times, 
and  felt  himself  all  over ;  then  he  tried  to  wash 
his  face,  and  began  combing  his  whiskers 
feebly. 

He  appeared  to  be  in  a  dream,  and  appar- 
ently had  not  the  faintest  idea  of  the  things  that 
were  going  on. 

"What  has  occurred?"  he  asked  presently. 
"Who's  been  treating  me  like  this?" 


THE  FIGHT  313 

"You've  been  drawn,"  explained  Chum. 
"My  friend  Flip  has  just  drawn  you — with  a 
little  help  from  me." 

"But  why?"  asked  Mr.  Meles;  "what  on 
earth  have  I  done  to  be  drawn?  A  badger's 
holt  is  his  castle.  You  were  quite  out  of  order 
to  do  it." 

"You  had  to  be  drawn,"  explained  a  par- 
tridge. "It  was  your  punishment.  You've 
been  behaving  horribly,  bullying  everyone 
you've  met,  and  you  know  it.  Didn't  you  eat 
my  eggs?" 

"Eat  your  eggs !  Good  gracious,  no !"  cried 
the  badger. 

"Didn't  you  send  me  on  your  errands?" 
asked  the  woodpecker. 

"Never!  I  go  my  own  errands — such  as 
they  are." 

"Didn't  you  tell  me  to  live  farther  off?"  in- 
quired the  fox. 

"Good  powers!  No,  of  course  not.  I  was 
only  too  proud  to  be  allowed  to  reside  in  the 
same  terrace  with  you!" 


3 14  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"Didn't  you  say  that  you  meant  to  be  King 
of  us  all?''  asked  the  fox  again. 

"King — King — me  King!"  stuttered  the 
badger;  and,  weak  and  shattered  though  he 
was,  the  idea  evidently  struck  him  as  so  wildly 
absurd  that  he  laughed  till  he  cried;  and  the 
tears  made  his  bitten  face  smart  most  pain- 
fully. 

They  calmed  him  down  so  that  he  felt  dis- 
tinctly better  before  his  wife  returned.  And 
really  little  more  could  be  said  against  him, 
for  it  was  clear  that  he  did  not  realise  in  the 
least  what  a  dreadful  show  he  had  been  mak- 
ing of  himself. 

And  when  he  was  recovered,  he  insisted  on 
going  round  to  all  the  beasts,  birds,  reptiles, 
and  insects,  and  apologising  to  every  one  of 
them  personally;  and  he  sent  a  letter  of  con- 
trition to  the  trout  and  salmon  also.  He  could 
do  no  more  than  that,  and  of  course  everybody 
forgave  him — except  the  frog,  who,  I  am  sorry 
to  say,  never  would,  and  quite  forgot  his  own 
motto  of  "Keep  cool  whatever  happens." 


THE  FIGHT  315 

Then  the  badger  also  went  to  Fairyland  and 
had  an  audience  and  expressed  his  humblest 
and  deepest  regret  at  the  past.  So  the  King 
pardoned  him,  and  kept  him  to  tea;  which 
was  the  proudest  moment  of  the  poor  badger's 
life  and  closed  the  incident. 

But  we  must  return  to  Charles,  who  ran 
without  stopping  to  the  Pixies'  Holt  and  soon 
made  known  his  great  news.  He  cast  the 
Flint  Heart  down  before  the  King  and  refused 
to  touch  it;  and  the  King,  who  was  rather 
scientific,  sent  for  his  learned  men  and  had  the 
Flint  Heart  arranged  in  a  bell-glass.  Then 
they  exhausted  the  air  with  an  air-pump;  and 
so  the  charm  lay  safe  in  a  vacuum  for  the 
present.  There,  of  course,  it  could  do  no 
harm  to  anybody;  but  the  problem  before 
Fairyland  was  what  step  to  take  next. 

"You  see,"  explained  the  King,  "the  diffi- 
culty is  really  very  great,  because,  do  what  we 
will,  somebody  may  have  to  suffer.  If  we 
throw  the  charm  into  the  air  a  bird  will  get  it, 
and  there  will  be  trouble  among  'the  feathered 


316  THE  FLINT  HEART 

legions  of  the  air,'  as  the  heron  so  grandly 
called  them;  if  we  fling  it  into  the  river  a 
salmon  will  get  it,  and,  between  ourselves,  the 
salmon  think  quite  highly  enough  of  them- 
selves as  it  is.  It  has  got  about  among  them 
that  they  are  fetching  three  shillings  a  pound, 
and  they  are  making  rather  a  needless  fuss 
in  consequence,  being  ignorant  of  the  laws  that 
govern  supply  and  demand.  Again,  if  we  fling 
the  stone  on  to  the  earth  we  shall  have  some 
fresh  trouble  among  the  beasts ;  and  if  we  leave 
it  here,  soon  or  later  some  fairy  will  be  sure 
to  get  hold  of  it,  because  nature  abhors  a 
vacuum,  and  she  won't  allow  us  to  keep  even 
the  Flint  Heart  in  a  vacuum  for  more  than  a 
certain  time.  Therefore  the  question  is, 
'What  shall  we  do  with  it?'  " 

Before  anybody  could  make  a  reply,  there 
came  a  messenger  to  the  King. 

"May  it  please  Your.  Majesty,"  he  said,  "the 
human  girl  Unity,  and  the  hot-water  bottle, 
Bismarck,  are  at  the  door,  and  Unity  wonders 


THE  FIGHT  317 

whether  they  may  come  in.  They  followed 
Charles,  and  bring  the  latest  news." 

"Let  them  enter,"  replied  the  King.  "I 
have  long  wanted  to  meet  the  hot-water  bot- 
tle, and  he  may  be  presented  at  once.  As  for 
Unity,  woman's  wit,  as  I  have  remarked  on 
former  occasions,  will  often  solve  a  knotty 
problem  when  the  profounder  male  mind  ut- 
terly fails  to  do  so." 

Therefore  Unity  and  Bismarck  entered  the 
presence.  She  had  picked  him  up  on  her  way, 
and  they  had  hurried  after  Charles,  hoping  to 
catch  her  brother  before  he  got  to  the  Pixies' 
Holt,  to  tell  him  the  good  news,  that  Mr.  Meles 
was  better  and  that  Flip  also  had  almost  re- 
covered at  the  promise  of  thirty  beefsteaks. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

A   MESSAGE   FROM    THE   ZAGABOG 

The  King  welcomed  the  visitors  kindly  and 
was  concerned  to  hear  of  the  bottle's  bad 
health.  In  fact,  he  sent  immediately  for  five 
of  the  Court  Physicians,  and  the  bottle  retired 
with  them  to  be  examined  while  other  business 
went  on.  Charles  and  his  sister  were  natur- 
ally rather  anxious  about  Bismarck;  but 
Unity  had  to  think  of  the  problem  before  the 
King;  for  His  Majesty  explained  the  situa- 
tion all  over  again  on  her  account;  and  then 
he  asked  her  if  any  idea  of  importance  occurred 
to  her  mind. 

"In  a  word,"  concluded  the  King,  "the 
Heart  is  a  danger  to  Society,  and  I  confess 
that  I  can't  for  the  moment  see  how  on  earth, 
or  under  water,  or  in  sky,  to  deal  with  the  mat- 
ter." 


ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE          319 

Unity  put  her  finger  in  her  mouth  and 
frowned,  which  she  always  did  when  she  had 
to  think  of  anything  difficult.  Then,  after  a 
silence  of 'at  least  ten  seconds,  she  said: 

"I  wonder  what  the  dear  Zagabog  would 
do?" 

Everybody  looked  at  the  King  and,  when 
they  saw  him  smile,  they  heartily  and  loudly 
applauded  Unity. 

"Woman's  wit,"  began  the  King,  "has  once 
more  conquered  a  difficult  situation.  To 
wonder  in  Fairyland  is  to  know.  We  will 
hear  what  the  good  Zagabog  would  do.  Set 
the  wireless  telegraphy  at  work  instantly. 
The  Zagabog  is  on  the  Riviera — no  distance 
at  all.  Inform  him  that  the  Flint  Heart  has 
been  captured  after  a  struggle;  that  it  is  at 
present  confined  in  a  vacuum,  and  that  the 
King  of  Fairyland  wants  to  learn  exactly  what 
he  shall  do  with  it." 

The  King  then  looked  at  his  -watch. 

"It  is  now  fifteen  to  six,"  he  said.  "We 
shall  get  the  answer  at  fifteen  to  seven,  if  not 


320  THE  FLINT  HEART 

sooner.     We  will  pass  the  time  with  a  charade 
or  two  and  a  cold  collation." 

So  the  message  was  sent  and  the  charades 
were  acted  and  the  cold  collation  was  eaten; 
and  then  there  came  a  bright  and  happy  event 
for  Charles  and  Unity,  and  indeed  for  every- 
body. The  doors  of  the  royal  consulting 
room  were  thrown  open  and  the  five  royal 
physicians  marched  out,  playing  a  rather 
charming  little  polka  on  their  stethoscopes. 
And  in  the  midst,  radiant  and  gay  and  per- 
fectly well,  from  his  bright  brass  nose  to  the 
points  of  his  toes,  tripped  the  hot-water  bottle. 
He  had  become  a  different  person  altogether, 
and  instead  of  being  limp  and  forlorn,  and  de- 
jected and  full  of  holes,  and  an  object  of  pity 
to  the  kind  observer,  he  was  grown  prosperous, 
stout,  handsome,  sound,  and  as  good  as  any- 
body. His  flat  face  was  wreathed  in  smiles. 
He  walked  with  a  light  and  elastic  tread.  He 
shone  all  over,  and  his  nose  glittered  like  a 
star  on  a  frosty  night. 


In  the  midst  tripped  the  hot-water  bottle 


ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE  321 

Charles  and  Unity  hardly  knew  him,  and 
now  he  was  so  excited  that  he  danced  and 
threw  a  somersault  or  two,  and  could  scarcely 
contain  himself  for  delight.  He  gave  each  a 
hand  and  kissed  Unity  warmly,  for  warmth 
was  always  his  strong  point. 

Then  the  Senior  Physician  explained  that  he 
and  his  companions  had  swiftly  discovered 
exactly  what  was  wrong  with  the  hot-water 
bottle,  and  that  they  had  cured  him  while  he 
waited.  In  fact,  as  Bismarck  said  himself, 
he  was  now  as  good  as  new,  if  not  actually  bet- 
ter. 

The  King  held  a  conversation  with  him,  and 
was  much  interested  at  hearing  his  adventures 
and  his  manner  of  life.  He  inquired  what  the 
bottle's  future  plans  might  be  and  Bismarck 
said  that  he  had  never  given  them  a  thought 
because  he  considered  that  his  career  was  as 
good  as  ended.  It  quite  upset  all  his  ideas  to 
find  himself  hale  and  hearty  and  thoroughly 
well  again  and  "fit  for  honest  work."  He  said : 


322  THE  FLINT  HEART 

"I  am  fond  of  work,  Your  Majesty,  and 
never  so  happy  as  when  comforting  somebody 
on  a  cold  night." 

Then  a  happy  thought  struck  the  King. 

"You  shall  stay  with  me,"  he  exclaimed. 
"In  fact,  as  the  weather  is  a  thought  chilly  for 
the  time  of  the  year,  you  shall  come  to  bed 
with  Her  Majesty  and  myself  this  very  night!" 

And  the  bottle  was  so  overpowered  that  he 
broke  into  verse,  as  he  always  did  in  the  great 
moments  of  his  life.  For  just  think  what  a 
splendid  fortune  had  overtaken  him!  One 
moment  he  was  a  poor  broken-down  invalid, 
full  of  holes  and  misery,  hanging  by  his  handle 
on  a  nail  in  a  stable ;  and  the  next  he  was  cured 
by  fairy  physic,  and  not  only  found  himself 
in  splendid  trim  again,  but  actually  invited  to 
sleep  with  the  King  and  Queen. 

Well  might  he  make  poetry! 

Even  his  voice  had  much  improved,  and  he 
purred  with  shrill  clear  accents,  as  the  kettle 
purrs  when  the  spirit-lamp  is  lighted  under  it 
at  tea-time: 


ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE          323 

"Sing  hey !  and  sing  ho !  for  the  jolly  hot  bottle 

So  soft  and  so  plump  and  so  kind  and  so  warm ; 
Let  the  water  be  boiling  right  up  to  his  throttle 
And  he'll  cuddle  by  you  and  keep  you  from 

harm. 
Sure  the  King  and  the  Queen 

Will  forget  all  their  woes 
When  the  jolly  hot  bottle 
Is   tickling  their   toes! 

"Sing  hey !  and  sing  ho !  for  the  bottle  so  knowing, 

So  genial  and  friendly  whatever  betide ; 
With  him  for  a  bedfellow  you  will  be  glowing 
And  warm  as  a  toast  though  it's  freezing  out- 
side. 

Sure  the  King  and  the  Queen 
Will  forgive  all  their  foes 
When  the  jolly  hot  bottle 
Is  tickling  their  toes!" 

After  this  capital  song,  the  bottle  was  led 
away  by  the  Gentleman  of  the  Bedchamber, 
to  explain  to  them  how  his  nose  screwed  off, 
and  other  things  that  it  was  necessary  for  them 
to  know;  and  just  as  he  marched  away  at  one 
door,  after  taking  an  affectionate  farewell  of 
Charles  and  Unity,  there  entered  at  another 
the  wireless-telegraph  boy  with  a  long  message 


324  THE  FLINT  HEART 

from  the  Zagabog.  And  it  would  have  cost  a 
great  deal  to  send  had  not  the  King,  with  his 
usual  thought  for  other  people,  arranged  that 
it  should  be  prepaid. 

The  herald  opened  it  and  read  it  to  the 
Court.  And  it  was  rather  fortunate  that 
Charles  and  Unity  had  stopped  to  hear  it,  be- 
cause they  were  both  mentioned. 

Thus  ran  the  message: 

"Hotel  Royal,  San  Remo. 

"To  the  King's  Excellent  Majesty,  from  his 
faithful  friend  and  admirer,  the  Zagabog. 

"In  order  safely  and  harmlessly  to  destroy 
the  charm  known  as  the  Flint  Heart,  take  one 
human  boy — the  boy  called  Charles — and  one 
human  girl — the  girl  called  Unity.  Choose  a 
fine  Friday  morning  before  dawn  and  bid 
Unity  bear  the  Flint  Heart  in  her  pinafore  to 
the  'Cuckoo  Rock/  where  my  friend  the 
cuckoo  always  sits  to  rest  when  he  arrives  on 
Dartmoor  for  his  summer  holiday.  Then 
direct  Charles  to  bring  the  road-mender's  big- 
gest hammer  and  strike  the  Flint  Heart  thrice. 
It  will  instantly  become  dust.  Next  the  King 


ZAGABOG'S  MESSAGE          325 

of  Fairyland  must  fling  one  pinch  into  the  air ; 
the  Queen  must  fling  one  pinch  into  the  water; 
the  Lord  High  Chancellor  must  fling  one 
pinch  upon  the  earth.  All  creatures  at  any 
time  interested  in  the  Flint  Heart  shall  be  pres- 
ent at  the  ceremony  and,  afterward,  the  Dawn 
Wind  will  sing  his  song,  and  the  sun  will  rise, 
and  everybody  must  go  home  again  to  break- 
fast. 

"Hoping  this  will  find  the  King  and  Queen 
of  Fairyland  as  it  leaves  me  at  present,  I  re- 
main, their  true  friend, 

"THE  ONLY  AND  ORIGINAL  ZAGABOG." 

"P.  S. — The  Snick  sends  his  love  and  re- 
spects." 

"To-morrow  will  be  Friday,"  said  the  King, 
"so  why  waste  a  week?  Let  my  commands  be 
sent  out  instantly  for  the  'Cuckoo  Rock'  be- 
fore dawn.  Unity  will  bring  the  Flint  Heart 
in  her  pinafore,  and  Charles  will  bring  the 
road-mender's  biggest  hammer ;  and  his  father, 
Mr.  Billy  Jago,  must  also  be  present." 

Then  the  meeting  broke  up,  and  Charles  and 
Unity  went  home  with  the  Flint  Heart,  which 


326  THE  FLINT  HEART 

was  taken  from  under  the  bell-glass  by  a  fairy 
of  science  with  a  pair  of  magic  tongs. 

And  the  remarkable  thing  is  that,  though 
Unity  carried  the  Flint  Heart,  she  continued 
just  the  same  little  wondering,  white,  ragged 
robin  of  a  Unity  as  ever;  and  the  charm  did 
not  make  her  the  least  bit  worse  than  usual. 
Which  shows  one  of  two  things:  either  that 
the  Flint  Heart  knew  what  was  going  to  hap- 
pen and  began  to  get  frightened  and  lose  its 
power,  or  else  that  Unity's  own  little  heart  was 
too  sweet  and  precious  and  altogether  lovely 
to  be  troubled  by  the  naughty  charm. 


CHAPTER   XXV 
"GOOD-BYE,  FLINT  HEART!" 

The  cocks  began  to  crow  at  four  o'clock  next 
morning,  for  they  seemed  to  understand,  like 
everybody  else,  that  rather  an  important  thing 
was  going  to  happen;  and  the  cuckoo,  who 
was  late  in  leaving  Dartmoor  that  year,  had 
just  settled  himself  at  the  top  of  his  own  special 
stone,  to  have  a  final  look  round,  when  he 
found  that  beasts  and  fairies  and  other  people 
were  approaching  in  all  directions.  So,  being 
a  shy  bird  and  not  liking  company,  he  went  off 
there  and  then  and  didn't  stop  flying  till  he  ar- 
rived in  France. 

The  folk  from  Merripit  Farm  arrived  first: 
Billy  Jago  and  John,  who  was  grown  up,  and 
Mary  and  Teddy  and  Frank  and  Sarah  and 
Jane  and  the  baby,  and,  lastly,  Charles,  carrying 
the  road-mender's  largest  hammer,  which  was 
327 


328  THE  FLINT  HEART 

a  very  heavy  one,  and  Unity  with  her  pinafore 
held  out  in  front  of  her  and  the  Flint  Heart 
upon  it.  Next  came  the  beasts  of  importance, 
and,  of  course,  the  badger,  and  nobody  was 
more  interested  in  this  ceremony  than  he 
was.  Indeed,  when  he  saw  the  Flint  Heart 
he  bristled  all  over  and  would  like  to  have 
ground  it  into  powder  himself.  Ship,  Flip, 
and  Chum  also  arrived;  and  then  came  the 
regiments  of  the  Jacky  Toads,  with  Marsh 
Galloper  and  his  wife  and  his  wife's  niece; 
Fire  Drake  and  his  wife;  and  many  other  im- 
portant members  of  the  clan.  Next  appeared 
the  Fairy  King  and  Queen  with  the  royal 
family  and  the  hot-water  bottle,  the  Lord 
High  Chancellor,  and  the  other  high  officers 
of  the  Court,  including,  of  course,  De  Quincey, 
Hans  Andersen  the  story-teller,  the  heralds, 
the  chorus,  and  the  band.  Ten  thousand 
fairies  followed ;  because  the  King  dearly  loved 
a  great  pageant  and  liked  a  crowd  to  see  it. 

But  others  had  yet  to  come,  for  when  the 
company    was    grouped    about    the  "Cuckoo 


"GOOD-BYE,  FLINT  HEART!"      329 

Rock"  two  dim  stern  shapes  grew  out  of  the 
morning  light  and  stood  huge  above  the  stone 
where  lay  the  Flint  Heart.  They  were 
greater  than  any  of  those  present,  and  you 
could  see  the  sunrise  through  them,  for  they 
were  spirits  from  Shadow-land.  One  was 
Phutt,  the  terrible  chief  of  the  Grimspound 
clan  in  the  far-off  New  Stone  days,  when  the 
Flint  Heart  set  out  upon  its  romantic  career; 
and  the  other  was  that  mighty  magician  Fum, 
who  made  the  Flint  Heart  at  his  mystery-shop 
beside  the  river. 

And,  vaster  still,  towering  into  the  dawn, 
touched  with  the  wild  glory  of  dayspring, 
ascended  two  enormous  and  majestic  figures 
above  the  ring  of  the  tors  and  high  into  the 
sky.  These,  indeed,  might  easily  have  been 
mistaken  for  gigantic  purple  clouds,  fledged 
and  fluted  with  gold  and  scarlet  along  their 
peaks  and  precipices,  and  crowned  with  the 
herald  banners  that  shot  to  the  zenith  of  the 
sky  from  the  coming  of  the  sun;  but  really 
they  were  not  clouds  at  all,  and  the  fairies,  and 


330  THE  FLINT  HEART 

those  who  understand  the  truth  about  things, 
knew  very  well  who  they  were.  And  so  did 
Unity,  for  she  waved  her  sun-bonnet  and 
kissed  her  hand  and  cried : 

"I  wonder  where  the  darling  Zagabog  gets 
his  lovely  clothes !" 

And  the  King  said : 

"He  gets  them  from  the  sun  every  morn- 
ing, for,  like  myself,  he  never  wears  the  same 
suit  twice;  and,  as  you  will  observe,  they  are 
a  perfect  fit." 

Indeed,  the  two  great  glorious  objects,  tow- 
ering like  pillars  on  either  side  of  the  eastern 
sky,  were  the  Zagabog  and  his  friend  the 
Thunder  Spirit,  clad  in  their  very  best.  They 
were  both  much  interested  in  the  ceremony, 
and  the  Thunder  Spirit  even  forgot  to  laugh; 
which  was  a  good  thing,  because  if  he  had 
done  so  he  must  have  spoiled  the  music  and 
alarmed  many  of  the  company. 

Then  came  the  solemn  moment  when  the 
Flint  Heart  was  to  be  changed  and  admin- 
istered in  small  doses  to  earth  and  air  and 


Charles  struck  the  Flint  Heart  three  times 


"GOOD-BYE,  FLINT  HEART!"      331 

water.  Charles  struck  him  three  times,  and 
at  the  third  blow,  behold!  a  little  pile  of  grey 
dust  took  the  place  of  the  glittering,  hard, 
black,  flint  stone.  And  then  the  King  took  the 
first  pinch  and  flung  it  into  the  air,  and  the 
birds  gave  a  mighty  sneeze;  and  the  Queen 
took  a  pinch  and  flung  it  into  the  river,  and 
the  fish  became  immensely  excited  and  dashed 
about  as  though  a  freshet  was  coming ;  and  the 
Lord  High  Chancellor  took  the  last  pinch  and 
flung  it  upon  the  earth,  and  the  beasts  coughed 
and  snorted.  But  the  effect  upon  all  the 
creatures  was  the  same:  the  dust  of  the  Flint 
Heart  braced  them  up,  made  them  brisk  and 
cheerful,  and  acted  like  a  tonic  upon  every  one 
of  them,  whether  they  wore  fins  or  fur  or 
feathers;  whether  they  breathed  water  or  air. 
And  that  is  the  real  grand  reason  why  Dart- 
moor is  so  stinging  and  bracing,  and  puts  such 
life  into  you,  and  makes  you  feel  so  hungry  and 
so  jolly.  That  is  why  Dartmoor  water  is  so 
foaming  and  refreshing,  so  cold  and  brisk ;  and 
why  Dartmoor  earth  is  so  tough  and  elastic 


332  THE  FLINT  HEART 

and  springy  that  you  can  walk  or  run  all  day 
upon  it,  and  never  grow  tired.  There  is  a 
touch  of  the  Flint  Heart  still  about  Dartmoor, 
and  the  people  who  live  there  need  it,  I  assure 
you;  for  you  must  be  pretty  hard  and  strong 
and  ready  for  anything  up  among  the  high 
tors  and  heather,  especially  when  winter  comes 
and  the  great  North  Wind  spreads  his  snowy 
wings  and  the  East  Wind  shows  his  teeth 
there. 

But  it  was  the  gentle  Dawn  Wind  that  now 
ended  this  ceremony,  as  the  Zagabog  had 
promised. 

A  great  silence  followed  after  the  last  pinch 
of  the  Flint  Heart  had  been  scattered  over  the 
earth  and  all  the  beasts  had  cleared  their 
throats. 

Then  from  the  sky  there  came  a  murmur  of 
music,  wild  and  soft,  and  the  Dawn  Wind 
sang: 

"Wind  of  the  Dawn  am  I,  and  only  She 
Who  knows  the  music  of  all  secret  song 


"GOOD-BYE,  FLINT  HEART!"      333 

Shall  read  my  whisper  murmuring  along 
Melodiously. 

"Melodiously  toward  another  morn, 
Gleaning  of  silver  dew  upon  my  way, 
I  fly  from  darkness  to  the  young  glad  day 
Soon  to  be  born. 

"Out  of  the  East  she  comes,  and  I  rejoice, 
And,  breaking  from  the  fainting  hold  of  night, 
Leap  like  a  giant  to  her  bosom  bright 
With  organ  voice. 

"Lo !  where  the  misty,  rosy  magic  lands 
Bud  into  gold  along  each  wakened  lea, 
The  Fairies  of  the  Morning  welcome  me 
And  clap  their  hands!" 

And  the  fairies  did  welcome  him,  though 
they  had  not  the  faintest  idea  what  he  was 
singing  about ;  but  they  were  glad  because  the 
Dawn  Wind  was  glad,  and  they  watched  him 
sweep  away,  with  the  Zagabog  and  the 
Thunder  Spirit,  through  the  wonderful  Gates 
of  the  Morning. 


334  THE  FLINT  HEART 

Then  everybody  went  home  with  good  heart 
and  good  appetite. 

Which  ends  the  story,  and  I  am  sorry  that 
it  is  finished. 

But  if  it  takes  you  to  Dartmoor  next  sum- 
mer that  will  be  well;  and  when  you  do  go, 
may  the  Fairies  of  the  Morning  welcome  you 
also,  and  bring  new  laughter  to  your  lips,  new 
light  to  your  eyes,  and  also  joy  to  the  young 
hearts  of  you  all. 


THE  END 


°00  036  001 


